Tuesday, 27 January 2009

014: Back on the Bandwagon

It’s been a bad few days.

The past week or so, I’ve had a fairly bad flu, I haven’t felt this horrible in quite a long time. I haven’t been to work since last Wednesday, and still don’t feel up to par today. But, today I had to go back to work because to stay off any longer I would need a sick note from my doctor, and I can’t get into my doctor. Even to get antibiotics for my sinus infection, so I'm dosing up on decongestants to see if that will clear them out. Ugh.

I made the (probably stupid) decision to come off ABC for a few days to try to get past this. I’ve still been restricting and staying well under 700 calories a day, but I figured I needed to get some more nutrients than I have been. On the weekend I also went and bought some multivitamins, and some more calcium supplements, as I know I’ll need them to proceed with ABC and restricting – I already have a low immune system and I don’t want to wind up making myself sick again because I’m not getting vitamins and crap.

Anyway, I don’t know why I bothered. I woke up Wednesday morning at around 194lbs. After being horrifically sick on Wednesday, Thursday morning I woke up feeling exhausted and wonderfully weak and down to 191.5lbs, give or take a tenth or so. Then I managed to gain back a pound and a half over the weekend. At first I couldn’t understand why I had gained a little, when I’ve been eating under 700 calories a day. But then, on the other hand, I’ve been doing nothing but laying in bed feeling miserable for the past several days, so it’s probably the utter lack of activity that did it.

As of today I’m jumping back into ABC on Day 6 (a 200 day). I still feel like an absolute ball of shit, but if I’m not getting any better I don’t see the point in pulling away from ABC at all. I was going to restart the whole thing but I don’t want to have the 500 days right now. So the 200 day today is perfect. I have no food at all at work to eat, so I’ll be having nothing but green tea and water until I get home. And then I might have either part of a 300 calorie frozen meal, or a 200 calorie slimfast, and go to bed early.

Being so sick over the weekend, and my aunts being busy decorating, I didn’t get a chance to move the treadmill into my bedroom, so hopefully this coming weekend we’ll be able to. Either way, once I’m not sick, I’m going to start hitting the gym again, and to do some working out in my bedroom every night. I LOVE the burning feeling that those leg-lift crunches give me <3

In other news, my aunts are on the anti-diet right now. One got a referral for gastric bypass surgery yesterday and should get an appointment to meet with a surgeon in the main in the next month or so. My aunt figured out she needs to gain 16lbs to reach the target BMI of 50 to qualify. So all weekend they’ve been eating total crap, my aunt is eating WELL over 3,000 calories a day (After work last night she had at least 3,000 in a single sitting), trying to put on the weight by this Friday. Watching them devour total junk all the time makes me feel sick. And only strengthens my resolve.

I’m determined to lose my own weight before they do, and without any damned surgery to do it.

I have the willpower that they lack.

I miss that wonderful weak and shaky feeling. I’m hoping that now that I’m back on ABC I can get it back.

Keep chasing the dream!

Also, thanks for your comments and support. I truly appreciate it =]

Vee xx

7 comments:

Jenna said...

Feel better, Vee! Take care of yourself. Your "diet" will still be there when you get over your flu.

Reese said...

That strikes me as really sad that your aunt is eating to gain weight for surgery. I admire you so much for chosing the other path! Stay strong and your hard work will pay off so much! :)

AnaBullshit said...

oh, sooo sorry to hear you're sick!! I too admire you fully for choosing the safe but more difficult path! you can do it lady, hang in there!!!!! :)

AnaBullshit said...

by the way...love your icon pic, the lips, gorgeous photo!!!

Finnikki said...

I 2nd Reese on that. And watching somebody eat to gain for bypass surgery would probably trigger me the other way as well...I don't blame you a bit....
I read your whole blog and I think you've done amazingly well. You have willpower I haven't been able to summon up within myself in years... ABC is some serious restriction, and stopping it while you're ill is probably for the best even if you put a couple pounds back on. You'll be back on track in no time, I know it!

ANA said...

I love your blog. Keep it up! Stay strong, stay skinny. =) xoxo

Vee said...

Thanks for your comments you guys, I really appreciate all your support =]

The fact that my aunts are overeating on purpose makes me feel sick... which is good, because I know I can lose weight without resorting to things like gastric bypass surgery. Our house is so full of junk food, but at least it's not "mine".

I'm feeling so much better about things now that I'm back in the deep end.

Oh, and the icon is just a quick photomanipulation of a Jessica Biel photo in photoshop =] Thanks! xxx