Wednesday 29 April 2009

The Good, The Bad, and the Downright Fucking Ugly

The Good: I lost today!

The Bad: It was only 0.4lbs =/

The Downright Fucking Ugly: Me. My huge ass, my thighs, my huge stomach, my flabby EVERYTHING. Ugh.

So, the smoothies really fucked me up. The Braised Lettuce I had last night was really really good and low-calorie, so I can't blame it on that. I didn't think the smoothies would be so bad until I thought to myself that the smoothies are pure fruit. So it's like gorging on a huge fruit bowl, but without being full halfway through because it's so condensed. I am not happy with myself.

Yes, I know that a loss is a loss and that I should be happy. Instead, I'm pissed off with myself. I don't feel like I've earned the sushi that I bought for today, I don't deserve it. But I'm going to have some of it anyway because it's dated today and I can not afford to waste money right now - I spent £4. Which may not sound like much, but that's nearly half of what it costs me to get to work in a week. That money could have bought me half a pan eyeshadow from MAC instead. Or paid toward my taxi fare when I meet up with a friend in a couple of weeks for dinner and drinks for my birthday. Sigh.

So yeah, my euphoria is long gone. Today is Sushi. Maybe braised lettuce at home but I'm not banking on it. Tomorrow is going to be a fast day, and I'm going to do my saltwater flush when I get home from work.

Oh, and apparently with this whole Swine Flu pandemic apparently it's kinda rife in Mexico and people aren't supposed to go there. People at work just now were telling me "it should be okay by December when you go, but if not it'll probably be cancelled."

I better damn well get my fucking money back if it is. I've already paid a £170 deposit, and the total balance of £1,300 needs to be paid by September. If shit isn't sorted out, I want my money back. I'll spend it in Canada instead. Grr.

That's all for now, I'll write more later.

Vee xox

1 comment:

Jess said...

Dec. is a long ways away I'm sure it will be fine by then...don't worry :)