A Christmas Miracle?

Somehow I'm down 1.5lbs from yesterday morning.

Of course, I'm still suffering from Upset Stomach Everytime I Eat Or Drink Anything. And my antibiotics are making me feel so nauseous that it would be so so so easy to purge if I wanted to... Aside from the fact that it would render my antibiotics completely useless, I fucking hate purging and have no desire to do so anyway. But still.

So, Christmas roundup!

I got exactly the bracelet I thought I was from my aunts! I would take photos to post here right now, but I'm downloading like eighteen JPop music videos and trying to rip the audio from them so my computer is RIDICULOUSLY slow so it's not happening right this minute! But, it's a silver one with like Mayan faces on each of the circular silver links on it. Not the kind of bracelet I'm after (sigh, again the Tiffany's one. But I think I may have found a knockoff online for $15+shipping!) but it's really nice and a perfect souvenir. Since, I didn't bother to buy souvenirs for myself while I was in Mexico. I bought makeup and perfume and a ring and earrings but nothing that can be considered a souvenir. But I'm digressing, again.

A pair of pretty silver earrings to match the ring/earrings I bought before we left. They have tanzanite, cubic zirconia, and the same blue-green opal that the other jewellery has.

A REALLY soft but very thin (like cotton-t-shirt thin but it feels like fucking cashmere, even though it isn't) scarf from Debenhams from my great aunt. Too cold to switch out my wool scarf right now but it's very nice

A set of mini body-bath products. Lavender and Rose scented shower gels and a lavender body lotion. A white showercap with hot pink polkadots. This was from my aunt and I facepalm'd when I opened it. It's an inside joke that goes back to me as a child, when my grandparents used to have a ton of shower caps around from their various hotel-stays between here and England. And for some reason I used to always wear these shower caps in the bath. And then wondered why my hair still got wet when I laid down in the water. Yeah.

A "magic!" facecloth thing that is in the shape of Nemo (yes, THAT nemo) and when you put it into water it transforms into a cute cloth, I guess.

A box of oreos (which were binged upon since yesterday's entry, I will admit. Luckily, England's "packet of Oreos" isn't a huge thing with eight hundred cookies in it. Instead we're talking a dozen, which is still shitty. But fuck, I'm still down a pound and a half).

Uh, I think that's it. It was a small Christmas this year, but it was still nice. Of course everyone broke the rules and instead of "Secret Santa" and just buying one £30 for one person each, we all bought something for everyone. My granny had my aunt's partner for her SS and she bought me the earrings. I had my granny and bought my aunts both a little Lush box of bath products. My aunt had me and bought my granny and J something. Etc. So, it was a surprise on Christmas morning lol, each of us thought we were the only ones breaking the rules.

Right now, I'm going to continue getting these mp3s ripped so I can finally update my iPod - might I add that I ripped my new GaGa CD the day before I went to Mexico and transferred Four CDs of music to my iPod before we left, but it didn't actually update. So pissed. Now that I'm back it's like Bad Romance overload! And I'm also updating my Chococat 2010 Diary from Wal-Mart in Mexico, to include the ABC calorie limits starting on the 1st of Jan. I'm actually really looking forward to this. If you read my blog from the beginning, you'll see that I did ABC before, way back last year. And I had some decent success with it. Even with taking a week off to get over illness and a couple family meals out, I still managed to drop several pounds in a few weeks. So I'm excited to do it. It feels right, and it's a good way to kick my ass back into shape from the get-go. I'm still restricting as far as I can at the moment, but not as far as I *should* which is why I'm looking forward to having some structure to adhere to =]

Incidentally, if any of you are into Japanese Pop Music - or even if you're not - you should listen to "Hangry & Angry - Angelia." I just heard it for the first time about an hour ago and it was instant love, I've got it stuck hard in my head right now. Try as I might I just can't stop listening to it right now. In fact, I love it so much I'm going to make it easy for you and embed the video here for y'all =]

PS: Am I the only one who is totally fucking in love with Harajuku fashion? I swear to god, when I'm skinny and fabulous I want to move to Japan and be a Harajuku style icon. And maybe teach English on the side so I can AFFORD said fashions.

Trying not to be Disappointed

This isn't a food or ED related post.

Instead, it's about music I love. Or, more accurately, music I WANT very badly to love, but just can't.

My taste in music is both pretty varied, and pretty… non expansive. It’s varied because I like a variety of genres and songs from a lot of different artists. But in general, I tend to stick to a few “favourite” bands. I don’t listen to the radio or watch much, if any, music television. So, when I’m on the prowl for new music, my first stop is always to see if my favourite bands have announced a new album yet. If not, I find myself hanging and bored and a little sad. I ask people for music suggestions, but generally speaking, they never hit that nerve, y’know?

This year has been a good year for music – for me, I mean. Many of my favourite artists and bands have released new albums this year. Marilyn Manson (a good album although some of the tracks are pretty "samey"). Placebo (not quite as good as Meds was, but that's a damn hard album to follow up. It's still probably their second-best album, which is a feat considering that they lost an integral member of the band since the last album). Green Day (a perfect follow-up to American Idiot). Billy Talent (more to come). Muse has one out this fall, and AFI and 30 Seconds To Mars have announced that they’re currently working on their next albums, to be released this year or 2010.

But, I find myself struggling not to be disappointed. It’s a certain kind of loyalty that makes you want to TRY to like something. But the truth is, I’m not sure that I do.

In this case, I’m talking about Billy Talent. They’re a Canadian-Based ska-punk-alternative-what-the-fuck-ever band, and their first two albums were amazing. I could happily put those two albums on a playlist alone on shuffle repeat, listen to it for days at a time and not get bored. So when I heard Billy Talent III was out this summer, I leapt to preorder it excitedly.

I picked it up from my grandparents’ house this weekend, and finally ripped the tracks onto my ipod this weekend. I listened to it for the first time yesterday, and from the first chord, my heart sank.

Billy Talent has a certain “sound”. And that sound is, admittedly, up-tempo squealiness, with a very distinct guitar sound. It's a sound you either love or completely detest. And that’s what I love about them. The first album was amazing. The second album could have easily been a continuation of the first, or tracks that wouldn’t fit on their first release but which were written at the same time – they have the same sound, the same style, the same FEEL. And I love them both dearly. And largely the Canadian general public agrees - they're very popular back in my homeland.

The third album was, however, made to “appeal to the American market.”

Had I known that before I bought the CD, it would have made me wary. Now, after having listened to it, I’m saddened. Apparently appealing to the American music market means changing everything and becoming an entirely new band. A band should be what a band is, and should not alter themselves to try to suit a target market. Some bands grow and progress and as a result their sound changes (early AFI was very much shouty punk music, but the songs on their last two albums are entirely different, but still amazing. In fact, I prefer them). But Billy Talent have deeply disappointed their fans this time around – and indeed, they’ve turned their backs on those of us who LIKE their signature sound.

The new album is toned down by a lot. There are only a couple subtle inklings of the strong, unique guitar sound that their first two albums are known for. The voice is less squealy – but also less powerful. It feels like the lead singer is trying to be something he’s not (which I believe he is) and the toned-down songs and the reigned-in vocals just don’t suit. It doesn’t feel right. Even had I not been a Billy Talent before, had this been their first album release, that voice does not suit that kind of music. It’s less punk-ska-alt-whatever and more generic-rock-with-pop-influences.

It just feels… wrong. In a way I can’t even describe.

I don't know how else to articulate this, but it feels like they're trying to take themselves more seriously as a rock band - when it's entirely unnecessary and the punk-alt-etc band they were before was much loved and filled a niche very nicely. I want my ADHD sugar-high strong guitar, squealy-voiced band back =[

Computer Camp Love

I'm sorry, this is ridiculously off-topic but I have this song stuck in my head.

The best line?

"Tell me more, did you get in her pants?
She's not that kind of a girl, booger!
Why, does she have a penis?"

Second favourite is probably:

"Not with that dirty tramp!
She's not a tramp, her name is Judy!
That's a nice name."

Ahaha.

Love on a stick, baby.

Datarock - Computer Camp Love

Pic Not Related

I need to stop using lame random internet phrases completely out of context.

What I mean is, this entry is unrelated to the usual subject matter of my blog. Although technically I guess my blog isn't about any one thing in particular, just me... which is predominantly my struggles with food. But I'm digressing. Getting off topic on an off topic post, how much do I rock?

So basically I want to know what your favourite music is! Your favourite bands or artists, your favourite fad-songs of the moment and the old faves you just can't turn away from and keep going back to time and again. I also want your guilty pleasures! What are you embarassed to admit to secretly loving? Or what otherwise unbearable music has wormed its way into your heart?

I ask because, well, music is something I'm passionate about, even though I'm kind of a musictard. I generally have no idea what's out and "hip" now because I don't watch much (if any) TV, and I never listen to the radio. So the music I listen to can tend to just be the same stuff, or new stuff by the same artists. Unless somebody recommends something awesome to me.

So, my favourite bands (along with some of my favourite songs by them), not necessarily in any particular order:

Muse
--Muscle Museum, Map of the Problematique, Stockholm Syndrome

Placebo
--Protege Moi, Nancy Boy, Lady of the Flowers, Post Blue, Infra-Red. They also re-recorded their single Without You I'm Nothing with David Bowie. Bowie wrote a harmony to go with the song and they recorded it together and it's fucking amazing.

AFI (A Fire Inside)
--Summer Shudder, This Time Imperfect, Silver And Cold, Girl's Not Grey, Love Like Winter, Miss Murder

Blaqk Audio
--Stiff Kittens, Snuff on Digital, Bitter For Sweet, (the whole album is phenomenal)

Billy Talent
--Nothing To Lose, Devil In A Midnight Mass, Surrender, Pins And Needles

Death Cab For Cutie
--Summer Skin, Movie Script Ending, Title And Registration, Tiny Vessels

Le Tigre
--DECEPTACON (one of my favourite songs ever), TKO, Hot Topic, Fake French, I'm So Excited (cover of the "classic" song)

Marilyn Manson
--The Nobodies, Heart-Shaped Glasses, We're From America, Leave A Scar, Sweet Dreams, This Is The New Shit

Green Day
--Good Riddance, American Idiot, Hitchin' A Ride, Brain Stew, Boulevard Of Broken Dreams, Wake Me Up When September Ends

Martin Grech
--Open Heart Zoo (if you're a fan of Tim Burton movie soundtracks / Danny Elfman's music, listen to this), Here It Comes, Erosion & Regeneration

The Yeah Yeah Yeahs
--Maps, Gold Lion, Black Tongue, Tick

Michael Jackson (I was obsessed with him when I was a kid and it wouldn't be fair not to include him in this list. Let's face it, he might be a total whack-job, but the man is fucking legendary)

My Guilty Pleasures:

Savage Garden - Another band I was obsessed with in my teens. In fact, I'm pretty sure their second album Affirmation was the first CD I ever bought (purchased at the same time as I bought the Sailor Moon Series 1 Soundtrack, haha)

J-Pop - Yeah. Sugary Japanese pop music aimed primarily at kids. I can't help it, it's catchy and it's cute, and they're all gorgeous and skinny. Particular groups of note: Mini Moni, W (two members of Mini Moni), Yaguchi Mari (Ex-Leader of Mini Moni). I swear to god. Youtube any song by Mini Moni and you will be ready to have me committed. My current favourite is the song "Samidare Koi Uta" by the band W (Double You). Honestly, youtube it right now. I'm already wincing in anticipation.

Hanson - Not old-school MmmBop Hanson (I bet I've just ruined your day by even mentioning that song). A few years ago they came out with an album called This Time Around, where they were trying to put off a more rock-and-roll persona and taking themselves very seriously. At the time I was in either Junior High or High School and I was in LOVE with Taylor Hanson. I still get a couple of the songs stuck in my head every so often now. Songs of note are A Song To Sing and Save Me

Danny Elfman - You might not know that you know who Danny Elfman is, but if you've ever seen a movie by Tim Burton (such as Edward Scissorhands or Sweeney Todd) you've heard his work. Danny Elfman is a composer who does the soundtracks to I think EVERY Tim Burton movie (Yes, including Charlie and the Chocolate Factory). He also did the theme song for The Simpsons. Yep. Anyway, I'm completely in love with his style. It's so eerie and dark and beautiful at the same time. His music completely MADE The Nightmare Before Christmas, in my opinion. This isn't really a GUILTY pleasure since it's general knowledge that I love Danny Elfman and Tim Burton, but it didn't really fit under Favourite Bands, either. I've got the Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack on my iPod and listened to the whole thing on the bus this morning. And it put such a smile on my face, I bet the other people thought I was listening to prank phone calls or animal porn.

This has also reminded me that I'll be putting a playlist around somewhere. I don't really have any thinspo songs like a lot of you girls do, so it'll just be music that is close to my heart and that I want to share with you =].

Fuck

Last night I received the final bit of motivation I needed to get back on track fully.

After work I met J at the old house so we could pick up a few more small things to take back to the new house. I had to get the hanger pole things and the last 2 drawers for my wardrobe. I put a couple extra small things in it and bent over to pick them up off the floor - and the fucking seam in my work trousers split.

Embarassing and pissed-off-making.

I wouldn't say they fit any tighter than they did a week, two weeks, three weeks ago or anything. And it might be wear and tear since I've been wearing them constantly (well not CONSTANTLY, I'm not a grodey girl, but a lot of wearing, washing, and ironing) for the past year and a half.

But it was still horrible and made me feel ridiculously fat assed.

So, that was that.

Today my meal plan is as follows:

1/2 Strawberry SlimFast shake for Breakfast
1/2 Strawberry SlimFast shake for Lunch

At home, my aunt bought a small pizza to cook for dinner and the best before date is today. If she cooks it, I'll have a piece and cut my losses and not have anything else. If she forgets then yay we can throw them away and I can have a yogurt instead =]

If I can do the yogurt, it will get my total daily calorie intake down to 312. Tomorrow will be probably nothing at work at all, and then a 350-kcal frozen weight watcher's meal at home. Right now we don't have a lot of food at home, which is good and bad. Good because yay not much food! Bad because there's no "healthy" food. Our freezer has some frozen meals in it, which aren't too bad, since they're all under 400 calories per serving. And if that's all I have in a day, then that's just fine. But I would rather have fruit and yogurt. I might buy some stuff to make lettuce soup this week too, becaue at 35 calories a bowl you can not go wrong.

The only problem being that our stove is apparently totally fucked. The oven has two settings that work: Off and Hot As The Pits Of Hell (also known to the layman as "full blast") and the electric hob works randomly or not at all. Sigh.

I'd like to try some kind of new diet. Like a raw food diet. The problem is, I know I'd get bored. I'm kind of tempted to "Go Vegan" because it gives me more sway with the family if anyone questions what I'm eating but... the truth is, I probably couldn't. Cheese is something I don't eat very often, but it's still there for an occasional treat.

Although, that's probably my problem right there. I need to not bank on having that occasional treat.

Anyway, tonight will be a busy night. I need to get my ass in gear and unpack. I put it off last night because I had a killer fucking headache and I had to wash-dry-straighten my hair which took forever. It's looking daunting because half the shit in my room isn't even mine. The gaming chair, the box of DVDs, the DVD player, all belong in my aunt's room or the Office. But the office still has boxes in it. Fuck it, I'm moving that shit out anyway, I need it out of my room. Because the boxes that I need to unpack are in front of all the drawers that I need to unpack them INTO. God.

Did I mention I fucking hate moving?

But I need to get unpacked. Not just because I don't know where anything is (seriously, I can't remember which box has my makeup removers and cotton balls in them, so I had to buy some new makeup remover but forgot cotton balls. And toilet paper leaves bits of its fibres everywhere and gets in your eyes and it sucks. Ugh), but so I can get the treadmill out. I'm looking forward to it.

And I'm kind of looking forward to the possibility of HAVING to walk a mile to and from my bus stop in the morning. Next Wednesday J is having her operation and will be off work for I think 8 weeks, so she won't be driving me to the stop in the morning. My aunt rarely works early shifts, so I won't be able to grab a ride with her either. So that leaves me only the option of walking.

Pros:
Exercise! YAAAAAY!

Cons:
Having to do it in work clothes and shoes
Rain
Nowhere to shower afterward if I get sweaty

I mean, I realize it's only a mile but I'd rather speedwalk and get my heartrate up than spend two hours on a leisurely stroll. Plus my handbag is huge and fucking heavy so it's like speedwalking with a lead weight over one shoulder hehe.

But I digress. When I get home tonight I must also remember to burn those Zumba DVDs so I can get my aerobics on.

Wow. Isn't it funny how a blog entry can totally change your perspective? When I started I was feeling all depressed and pissed off. Now I'm excited about upcoming exercise woot!

Oh also, more excitedness!

Muse is playing in my city in November! <3 I found out this morning and emailed my good buddy S and I'm booking our tickets Friday morning as soon as they go on sale. TOTALLY STOKED! Also preordered their new CD. And Placebo's new CD which is out on Monday. Love!

Sigh. I missed the last Placebo concert in May because it was the day my aunts left for Spain and I had shit to do. Placebo is also playing Manchester in December, but unfortunately I'm in Cancun when they're doing their UK tour dates. Green Day is totally sold out. So I'm not happy about that. But I've been dying to see Muse for EVER (I've been dying to see Green Day too but whatever, and I've already seen Placebo twice, even though they are AMAZING live and I need to see them again) so that's perked me right up.

I'm hoping Marilyn Manson will announce another tour soon, what with the release of his new album The High End Of Low (which is pretty good by the way. My favourite track is We're From America, which is fucking hilarious in a sarcastically offensive kind of way)

Have a great one darlings!
Vee xox