Thursday, 7 May 2009



First things first: no weigh in today. Or tomorrow, probably.

Last night, around 10-10:30ish I was on my computer chatting to a good friend of mine. I'm running out of abbreviations here. I can't call him J because J is my aunt's partner and I can't call him D because D is my best guyfriend back home. So we'll call him J2. And also the "J that has a penis"

So anyway. We were chatting and being generally bitchy and irritated with the world at large, which is kind of our thing. He may or may not be losing his job due to his regional managers being gay retards (he manages a store) and the fact that they do not like that he is a human being to his staff. GOD FORBID. THAT IS BAD. Although, as I told him last night:

"So basically you're maybe losing your job because you're NOT an asshole who shits on people for fun? Well no, technically you ARE an asshole, just not to peoples' faces. So that doesn't count."

Anyway, suddenly I started getting the odd random lights flashing in front of my eyes. I just call them "flashies" but I guess the current scientific/medical term is a "migraine aura" or something. My aunt gets them nearly every time she's about to get a migraine. I do not get them often at all. I think in the past 17++ years of suffering from migraines, I've had flashies maybe half a dozen times?

Anyway for me, "flashies" mean bad times. I only ever get them if I'm going to get a more horrendous migraine than usual, and you may think "horrendous" and "migraine" are synonyms already and using them together is redundant, and ordinarily you would be right. But migraine attacks preceded by flashies are, for me, something I would gladly trade for a night in the woods with a serial killer. Or maybe an embolism?

So, bad times, I popped some painkillers and went to bed. I've got a headache today but not a proper attack, and I keep getting the occasional flash of light on my periphery. Unfortunately, guess what, NO MIGRAINE MEDS STILL.

The migraine meds I take are not strictly prescription-only (I think they were back in Canada but here if you go to a pharmacy and ask for them and tell them you've had them before they'll give them to you) so I can buy them over the counter at any pharmacy. My doctor tells me to take them, refuses to give me a prescription for something stronger, so I just keep buying them. J (not to be confused with J2 With A Penis)'s doctor has given her a prescription for them, so she just gets it refilled that way.

Now, here's where it gets retarded.

My doctor didn't give me a prescription for THESE ones because the standard cost of prescriptions here is more expensive than standard-size of these anyway. My aunt's partner however has a prescription for the double-size boxes so she essentially gets twice as many pills for nearly the same cost.

Obviously my doctor is an idiot. The reason I don't have any migraine meds right now is because I can't afford to buy them, and also my aunt and J took my last half-dozen pills. Rockin'.

Speaking of my doctor. Two years ago I had some blood tests done. My ex had just left me for another woman and I'd had to move out of our home together and back in with my grandparents. And the stress of it all and the utter heartbreak and depression was taking a huge toll on me. I was being sick every day, had no appetite, couldn't sleep AT ALL, and this feeling of nausea and dizziness was constant, for months. Of course, my doctor assumed off the bat that of course I must be pregnant, even though I told her that A: I'm on the pill and B: my ex CAN NOT HAVE KIDS BECAUSE HIS BODY DOES NOT PRODUCE SPERM. But she was all "hey, anything can happen."

Of course, that came back negative so she decided to do a batch of blood tests to rule out anything scary causing my symptoms - and of course, did another pregnancy test to be sure (and for those weeks my grandmother pissed me off relentlessly by saying EVERY DAY "I think you're pregnant, you know" fuck off please?).

Things came back mostly okay, I didn't have any diseases and wasn't diabetic or anything. I personally thought maybe I'd be anaemic, because I had most of the signs, most specifically the CONSTANT FUCKING FATIGUE. I was surprised to find out my problem was the opposite - my RBC, Haemoglobin and Platelet counts were all marginally too HIGH rather than too low, which it was I was expecting to hear.

My doctor said they weren't so far out of whack as to be panicking or anything (even though all of these things can be signifiers of bigger problems) but said she'd redo the tests in 3 months to see if things are back to normal/have balanced out, or are the same - and to check things aren't getting worse.

I haven't been back to my doctor since, there isn't even a note on my file to say that I should go have tests done. When I called a couple months ago to order a repeat prescription of my BCP, there was nothing, and I'm fucking not about to invite myself over for a blood test that nobody knows anything about.

Wow, I'm rambling so much lately.

Anyway the actual point of this post is just that my head hurts and I want to go home but instead I am stuck at work and it is only 9:30 in the morning. I've been here for an hour but it feels like three. I'm leaving at 4:30 and it can not come fast enough. That's six hours from now. I might actually die of old age before I get to leave.

I'm such a drama queen, I know.

I didn't have time to find a container to put my blueberries in this morning, so instead I've brought a coffee SlimFast for lunch. And, this is probably gross and too much info, but everytime I have coffee slimfast shakes, it makes my pee smell like coffee. And not yummy sweet starbucks coffee either, like really horrible cheap 4p-a-jar instant freeze-dried coffee. From Netto.

1 comment:

Lady Destroyed said...

Hehe, I've totally had the coffee slimfast pee smell issue, too. Sooo wierd.