Thursday, 15 January 2009

002: The Calm *After* The Storm

Yesterday turned out to be a bad day. Things were going very swimmingly until I left work. I managed to get until 5pm on just the slimfast breakfast bar and half a slimfast shake. I was feeling great and was totally proud of myself. But when I stepped in the door last night, I was greeted by KFC. I didn’t even want it, but it was there, and my roommates had bought extra specifically so I could have some. One of my housemates is a relative as well, so it’s difficult to just say “oh hey thanks but no”. So I thought I’d have to push this back ANOTHER DAY. I was not happy. I said "my diet was supposed to start today" but they were like "It can wait one more day!" (They know I'm trying to lose weight, nothing beyond that)

I didn’t overeat or anything but I still felt sick. All day I was loving the hollow, empty feeling in my stomach, and then suddenly having a proper hot meal in there made me feel nauseous. It was even worse that I had a too-hot bath and once I lay down in the hot water, the feeling in my stomach just got worse for some reason. I have to admit I thought for a bit about purging, but I’m paranoid and obsessive about my teeth, so I didn’t. But I was still half-hoping the sick feeling in my stomach would do the job for me anyway.

I went to bed early last night because I was exhausted. I’m tired a lot, sometimes I wonder if I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or an under-functioning thyroid or something. I just have no energy 80% of the time. So I went to bed early, and slept straight through until my alarm went off. And I still feel like I haven’t slept at all.The good news though, is that even with the whole crap with the KFC yesterday (probably around 900 ADDITIONAL calories, ugh), I still dropped 1lb last night. So thank christ for that!

I discovered this ABC group on livejournal: - and once I’ve adjusted to a much lower daily calorie intake, I’m going to try the 50 day ABC plan and see how that goes. It looks promising! I’ll keep you updated.

Okay onto today’s tally! I’ve just had breakfast, and it’s not yet 10 in the morning. I’m so tired!

Two-thirds of a pot of 100cal fat-free yogurt: estimating 75cals as I dunno the exact portions
Two mini sausage rolls (131 cals each): 262cals (ugh)

Remaining half of yesterday’s Slim-fast shake: 106cals
Dinner:Weight Watcher’s Chicken Curry: 295cals

Snack: (potential)
Mini muffin: 125cals

If I stick to that plan AND have the muffin, my overall total is 863cals. That still feels so high. I really need to stock up on fruit so I won’t be tempted to snack on pastries that the people at work bring in.Anyway, I need to get some stuff done, so I’ll update later/tomorrow.


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