Totally making up for yesterday big time!
It's currently 3:30 in the afternoon here in Sunny ol' England (and it actually IS sunny here for a change what the shit?) and I'm leaving work at 4. And so far I have consumed 5 calories, in the form of a 500ml bottle of 7-Up Free.
My stomach was grumbling and hungry between 10 and 11ish, but I made myself wait until after 12 to make my 10-calorie soup. I plunged on with my work instead, and the next thing I knew it was nearly 2pm, and I wasn't even hungry anymore. Still am not, in fact.
So, fabulousness.
After a 10-kcal soup at home, and another bottle of 7-Up Free, my total intake will be exactly 20 calories.
As an aside, this right here is why I'm not sure it's worth me doing the ABC diet. Technically speaking, today would have been a 500 calorie day, but I'm strong and doing it well anyway. But that said, is it worth doing ANY plan at all? I spent all of yesterday agonizing that I needed a structure, but yet here I am doing it on my own and ignoring what structure dictates.
Something to think about, I guess.
Have a nice weekend dolls! Hopefully my internet will be hooked up soon, so I can post when I'm not at work =/
Vee xox
Showing posts with label calorie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label calorie. Show all posts
Friday, 12 June 2009
Tuesday, 9 June 2009
Confessional
So far, so good.
Last night I stuck to my guns and just had a 10 calorie chicken flavoured soup for dinner. Add two mugs of Dr Pepper Zero, and that was it last night. Added to the cereal-soymilk-yogurt at work and my daily total was 199 =]
So pleased with myself. Even moreso because my daily weigh in registered a drop of FIVE POUNDS since yesterday. Because of that, I'm feeling more comfortable admitting the current state of affairs. This morning I was 199.4lbs. I'm still in denial and can't bring myself to post the number that turned up yesterday, but I'm sure you can all do the simple math. And that is why I felt like a failure. I weighed MORE yesterday than I did when I started this blog.
But progress has been made and the big cut to my calorie intake seems to have done the job. I will readily admit that at least half of it is probably water weight, and some of the weigh in yesterday might have been water and bowel weight - but regardless of the reason for the numbers, the one that turned up yesterday was simply unacceptible.
Today I am planning more of the same. I've had my cereal, I've got another fat free yogurt for lunch, and I've got the 10-calorie soups in the cupboard at home. So all going according to plan today should be 199 calories again.
We may or may not be going to the cinema tonight. J wants to see the new Star Trek movie before she has her surgery (tomorrow) and my aunt said we'd go last night to get it in before the big surgery date. Of course, when I got home from work last night my aunt professed to being too tired and said we'd go tonight instead. J said she had a lot to do (getting all her things together for the hospital, and they're bringing the big TV from the old house tonight too) and wasn't sure we'd have time. Then my aunt was like "Well we don't have to go if you don't want to" and I really wanted to laugh. I wanted to say "J is the one that WANTS to go, you're the one making excuses not to" - especially since they just sat at home and watched tv until 11 anyway, so we might as well have gone to see the movie.
But, I'm digressing. All that is to say that we're planning to go to see it tonight, but then they're not sure it'll happen. We'll see.
Tomorrow will be a busy day. I've got the day off work, and we're going with J to the hospital in the morning. She has to be there at 7. Ordinarily I would be near suicidal at that idea, because I am so desperately not a morning person. But since we moved into the new house my sleeping problems have grown more severe (fucking lack of decent curtains!!) so every day since we moved I've been awake between 5 and 5:30. So it's not really a big deal to have to leave around 6 tomorrow morning.
Then, I need to see if I can get my aunt to take me to the mall or to town or something because I need to pick up a couple things. It was my friend S's birthday last Friday and I'm going out with her on Saturday (shopping and planning our trip to Manchester next week and getting out free Starbucks and we're supposed to be lunching at Nandos, which is definitely going to be a challenge) so I need to pick up a card and a present. And I'm at a total loss. I've only known S since like October of last year, but she's quickly become one of my best friends (and I'm pretty sure she used to have an eating disorder because the last time we went out we were discussing diets and my aunts' surgery and she said "Just try the not-eating diet. I did that, and I used to weigh 6 stone until I met L (her boyfriend-now-fiancee)") But again, I'm digressing.
I'm not sure what to get for her. I know she's into Urban Decay makeup but I don't know what she already has and I don't want to buy her something she's already got. Ditto with cookbooks (specifically baking ones). So I might just buy her a leather wallet with butterflies on it that she saw when we went to River Island a couple of weeks ago. She'll probably expect it, because as she was agonizing over whether to get it or not I asked her then and there if she wanted me to get it for her birthday. But at least I know it's something she wants.
And then, I also need to get something for my grandmother. Christ, I can't remember if I blogged about this yesterday or if it was just in the email I sent S in the afternoon. Let me check, haha. Okay, no I didn't.
A couple of months ago I bought a few pairs of Rocket Dog flats. And I love them (I bought 2 each of 2 different styles, and the one style fit awesomely but the other style fits snug so I don't wear them often, even though they're nicer than the others). And, so does my grandmother. So I was going to get her a pair for cheap off of Ebay (where I got 3 of my 4 pairs from") for her birthday. They'd be perfect for summer, if we ever get a summer here.
Of course, then we moved, and I haven't had the internet for a week and a half. I was under the impression we'd have our broadband hooked up a couple of days after moving, but that's not the case. The old broadband was still hooked up, I think it's being disconnected today, and AOL said they couldn't hook theirs up until the old one was cut off. So, fun times. Anyway, now it's too late to order some in time for granny's birthday, since it's this Friday. So I'll probably get her a gift set from Lush or something.
I am queen of the cop-out gifts, it seems.
Anyway, I need to get some work done so I'll talk to you later.
Love you lots!
Vee xox
This is my new leaf. Watch me turn it over.
Last night I stuck to my guns and just had a 10 calorie chicken flavoured soup for dinner. Add two mugs of Dr Pepper Zero, and that was it last night. Added to the cereal-soymilk-yogurt at work and my daily total was 199 =]
So pleased with myself. Even moreso because my daily weigh in registered a drop of FIVE POUNDS since yesterday. Because of that, I'm feeling more comfortable admitting the current state of affairs. This morning I was 199.4lbs. I'm still in denial and can't bring myself to post the number that turned up yesterday, but I'm sure you can all do the simple math. And that is why I felt like a failure. I weighed MORE yesterday than I did when I started this blog.
But progress has been made and the big cut to my calorie intake seems to have done the job. I will readily admit that at least half of it is probably water weight, and some of the weigh in yesterday might have been water and bowel weight - but regardless of the reason for the numbers, the one that turned up yesterday was simply unacceptible.
Today I am planning more of the same. I've had my cereal, I've got another fat free yogurt for lunch, and I've got the 10-calorie soups in the cupboard at home. So all going according to plan today should be 199 calories again.
We may or may not be going to the cinema tonight. J wants to see the new Star Trek movie before she has her surgery (tomorrow) and my aunt said we'd go last night to get it in before the big surgery date. Of course, when I got home from work last night my aunt professed to being too tired and said we'd go tonight instead. J said she had a lot to do (getting all her things together for the hospital, and they're bringing the big TV from the old house tonight too) and wasn't sure we'd have time. Then my aunt was like "Well we don't have to go if you don't want to" and I really wanted to laugh. I wanted to say "J is the one that WANTS to go, you're the one making excuses not to" - especially since they just sat at home and watched tv until 11 anyway, so we might as well have gone to see the movie.
But, I'm digressing. All that is to say that we're planning to go to see it tonight, but then they're not sure it'll happen. We'll see.
Tomorrow will be a busy day. I've got the day off work, and we're going with J to the hospital in the morning. She has to be there at 7. Ordinarily I would be near suicidal at that idea, because I am so desperately not a morning person. But since we moved into the new house my sleeping problems have grown more severe (fucking lack of decent curtains!!) so every day since we moved I've been awake between 5 and 5:30. So it's not really a big deal to have to leave around 6 tomorrow morning.
Then, I need to see if I can get my aunt to take me to the mall or to town or something because I need to pick up a couple things. It was my friend S's birthday last Friday and I'm going out with her on Saturday (shopping and planning our trip to Manchester next week and getting out free Starbucks and we're supposed to be lunching at Nandos, which is definitely going to be a challenge) so I need to pick up a card and a present. And I'm at a total loss. I've only known S since like October of last year, but she's quickly become one of my best friends (and I'm pretty sure she used to have an eating disorder because the last time we went out we were discussing diets and my aunts' surgery and she said "Just try the not-eating diet. I did that, and I used to weigh 6 stone until I met L (her boyfriend-now-fiancee)") But again, I'm digressing.
I'm not sure what to get for her. I know she's into Urban Decay makeup but I don't know what she already has and I don't want to buy her something she's already got. Ditto with cookbooks (specifically baking ones). So I might just buy her a leather wallet with butterflies on it that she saw when we went to River Island a couple of weeks ago. She'll probably expect it, because as she was agonizing over whether to get it or not I asked her then and there if she wanted me to get it for her birthday. But at least I know it's something she wants.
And then, I also need to get something for my grandmother. Christ, I can't remember if I blogged about this yesterday or if it was just in the email I sent S in the afternoon. Let me check, haha. Okay, no I didn't.
A couple of months ago I bought a few pairs of Rocket Dog flats. And I love them (I bought 2 each of 2 different styles, and the one style fit awesomely but the other style fits snug so I don't wear them often, even though they're nicer than the others). And, so does my grandmother. So I was going to get her a pair for cheap off of Ebay (where I got 3 of my 4 pairs from") for her birthday. They'd be perfect for summer, if we ever get a summer here.
Of course, then we moved, and I haven't had the internet for a week and a half. I was under the impression we'd have our broadband hooked up a couple of days after moving, but that's not the case. The old broadband was still hooked up, I think it's being disconnected today, and AOL said they couldn't hook theirs up until the old one was cut off. So, fun times. Anyway, now it's too late to order some in time for granny's birthday, since it's this Friday. So I'll probably get her a gift set from Lush or something.
I am queen of the cop-out gifts, it seems.
Anyway, I need to get some work done so I'll talk to you later.
Love you lots!
Vee xox
This is my new leaf. Watch me turn it over.
Monday, 8 June 2009
Good? Maybe.
This weekend was a shittalicious weekend. I mean I didn't overeat (aside from the bag of popcorn at the cinema on Saturday night, but I haven't had cinema popcorn in over a year and a half and I needed to get it out of my system. And after all the popcorn kernel skin crap that got all up in my gums, I'm kind of getting sick of it already) so it wasn't bad in THAT sense.
But it was bad in the sense that I managed to weigh myself and then nearly dropped dead right there in my bathroom.
I can't even bring myself to type or say it. I'm in denial. But this has forced me to really need to do something about it. I mean, the need has been there for a while but I let myself become complacent. Saying, hey, I've eaten more than I should but it's still less than a "normal person" so it's ok. But it isn't okay.
So, back to basics, baby.
Today has been a good day so far.
For breakfast I brought cereal to work. I found this awesome gadget at Morrison's this weekend that is like two pots that screw together. The bottom one has a gel lining and you put it in the freezer (like those plastic cups you get in summer with gel in it and you freeze it so it keeps your drinks cold?) and you put your milk in it and it keeps your milk cold. The top part you put the cereal into, then screw it on top of the milk part, pop it in a bag and you're good to go. The lid even has a foldy spoon in it. Super handy.
So, I bought some unsweetened soymilk. My aunts spent all last night bitching about how horrible soymilk is and yick. But honestly, I couldn't really tell a difference between that and the semiskimmed/2% they usually buy for cereal. Although, I don't like milk anyway so it all tastes just as nonyummy to me I guess.
So I had:
Half a cup of Special K cereal = Around 60 kcals (I'm going off the guidelines for Red Berries, which is slightly more than the one I bought)
Around 100mls of unsweetened Soymilk = Around 29kcals (I'll need to check the carton and do exact calcs when I get home)
That was breakfast. Then for lunch I just had a fat-free vanilla yogurt for 100 calories.
Total so far? 189. Yay, under 200!
Last night for dinner I had a Weight Watcher's Shepherd's pie. And you know what, it was pretty damn good, and only 220 calories. Which is MUCH better than some of the frozen meals out there. I don't think I've got another at home so it'll either be a salmon-broccoli-wedge-melt (around 290?) or a Slimfast Shake (219). Depending on how I feel when I get home I might actually up the ante a little and just have another 100-kcal yogurt
So... That makes my max at under 500, which is live-with-able. But I'm going to aim for that Yogurt because having sub-300 would just feel amazing.
OH SNAP. I just remembered I picked up some 10-calorie soups! Ignore all of the above, I'm having 10-calorie soup for dinner.
Total: 199 Calories.
Fuck. Yes.
We can do this ladies. Fuck yes we can.
Vee xox
But it was bad in the sense that I managed to weigh myself and then nearly dropped dead right there in my bathroom.
I can't even bring myself to type or say it. I'm in denial. But this has forced me to really need to do something about it. I mean, the need has been there for a while but I let myself become complacent. Saying, hey, I've eaten more than I should but it's still less than a "normal person" so it's ok. But it isn't okay.
So, back to basics, baby.
Today has been a good day so far.
For breakfast I brought cereal to work. I found this awesome gadget at Morrison's this weekend that is like two pots that screw together. The bottom one has a gel lining and you put it in the freezer (like those plastic cups you get in summer with gel in it and you freeze it so it keeps your drinks cold?) and you put your milk in it and it keeps your milk cold. The top part you put the cereal into, then screw it on top of the milk part, pop it in a bag and you're good to go. The lid even has a foldy spoon in it. Super handy.
So, I bought some unsweetened soymilk. My aunts spent all last night bitching about how horrible soymilk is and yick. But honestly, I couldn't really tell a difference between that and the semiskimmed/2% they usually buy for cereal. Although, I don't like milk anyway so it all tastes just as nonyummy to me I guess.
So I had:
Half a cup of Special K cereal = Around 60 kcals (I'm going off the guidelines for Red Berries, which is slightly more than the one I bought)
Around 100mls of unsweetened Soymilk = Around 29kcals (I'll need to check the carton and do exact calcs when I get home)
That was breakfast. Then for lunch I just had a fat-free vanilla yogurt for 100 calories.
Total so far? 189. Yay, under 200!
Last night for dinner I had a Weight Watcher's Shepherd's pie. And you know what, it was pretty damn good, and only 220 calories. Which is MUCH better than some of the frozen meals out there. I don't think I've got another at home so it'll either be a salmon-broccoli-wedge-melt (around 290?) or a Slimfast Shake (219). Depending on how I feel when I get home I might actually up the ante a little and just have another 100-kcal yogurt
So... That makes my max at under 500, which is live-with-able. But I'm going to aim for that Yogurt because having sub-300 would just feel amazing.
OH SNAP. I just remembered I picked up some 10-calorie soups! Ignore all of the above, I'm having 10-calorie soup for dinner.
Total: 199 Calories.
Fuck. Yes.
We can do this ladies. Fuck yes we can.
Vee xox
Wednesday, 3 June 2009
Fuck
Last night I received the final bit of motivation I needed to get back on track fully.
After work I met J at the old house so we could pick up a few more small things to take back to the new house. I had to get the hanger pole things and the last 2 drawers for my wardrobe. I put a couple extra small things in it and bent over to pick them up off the floor - and the fucking seam in my work trousers split.
Embarassing and pissed-off-making.
I wouldn't say they fit any tighter than they did a week, two weeks, three weeks ago or anything. And it might be wear and tear since I've been wearing them constantly (well not CONSTANTLY, I'm not a grodey girl, but a lot of wearing, washing, and ironing) for the past year and a half.
But it was still horrible and made me feel ridiculously fat assed.
So, that was that.
Today my meal plan is as follows:
1/2 Strawberry SlimFast shake for Breakfast
1/2 Strawberry SlimFast shake for Lunch
At home, my aunt bought a small pizza to cook for dinner and the best before date is today. If she cooks it, I'll have a piece and cut my losses and not have anything else. If she forgets then yay we can throw them away and I can have a yogurt instead =]
If I can do the yogurt, it will get my total daily calorie intake down to 312. Tomorrow will be probably nothing at work at all, and then a 350-kcal frozen weight watcher's meal at home. Right now we don't have a lot of food at home, which is good and bad. Good because yay not much food! Bad because there's no "healthy" food. Our freezer has some frozen meals in it, which aren't too bad, since they're all under 400 calories per serving. And if that's all I have in a day, then that's just fine. But I would rather have fruit and yogurt. I might buy some stuff to make lettuce soup this week too, becaue at 35 calories a bowl you can not go wrong.
The only problem being that our stove is apparently totally fucked. The oven has two settings that work: Off and Hot As The Pits Of Hell (also known to the layman as "full blast") and the electric hob works randomly or not at all. Sigh.
I'd like to try some kind of new diet. Like a raw food diet. The problem is, I know I'd get bored. I'm kind of tempted to "Go Vegan" because it gives me more sway with the family if anyone questions what I'm eating but... the truth is, I probably couldn't. Cheese is something I don't eat very often, but it's still there for an occasional treat.
Although, that's probably my problem right there. I need to not bank on having that occasional treat.
Anyway, tonight will be a busy night. I need to get my ass in gear and unpack. I put it off last night because I had a killer fucking headache and I had to wash-dry-straighten my hair which took forever. It's looking daunting because half the shit in my room isn't even mine. The gaming chair, the box of DVDs, the DVD player, all belong in my aunt's room or the Office. But the office still has boxes in it. Fuck it, I'm moving that shit out anyway, I need it out of my room. Because the boxes that I need to unpack are in front of all the drawers that I need to unpack them INTO. God.
Did I mention I fucking hate moving?
But I need to get unpacked. Not just because I don't know where anything is (seriously, I can't remember which box has my makeup removers and cotton balls in them, so I had to buy some new makeup remover but forgot cotton balls. And toilet paper leaves bits of its fibres everywhere and gets in your eyes and it sucks. Ugh), but so I can get the treadmill out. I'm looking forward to it.
And I'm kind of looking forward to the possibility of HAVING to walk a mile to and from my bus stop in the morning. Next Wednesday J is having her operation and will be off work for I think 8 weeks, so she won't be driving me to the stop in the morning. My aunt rarely works early shifts, so I won't be able to grab a ride with her either. So that leaves me only the option of walking.
Pros:
Exercise! YAAAAAY!
Cons:
Having to do it in work clothes and shoes
Rain
Nowhere to shower afterward if I get sweaty
I mean, I realize it's only a mile but I'd rather speedwalk and get my heartrate up than spend two hours on a leisurely stroll. Plus my handbag is huge and fucking heavy so it's like speedwalking with a lead weight over one shoulder hehe.
But I digress. When I get home tonight I must also remember to burn those Zumba DVDs so I can get my aerobics on.
Wow. Isn't it funny how a blog entry can totally change your perspective? When I started I was feeling all depressed and pissed off. Now I'm excited about upcoming exercise woot!
Oh also, more excitedness!
Muse is playing in my city in November! <3 I found out this morning and emailed my good buddy S and I'm booking our tickets Friday morning as soon as they go on sale. TOTALLY STOKED! Also preordered their new CD. And Placebo's new CD which is out on Monday. Love!
Sigh. I missed the last Placebo concert in May because it was the day my aunts left for Spain and I had shit to do. Placebo is also playing Manchester in December, but unfortunately I'm in Cancun when they're doing their UK tour dates. Green Day is totally sold out. So I'm not happy about that. But I've been dying to see Muse for EVER (I've been dying to see Green Day too but whatever, and I've already seen Placebo twice, even though they are AMAZING live and I need to see them again) so that's perked me right up.
I'm hoping Marilyn Manson will announce another tour soon, what with the release of his new album The High End Of Low (which is pretty good by the way. My favourite track is We're From America, which is fucking hilarious in a sarcastically offensive kind of way)
Have a great one darlings!
Vee xox
After work I met J at the old house so we could pick up a few more small things to take back to the new house. I had to get the hanger pole things and the last 2 drawers for my wardrobe. I put a couple extra small things in it and bent over to pick them up off the floor - and the fucking seam in my work trousers split.
Embarassing and pissed-off-making.
I wouldn't say they fit any tighter than they did a week, two weeks, three weeks ago or anything. And it might be wear and tear since I've been wearing them constantly (well not CONSTANTLY, I'm not a grodey girl, but a lot of wearing, washing, and ironing) for the past year and a half.
But it was still horrible and made me feel ridiculously fat assed.
So, that was that.
Today my meal plan is as follows:
1/2 Strawberry SlimFast shake for Breakfast
1/2 Strawberry SlimFast shake for Lunch
At home, my aunt bought a small pizza to cook for dinner and the best before date is today. If she cooks it, I'll have a piece and cut my losses and not have anything else. If she forgets then yay we can throw them away and I can have a yogurt instead =]
If I can do the yogurt, it will get my total daily calorie intake down to 312. Tomorrow will be probably nothing at work at all, and then a 350-kcal frozen weight watcher's meal at home. Right now we don't have a lot of food at home, which is good and bad. Good because yay not much food! Bad because there's no "healthy" food. Our freezer has some frozen meals in it, which aren't too bad, since they're all under 400 calories per serving. And if that's all I have in a day, then that's just fine. But I would rather have fruit and yogurt. I might buy some stuff to make lettuce soup this week too, becaue at 35 calories a bowl you can not go wrong.
The only problem being that our stove is apparently totally fucked. The oven has two settings that work: Off and Hot As The Pits Of Hell (also known to the layman as "full blast") and the electric hob works randomly or not at all. Sigh.
I'd like to try some kind of new diet. Like a raw food diet. The problem is, I know I'd get bored. I'm kind of tempted to "Go Vegan" because it gives me more sway with the family if anyone questions what I'm eating but... the truth is, I probably couldn't. Cheese is something I don't eat very often, but it's still there for an occasional treat.
Although, that's probably my problem right there. I need to not bank on having that occasional treat.
Anyway, tonight will be a busy night. I need to get my ass in gear and unpack. I put it off last night because I had a killer fucking headache and I had to wash-dry-straighten my hair which took forever. It's looking daunting because half the shit in my room isn't even mine. The gaming chair, the box of DVDs, the DVD player, all belong in my aunt's room or the Office. But the office still has boxes in it. Fuck it, I'm moving that shit out anyway, I need it out of my room. Because the boxes that I need to unpack are in front of all the drawers that I need to unpack them INTO. God.
Did I mention I fucking hate moving?
But I need to get unpacked. Not just because I don't know where anything is (seriously, I can't remember which box has my makeup removers and cotton balls in them, so I had to buy some new makeup remover but forgot cotton balls. And toilet paper leaves bits of its fibres everywhere and gets in your eyes and it sucks. Ugh), but so I can get the treadmill out. I'm looking forward to it.
And I'm kind of looking forward to the possibility of HAVING to walk a mile to and from my bus stop in the morning. Next Wednesday J is having her operation and will be off work for I think 8 weeks, so she won't be driving me to the stop in the morning. My aunt rarely works early shifts, so I won't be able to grab a ride with her either. So that leaves me only the option of walking.
Pros:
Exercise! YAAAAAY!
Cons:
Having to do it in work clothes and shoes
Rain
Nowhere to shower afterward if I get sweaty
I mean, I realize it's only a mile but I'd rather speedwalk and get my heartrate up than spend two hours on a leisurely stroll. Plus my handbag is huge and fucking heavy so it's like speedwalking with a lead weight over one shoulder hehe.
But I digress. When I get home tonight I must also remember to burn those Zumba DVDs so I can get my aerobics on.
Wow. Isn't it funny how a blog entry can totally change your perspective? When I started I was feeling all depressed and pissed off. Now I'm excited about upcoming exercise woot!
Oh also, more excitedness!
Muse is playing in my city in November! <3 I found out this morning and emailed my good buddy S and I'm booking our tickets Friday morning as soon as they go on sale. TOTALLY STOKED! Also preordered their new CD. And Placebo's new CD which is out on Monday. Love!
Sigh. I missed the last Placebo concert in May because it was the day my aunts left for Spain and I had shit to do. Placebo is also playing Manchester in December, but unfortunately I'm in Cancun when they're doing their UK tour dates. Green Day is totally sold out. So I'm not happy about that. But I've been dying to see Muse for EVER (I've been dying to see Green Day too but whatever, and I've already seen Placebo twice, even though they are AMAZING live and I need to see them again) so that's perked me right up.
I'm hoping Marilyn Manson will announce another tour soon, what with the release of his new album The High End Of Low (which is pretty good by the way. My favourite track is We're From America, which is fucking hilarious in a sarcastically offensive kind of way)
Have a great one darlings!
Vee xox
Thursday, 30 April 2009
Failure v2.0
So, I hate myself.
Someone at work brought me a plate of various munchies... Everyone at work is always pressuring people to fucking eat something, everyone in my team is a god damn pig, I swear. And I caved and had a couple of things from the plate. Mostly since I thought "it'll be okay to have a couple things, it's not going to kill you or anything".
Sigh. I just did a tally of the few things I did eat, and the total is 655kcals. Including the yogurt this morning, that brings my total up to 757 calories.
I'm not a purge-er but I have to admit I did just try to get rid of some of it.. I know not everything came back out but at least some of it did so the damage won't be quite as high.
I hate purging but when I found out there were THAT many calories I couldn't help myself. Ugh.
I didn't even eat that much but there is more calories in that shit than I thought there would be. Fucking supermarket brands and their calorie-badness.
So, I'm sorry you guys. But I'm going to do a full tea-and-water fast tomorrow to make up for it. No braised lettuce for me tonight. =[
Someone at work brought me a plate of various munchies... Everyone at work is always pressuring people to fucking eat something, everyone in my team is a god damn pig, I swear. And I caved and had a couple of things from the plate. Mostly since I thought "it'll be okay to have a couple things, it's not going to kill you or anything".
Sigh. I just did a tally of the few things I did eat, and the total is 655kcals. Including the yogurt this morning, that brings my total up to 757 calories.
I'm not a purge-er but I have to admit I did just try to get rid of some of it.. I know not everything came back out but at least some of it did so the damage won't be quite as high.
I hate purging but when I found out there were THAT many calories I couldn't help myself. Ugh.
I didn't even eat that much but there is more calories in that shit than I thought there would be. Fucking supermarket brands and their calorie-badness.
So, I'm sorry you guys. But I'm going to do a full tea-and-water fast tomorrow to make up for it. No braised lettuce for me tonight. =[
Tuesday, 20 January 2009
007: Day 4 of ABC. Also: the WORST DAY EVER
It is not even 10am yet, but already this is the worst day ever. Today could not have been a worse day had God himself decided to smite me in my sleep and I woke up this morning dead and decaying all over my beautiful bedding.
Last night, exhausted and bored, I went to bed around 9:30. Maybe the hunger was getting to me? Although to be perfectly honest, I didn’t actually feel hungry, I felt just fine. I was proud of the fact that I wasn’t hungry. But I was tired and went to bed early. I woke up, wiiide awake, convinced that it would of course only be a few minutes before my alarm was due to go off, because with me that is always the way. A glance at my phone, however, proved it was only 2:22 in the morning. Score! I could go back to sleep for a whole four and a half extra hours. Of course, I was WIDE awake and it took ages to fall back to sleep… Next thing I knew, I was 7:00, my alarm was going off and I had to get up. And now I was exhausted.
I got ready for work, gathering all the extra crap I needed. I even remembered to get my fruit salad, peach, and 10cal pot of jell-o (it’s not Jell-O brand because England doesn’t have Jell-O, but I feel weird calling the stuff “Jelly”) AND a spoon to eat it with! I was dropped off at my bus stop. And waited.
And waited.
Then I saw my bus up the street, about the turn onto the roundabout. I walked to the edge of the road to wait for it to come down. And it didn’t. It went straight across the roundabout. I was pissed. I went back and waited.
And waited.
And then I saw another bus. And once again, it went straight across the roundabout. By this time, I had been waiting at the bus stop for over half an hour. Everyone got on the next bus, after asking me what was up with my bus, and I said I had no idea. In the end I called the local Traveline, and asked the operator. She said they didn’t have anything on their system about the bus route being revised, and gave me the number to call my bus company’s office direct. So I did, and he told me that yes, it wasn’t coming down this way due to road works on the area where it comes back out onto the main road again. Wonderful. It would have been nice for someone to TELL US that. I told the man on the phone this and he said that there should have been notices on the bus.
Well I wouldn’t know would I? I’m not ON the fucking bus! I also told him that nobody I’d spoke to had seen any notices (and for the record, when I finally DID get on the bus? NO NOTICES)
So, fine, I decided to walk up to the next stop. Of course, since the bus was bypassing no fewer than six stops, the next available stop was a ways up the road, and up a hill. And let me make this clear to you all: I am wearing heels. Sometimes, I wear flat shoes or sneakers on the way to work and change into heels when I get there, but today, I figured I had a ride to the bus stop and I had a ride home at the end of the day, so I should be okay in the heels. However, the hill I had to walk up to get to the bus stop, it was covered in ice, and I nearly let my face hit the pavement about eighty times on the way. My leg muscles hurt from tensing up so much to try to keep my balance.
I was almost at the stop when TWO buses came in a row, but of course I could hardly run to catch them, not without breaking my face and/or ass. So I walked, and had to wait AGES for the next one to come. I didn’t get into work until nearly 9:30, a full two hours after I originally got to the bus stop, and more than an hour after I usually get into work (8:20 or thereabouts). NOT HAPPY.
And might I add that my fucking hairband is hurting my head and irritating the living hell right out of me.
Okay, now that that rant is over with, I’ll get back on topic. Sigh.
This morning, I weighed exactly 195.0lbs. Down 6.4lbs since last Wednesday yay!
Today I’ve already eaten my apple (cut into chunks and shaken in a sandwich bag with a teaspoon of splenda and some ground cinnamon), and I’m doing okay. I’ve also got:
A fruit salad: 30 raspberries and 30 blueberries: 53
One small peach: 31
One medium banana: 105
One medium orange: 62
One Jello cup: 10
Whatever I don’t eat at work today I’m going to take home and have with a 100kcal yogurt.
It’s Day 4 of ABC and that makes it a 400 calorie day. My total with all of the above comes to: 361
Which leaves me open for maybe a small salad with some nonfat vinaigrette or something later if I’m really hungry, and still under 400 calories.
So excited, this shouldn’t be a problem. That seems like a ton of fruit.
<3
Stay Beautiful, Ladies
Xxxxx
Vee x
PS, I’m also out of Splenda so have to wander up to Tesco at lunch to buy some. Ughh.
Last night, exhausted and bored, I went to bed around 9:30. Maybe the hunger was getting to me? Although to be perfectly honest, I didn’t actually feel hungry, I felt just fine. I was proud of the fact that I wasn’t hungry. But I was tired and went to bed early. I woke up, wiiide awake, convinced that it would of course only be a few minutes before my alarm was due to go off, because with me that is always the way. A glance at my phone, however, proved it was only 2:22 in the morning. Score! I could go back to sleep for a whole four and a half extra hours. Of course, I was WIDE awake and it took ages to fall back to sleep… Next thing I knew, I was 7:00, my alarm was going off and I had to get up. And now I was exhausted.
I got ready for work, gathering all the extra crap I needed. I even remembered to get my fruit salad, peach, and 10cal pot of jell-o (it’s not Jell-O brand because England doesn’t have Jell-O, but I feel weird calling the stuff “Jelly”) AND a spoon to eat it with! I was dropped off at my bus stop. And waited.
And waited.
Then I saw my bus up the street, about the turn onto the roundabout. I walked to the edge of the road to wait for it to come down. And it didn’t. It went straight across the roundabout. I was pissed. I went back and waited.
And waited.
And then I saw another bus. And once again, it went straight across the roundabout. By this time, I had been waiting at the bus stop for over half an hour. Everyone got on the next bus, after asking me what was up with my bus, and I said I had no idea. In the end I called the local Traveline, and asked the operator. She said they didn’t have anything on their system about the bus route being revised, and gave me the number to call my bus company’s office direct. So I did, and he told me that yes, it wasn’t coming down this way due to road works on the area where it comes back out onto the main road again. Wonderful. It would have been nice for someone to TELL US that. I told the man on the phone this and he said that there should have been notices on the bus.
Well I wouldn’t know would I? I’m not ON the fucking bus! I also told him that nobody I’d spoke to had seen any notices (and for the record, when I finally DID get on the bus? NO NOTICES)
So, fine, I decided to walk up to the next stop. Of course, since the bus was bypassing no fewer than six stops, the next available stop was a ways up the road, and up a hill. And let me make this clear to you all: I am wearing heels. Sometimes, I wear flat shoes or sneakers on the way to work and change into heels when I get there, but today, I figured I had a ride to the bus stop and I had a ride home at the end of the day, so I should be okay in the heels. However, the hill I had to walk up to get to the bus stop, it was covered in ice, and I nearly let my face hit the pavement about eighty times on the way. My leg muscles hurt from tensing up so much to try to keep my balance.
I was almost at the stop when TWO buses came in a row, but of course I could hardly run to catch them, not without breaking my face and/or ass. So I walked, and had to wait AGES for the next one to come. I didn’t get into work until nearly 9:30, a full two hours after I originally got to the bus stop, and more than an hour after I usually get into work (8:20 or thereabouts). NOT HAPPY.
And might I add that my fucking hairband is hurting my head and irritating the living hell right out of me.
Okay, now that that rant is over with, I’ll get back on topic. Sigh.
This morning, I weighed exactly 195.0lbs. Down 6.4lbs since last Wednesday yay!
Today I’ve already eaten my apple (cut into chunks and shaken in a sandwich bag with a teaspoon of splenda and some ground cinnamon), and I’m doing okay. I’ve also got:
A fruit salad: 30 raspberries and 30 blueberries: 53
One small peach: 31
One medium banana: 105
One medium orange: 62
One Jello cup: 10
Whatever I don’t eat at work today I’m going to take home and have with a 100kcal yogurt.
It’s Day 4 of ABC and that makes it a 400 calorie day. My total with all of the above comes to: 361
Which leaves me open for maybe a small salad with some nonfat vinaigrette or something later if I’m really hungry, and still under 400 calories.
So excited, this shouldn’t be a problem. That seems like a ton of fruit.
<3
Stay Beautiful, Ladies
Xxxxx
Vee x
PS, I’m also out of Splenda so have to wander up to Tesco at lunch to buy some. Ughh.
Monday, 19 January 2009
006: I Guess It Could Be Worse
So Today is Day Six of my Restricting and shizz.
I apologise in advance, I'm not feeling very wordy and creative today so this entry will probably suck hard.
Yesterday was not a good day. First of all I woke up with a monster headache, though not quite a migraine, and it didn't go away until I went to bed after midnight. Bad times. I knew in advance that I was going to have to eat the so-yummy-but-so-fatty Sausage Bake that one of my housemates was making. I also thought it would be a good idea to eat a load of Salt and Vinegar Pringles at the cinema. So all in all I was expecting to gain today to a certain extent.
So, it could have been worse: I woke up today weighing only 0.8lbs heavier than yesterday. As of this morning, I weighed 196.4, which is still five whole pounds lighter than when I started this last Wednesday. So I can't really complain.
Today was a better day.
I slept in way later than I should have, but I had today off work, so it didn't really matter. I had about five frozen grapes first thing, and that was it until tonight. My aunt and I went to buy our cats some new collars, and then went to visit my granny. LUCKILY she was in a MUCH better mood than she has been recently, so it wasn't painful to be there today.
I had a salad tonight. And by salad I mean three lettuce leaves torn up and with 50mls of fat free vinaigrette. With a couple sliced mushrooms on top but I didn't eat all of them. Then I had a Weight Watchers' Chocolate Mousse dessert thing, so in total my calorie intake for the day was only 155.
Not bad at all, right? =]
So tomorrow I'm getting back into the ABC diet, and I'll be on Day 4 - a 400 calorie day. I've already got my food planned out up to 360 - lots of fruit and a 100cal yogurt. I'm confident that I'll be able to stick to it tomorrow. Fruit is kind of my saviour when it comes to this restricting... I can eat a load of raspberries, feel sated, and still only have had like 30cals.
Anyway, I should head off because I need to get ready for work tomorrow morning, and I'm way tired - although I have more energy than I should considering I've had less than 200cals today.
Keep strong ladies, and stay beautiful.
xxxx
Vee
I apologise in advance, I'm not feeling very wordy and creative today so this entry will probably suck hard.
Yesterday was not a good day. First of all I woke up with a monster headache, though not quite a migraine, and it didn't go away until I went to bed after midnight. Bad times. I knew in advance that I was going to have to eat the so-yummy-but-so-fatty Sausage Bake that one of my housemates was making. I also thought it would be a good idea to eat a load of Salt and Vinegar Pringles at the cinema. So all in all I was expecting to gain today to a certain extent.
So, it could have been worse: I woke up today weighing only 0.8lbs heavier than yesterday. As of this morning, I weighed 196.4, which is still five whole pounds lighter than when I started this last Wednesday. So I can't really complain.
Today was a better day.
I slept in way later than I should have, but I had today off work, so it didn't really matter. I had about five frozen grapes first thing, and that was it until tonight. My aunt and I went to buy our cats some new collars, and then went to visit my granny. LUCKILY she was in a MUCH better mood than she has been recently, so it wasn't painful to be there today.
I had a salad tonight. And by salad I mean three lettuce leaves torn up and with 50mls of fat free vinaigrette. With a couple sliced mushrooms on top but I didn't eat all of them. Then I had a Weight Watchers' Chocolate Mousse dessert thing, so in total my calorie intake for the day was only 155.
Not bad at all, right? =]
So tomorrow I'm getting back into the ABC diet, and I'll be on Day 4 - a 400 calorie day. I've already got my food planned out up to 360 - lots of fruit and a 100cal yogurt. I'm confident that I'll be able to stick to it tomorrow. Fruit is kind of my saviour when it comes to this restricting... I can eat a load of raspberries, feel sated, and still only have had like 30cals.
Anyway, I should head off because I need to get ready for work tomorrow morning, and I'm way tired - although I have more energy than I should considering I've had less than 200cals today.
Keep strong ladies, and stay beautiful.
xxxx
Vee
Friday, 16 January 2009
003: Day One, 500. And some ranting about piercings
Okay, so, today is Day One of the ABC diet. This means I have a daily allocation of 500 calories. It doesn’t seem like it’s going to be all that hard to be honest. When I was dieting before I was keeping below 600cals a day anyway, and at one point was having to find extra things to eat to hit the 600 mark. So this shouldn’t be TOO hard. Although I think it might be difficult when I hit the 100 and 200 calorie days. And the fast days, I can’t remember the last time I went a whole day without eating anything. But the feeling of accomplishment is amazing.
Yesterday I was thinking about starting the ABC diet, as I was under 500 cals by the time I got home from work. But I’m still feeling sick and don’t think I could have made it through the night without stuffing my face if I didn’t have SOMEthing to eat when I got home last night. So, I admit, I had some leftover KFC chicken. Call me fat if you want to, but I still LOST 2.2lbs! That’s right. I think it’s because I still managed to keep my calorie count down yesterday in spite of the chicken (small pieces are the way to go, good thing the small wings are my favourite pieces).
So that means I have managed to lose a total of 3.2lbs. As of this morning I am 198.2, down from 201.4 on Wednesday morning. Not a bad start, especially with the goddamned KFC chicken up in there. I’m still gargantuan but at least it’s a start, and 3lbs in 2 days is nothing to sniff at, especially not when you’re my size and every FRACTION of a pound counts in a big, big way. That’s why I count the .2, and am glad that my scale registers in tenths of a pound.
After the food, I went straight to bed. So I was in bed by 8:30, probably asleep by 9. I think I caught an earring on my pillow in my sleep because I vaguely remember being woken up in the middle of the night and when I put my head down, my second piercing in my right earlobe was screaming at me. I had to keep adjusting so that it didn’t sting, but then finally fell back asleep. It’s a bit raw and sore today but not too bad thank god. Lord knows I’ve already had more than my share of piercing related issues.
Like, the first time I got them pierced, as a small kid. And a family member decided to change the piercing studs and put in these plastic ones before they had healed properly, closed them too tight, and the skin started growing over the backs and got super infected. They healed over. Then I was 12 and my aunt paid to get them done for cheap at the local market. Why did either of us think that would be a good idea? They wound up getting infected, and the woman had pierced them crooked so I took them out and let them heal after two weeks. Then, when I was eighteen I got them re-pierced again so I could wear earrings for grad. No word of a lie, it took at least six MONTHS for my piercings to heal up, rather than the suggested six WEEKS. By graduation time I had only had them pierced for around two or three weeks. I knew they weren’t healed but by god I was going to wear these super nice earrings to my grad banquet (we didn’t have a “prom” so I guess it was our school’s shitty substitute). So, I coated the posts with Neosporin to promote good healing, went out, and when I got home it took a good twenty minutes to get one of my piercing studs back in. It was so painful, and because they weren’t healed and were possibly a bit infected, it was all gooshy and hard to find the exit hole in the back. Ughghh.
Then a year later I got a second set pierced in my earlobes. They took ages to heal but I put some gold earrings in and just didn’t change them, so they weren’t so traumatizing. But the same day I got the upper cartilage of my ear pierced, and that was a nightmare. I wound up with a little ball of infection next to the ring on the front side of the ear, and it took months to heal. In fact, it never healed until all of the infection had been forcibly squeezed out, which let me tell you, hurt like a motherfucker. We had to keep squeezing that thing every night for weeks and then coating the ring and my ear with pure alcohol spray (bactine was doing nothing) before it finally healed.
I kind of want to get my tongue pierced but the ordeals I’ve had so far have put me way off. Infection of the mouth doesn’t sound like a fun time. I totally thought my tattoo would react badly, but that healed perfectly fine in a couple of weeks. Go figure.
Anyway, that got ridiculously off-topic. Onto my ABCs!
This morning, I was starving. My meal allocation for today is as follows:
Fat Free Yogurt (100)
Light Cereal Bar (70)
Weight Watcher’s Frozen Meal (295)
This altogether totals 465 calories, which means I’m still under.
But, I got to work, made some green tea (3 cals per cup total with one and a half teaspoons of splenda) and some strawberry-raspberry-loganberry tea (5 cals per cup total with one and a half teaspoons of splenda. The tea itself is 2 cals/cup). I’ve had two cups of each so far, and have one of each on my desk waiting to be drunk. Drank? I’m not sure what the proper syntax is in this situation. But anyway. That means I’ve had sixteen calories so far, with eight more to go, which is 24 calories in those six cups.
And I’m not hungry anymore. It’s looking more and more likely that I won’t have that yogurt and cereal bar. We’ll see how the afternoon goes because I know I can eat those two without feeling guilty over it. But if I’m not hungry I’m not going to eat them just for the sake of it.
Right now I’m not hungry at all. Even thinking about my chicken curry and rice tonight isn’t making my mouth water, which it usually does. All I can think about is going shopping to get a lot of fruit and low-cal food. I’m going to see if I can find some of those 10cal instant soup mixes that I’ve heard people talking about. They’d be perfect for lunches at work.
So today is a 500 day, as is tomorrow. Sunday, however, is a fast day. So I need to remember to bring my box of green tea home tonight so I have something warm to sip that has flavour. Wish me luck!
Stay Beautiful!
Vee xxx
ps: cross-posting this to my other blog because I can’t think of any way to write all that in a different way, or something different to update with =P
Yesterday I was thinking about starting the ABC diet, as I was under 500 cals by the time I got home from work. But I’m still feeling sick and don’t think I could have made it through the night without stuffing my face if I didn’t have SOMEthing to eat when I got home last night. So, I admit, I had some leftover KFC chicken. Call me fat if you want to, but I still LOST 2.2lbs! That’s right. I think it’s because I still managed to keep my calorie count down yesterday in spite of the chicken (small pieces are the way to go, good thing the small wings are my favourite pieces).
So that means I have managed to lose a total of 3.2lbs. As of this morning I am 198.2, down from 201.4 on Wednesday morning. Not a bad start, especially with the goddamned KFC chicken up in there. I’m still gargantuan but at least it’s a start, and 3lbs in 2 days is nothing to sniff at, especially not when you’re my size and every FRACTION of a pound counts in a big, big way. That’s why I count the .2, and am glad that my scale registers in tenths of a pound.
After the food, I went straight to bed. So I was in bed by 8:30, probably asleep by 9. I think I caught an earring on my pillow in my sleep because I vaguely remember being woken up in the middle of the night and when I put my head down, my second piercing in my right earlobe was screaming at me. I had to keep adjusting so that it didn’t sting, but then finally fell back asleep. It’s a bit raw and sore today but not too bad thank god. Lord knows I’ve already had more than my share of piercing related issues.
Like, the first time I got them pierced, as a small kid. And a family member decided to change the piercing studs and put in these plastic ones before they had healed properly, closed them too tight, and the skin started growing over the backs and got super infected. They healed over. Then I was 12 and my aunt paid to get them done for cheap at the local market. Why did either of us think that would be a good idea? They wound up getting infected, and the woman had pierced them crooked so I took them out and let them heal after two weeks. Then, when I was eighteen I got them re-pierced again so I could wear earrings for grad. No word of a lie, it took at least six MONTHS for my piercings to heal up, rather than the suggested six WEEKS. By graduation time I had only had them pierced for around two or three weeks. I knew they weren’t healed but by god I was going to wear these super nice earrings to my grad banquet (we didn’t have a “prom” so I guess it was our school’s shitty substitute). So, I coated the posts with Neosporin to promote good healing, went out, and when I got home it took a good twenty minutes to get one of my piercing studs back in. It was so painful, and because they weren’t healed and were possibly a bit infected, it was all gooshy and hard to find the exit hole in the back. Ughghh.
Then a year later I got a second set pierced in my earlobes. They took ages to heal but I put some gold earrings in and just didn’t change them, so they weren’t so traumatizing. But the same day I got the upper cartilage of my ear pierced, and that was a nightmare. I wound up with a little ball of infection next to the ring on the front side of the ear, and it took months to heal. In fact, it never healed until all of the infection had been forcibly squeezed out, which let me tell you, hurt like a motherfucker. We had to keep squeezing that thing every night for weeks and then coating the ring and my ear with pure alcohol spray (bactine was doing nothing) before it finally healed.
I kind of want to get my tongue pierced but the ordeals I’ve had so far have put me way off. Infection of the mouth doesn’t sound like a fun time. I totally thought my tattoo would react badly, but that healed perfectly fine in a couple of weeks. Go figure.
Anyway, that got ridiculously off-topic. Onto my ABCs!
This morning, I was starving. My meal allocation for today is as follows:
Fat Free Yogurt (100)
Light Cereal Bar (70)
Weight Watcher’s Frozen Meal (295)
This altogether totals 465 calories, which means I’m still under.
But, I got to work, made some green tea (3 cals per cup total with one and a half teaspoons of splenda) and some strawberry-raspberry-loganberry tea (5 cals per cup total with one and a half teaspoons of splenda. The tea itself is 2 cals/cup). I’ve had two cups of each so far, and have one of each on my desk waiting to be drunk. Drank? I’m not sure what the proper syntax is in this situation. But anyway. That means I’ve had sixteen calories so far, with eight more to go, which is 24 calories in those six cups.
And I’m not hungry anymore. It’s looking more and more likely that I won’t have that yogurt and cereal bar. We’ll see how the afternoon goes because I know I can eat those two without feeling guilty over it. But if I’m not hungry I’m not going to eat them just for the sake of it.
Right now I’m not hungry at all. Even thinking about my chicken curry and rice tonight isn’t making my mouth water, which it usually does. All I can think about is going shopping to get a lot of fruit and low-cal food. I’m going to see if I can find some of those 10cal instant soup mixes that I’ve heard people talking about. They’d be perfect for lunches at work.
So today is a 500 day, as is tomorrow. Sunday, however, is a fast day. So I need to remember to bring my box of green tea home tonight so I have something warm to sip that has flavour. Wish me luck!
Stay Beautiful!
Vee xxx
ps: cross-posting this to my other blog because I can’t think of any way to write all that in a different way, or something different to update with =P
Thursday, 15 January 2009
002: The Calm *After* The Storm
Yesterday turned out to be a bad day. Things were going very swimmingly until I left work. I managed to get until 5pm on just the slimfast breakfast bar and half a slimfast shake. I was feeling great and was totally proud of myself. But when I stepped in the door last night, I was greeted by KFC. I didn’t even want it, but it was there, and my roommates had bought extra specifically so I could have some. One of my housemates is a relative as well, so it’s difficult to just say “oh hey thanks but no”. So I thought I’d have to push this back ANOTHER DAY. I was not happy. I said "my diet was supposed to start today" but they were like "It can wait one more day!" (They know I'm trying to lose weight, nothing beyond that)
I didn’t overeat or anything but I still felt sick. All day I was loving the hollow, empty feeling in my stomach, and then suddenly having a proper hot meal in there made me feel nauseous. It was even worse that I had a too-hot bath and once I lay down in the hot water, the feeling in my stomach just got worse for some reason. I have to admit I thought for a bit about purging, but I’m paranoid and obsessive about my teeth, so I didn’t. But I was still half-hoping the sick feeling in my stomach would do the job for me anyway.
I went to bed early last night because I was exhausted. I’m tired a lot, sometimes I wonder if I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or an under-functioning thyroid or something. I just have no energy 80% of the time. So I went to bed early, and slept straight through until my alarm went off. And I still feel like I haven’t slept at all.The good news though, is that even with the whole crap with the KFC yesterday (probably around 900 ADDITIONAL calories, ugh), I still dropped 1lb last night. So thank christ for that!
I discovered this ABC group on livejournal: http://community.livejournal.com/anabootcamp - and once I’ve adjusted to a much lower daily calorie intake, I’m going to try the 50 day ABC plan and see how that goes. It looks promising! I’ll keep you updated.
Okay onto today’s tally! I’ve just had breakfast, and it’s not yet 10 in the morning. I’m so tired!
Breakfast:
Two-thirds of a pot of 100cal fat-free yogurt: estimating 75cals as I dunno the exact portions
Two mini sausage rolls (131 cals each): 262cals (ugh)
Lunch:
Remaining half of yesterday’s Slim-fast shake: 106cals
Dinner:Weight Watcher’s Chicken Curry: 295cals
Snack: (potential)
Mini muffin: 125cals
If I stick to that plan AND have the muffin, my overall total is 863cals. That still feels so high. I really need to stock up on fruit so I won’t be tempted to snack on pastries that the people at work bring in.Anyway, I need to get some stuff done, so I’ll update later/tomorrow.
Vee
I didn’t overeat or anything but I still felt sick. All day I was loving the hollow, empty feeling in my stomach, and then suddenly having a proper hot meal in there made me feel nauseous. It was even worse that I had a too-hot bath and once I lay down in the hot water, the feeling in my stomach just got worse for some reason. I have to admit I thought for a bit about purging, but I’m paranoid and obsessive about my teeth, so I didn’t. But I was still half-hoping the sick feeling in my stomach would do the job for me anyway.
I went to bed early last night because I was exhausted. I’m tired a lot, sometimes I wonder if I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or an under-functioning thyroid or something. I just have no energy 80% of the time. So I went to bed early, and slept straight through until my alarm went off. And I still feel like I haven’t slept at all.The good news though, is that even with the whole crap with the KFC yesterday (probably around 900 ADDITIONAL calories, ugh), I still dropped 1lb last night. So thank christ for that!
I discovered this ABC group on livejournal: http://community.livejournal.com/anabootcamp - and once I’ve adjusted to a much lower daily calorie intake, I’m going to try the 50 day ABC plan and see how that goes. It looks promising! I’ll keep you updated.
Okay onto today’s tally! I’ve just had breakfast, and it’s not yet 10 in the morning. I’m so tired!
Breakfast:
Two-thirds of a pot of 100cal fat-free yogurt: estimating 75cals as I dunno the exact portions
Two mini sausage rolls (131 cals each): 262cals (ugh)
Lunch:
Remaining half of yesterday’s Slim-fast shake: 106cals
Dinner:Weight Watcher’s Chicken Curry: 295cals
Snack: (potential)
Mini muffin: 125cals
If I stick to that plan AND have the muffin, my overall total is 863cals. That still feels so high. I really need to stock up on fruit so I won’t be tempted to snack on pastries that the people at work bring in.Anyway, I need to get some stuff done, so I’ll update later/tomorrow.
Vee
Wednesday, 14 January 2009
001: Fighting Food To Find Trascendence
As yesterday was my last night of freedom, I allowed myself a treat. I convinced myself that I was only eating it so as not to waste food, and so that it would not tempt me later in the week. Which I, at the same time, realized was an utter load of bull. But, it was a final treat, I suppose.Yesterday’s consumption, minus a calorie-count for the evening because I am too physically exhausted to do the calculations necessary to figure out how many calories were in my food.
Breakfast:
Slim-Fast snack bar – 206
Lunch:
Slim-Fast Shake (Coffee) – 210
Snack:
Fat Free Yogurt - 100
Dinner:
Mashed potatoes
½ Sachet stuffing
Gravy
Later:
Doritos nachos
Melted Red Leicester cheese
It was going well in the morning, but as the mashed potatoes weren’t prepared by me I have no idea how much butter/margarine or milk was put into them. The stuffing isn’t very high in calories so it probably wasn’t TOO bad a meal. But I know those nachos pushed me over the edge. Red Leicester cheese is very high in calories and fat. I’m not going to punish myself for eating them, because I chose to. It isn’t like I snapped and binged until I felt sick. It was day one, which became Day The Last.
Today is day one.
Because I need to stock up on some fruit and have none in the house, my breakfast apple has been replaced with another Slim-Fast Bar, at 206 calories. I’d have been much happier with 100cals but I’m already starving and I need to start slow. I’ll have half of my slim-fast shake for lunch, leaving half for an afternoon snack if I need one. I brought a yogurt with me, but I might save that for dessert.
Dinner tonight is a frozen chicken curry meal at around 295 calories. If I can stick to this, including the yogurt, my calorie intake for the day will be around 813. Which is low for more purposes, and I should probably drop maybe half a pound by tomorrow morning – depending on how my metabolism is working, it’s been super messed up the last couple of months, even eating pretty normally.
My goal right now is to keep under 1,000 calories a day consistently and see how that works. I know that it can be really easy to keep your calorie count down. For me previously, the key was to eat a lot of fruit. You can eat as many blueberries and raspberries as it takes to feel full, and they’re still only one calorie apiece. My apple-and-cinnamon for breakfast used to last me until beyond the usual lunch time, and the perk was that eating an apple for breakfast every day, I was more awake and had more energy than at almost any other point in my life. It’s true what they say: eating an apple will definitely wake you up better than drinking a cup of coffee.
Don’t get me wrong, though, I love coffee. And the bonus is that it doubles as an appetite suppressant. The problem is that I like my coffee sweet and can’t drink it black. But the solution to that issue is: Splenda. Just as sweet as if using actual sugar, but there are only about two calories per teaspoon of the stuff. Anyway, at one point I was having to find things to eat to get my calorie count up. I wasn’t hungry, even on around 400 calories in a day, but I didn’t want my metabolism to shut down, so I’d have to find a couple hundred extra calories to boost the numbers a little bit. That was the most frustrating part.
But anyway, I’m getting off topic. Here is where we begin.
Vee
ps: I suppose as a starting point I should provide a weigh-in. It pains me to say that as of this morning I was 201.4lbs. My lightest was 130lbs, but I let things get WILDLY, horrifically out of control. I feel physically sick just thinking about it. Just looking at myself. Don't lecture me, because I already know.
Right now, that 130 mark is my goal. Beyond that depends on how this goes, but I would like to be a fair bit under that. I don't yet have a goal date though, because I don't know how fast this is going to come off. Goals will be set when I've got a time scale to compare.
Breakfast:
Slim-Fast snack bar – 206
Lunch:
Slim-Fast Shake (Coffee) – 210
Snack:
Fat Free Yogurt - 100
Dinner:
Mashed potatoes
½ Sachet stuffing
Gravy
Later:
Doritos nachos
Melted Red Leicester cheese
It was going well in the morning, but as the mashed potatoes weren’t prepared by me I have no idea how much butter/margarine or milk was put into them. The stuffing isn’t very high in calories so it probably wasn’t TOO bad a meal. But I know those nachos pushed me over the edge. Red Leicester cheese is very high in calories and fat. I’m not going to punish myself for eating them, because I chose to. It isn’t like I snapped and binged until I felt sick. It was day one, which became Day The Last.
Today is day one.
Because I need to stock up on some fruit and have none in the house, my breakfast apple has been replaced with another Slim-Fast Bar, at 206 calories. I’d have been much happier with 100cals but I’m already starving and I need to start slow. I’ll have half of my slim-fast shake for lunch, leaving half for an afternoon snack if I need one. I brought a yogurt with me, but I might save that for dessert.
Dinner tonight is a frozen chicken curry meal at around 295 calories. If I can stick to this, including the yogurt, my calorie intake for the day will be around 813. Which is low for more purposes, and I should probably drop maybe half a pound by tomorrow morning – depending on how my metabolism is working, it’s been super messed up the last couple of months, even eating pretty normally.
My goal right now is to keep under 1,000 calories a day consistently and see how that works. I know that it can be really easy to keep your calorie count down. For me previously, the key was to eat a lot of fruit. You can eat as many blueberries and raspberries as it takes to feel full, and they’re still only one calorie apiece. My apple-and-cinnamon for breakfast used to last me until beyond the usual lunch time, and the perk was that eating an apple for breakfast every day, I was more awake and had more energy than at almost any other point in my life. It’s true what they say: eating an apple will definitely wake you up better than drinking a cup of coffee.
Don’t get me wrong, though, I love coffee. And the bonus is that it doubles as an appetite suppressant. The problem is that I like my coffee sweet and can’t drink it black. But the solution to that issue is: Splenda. Just as sweet as if using actual sugar, but there are only about two calories per teaspoon of the stuff. Anyway, at one point I was having to find things to eat to get my calorie count up. I wasn’t hungry, even on around 400 calories in a day, but I didn’t want my metabolism to shut down, so I’d have to find a couple hundred extra calories to boost the numbers a little bit. That was the most frustrating part.
But anyway, I’m getting off topic. Here is where we begin.
Vee
ps: I suppose as a starting point I should provide a weigh-in. It pains me to say that as of this morning I was 201.4lbs. My lightest was 130lbs, but I let things get WILDLY, horrifically out of control. I feel physically sick just thinking about it. Just looking at myself. Don't lecture me, because I already know.
Right now, that 130 mark is my goal. Beyond that depends on how this goes, but I would like to be a fair bit under that. I don't yet have a goal date though, because I don't know how fast this is going to come off. Goals will be set when I've got a time scale to compare.
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