Thursday, 30 April 2009

Failure

It's not what you think, I promise. I've been really good all this week and I tell you what, I am damn proud of myself right now.

Monday, I had nothing but a handful of Doritos.

Tuesday I had nothing but some Braised Lettuce and two smoothies (damn you, fruit-filled awesomeness)

Wednesday I had some sushi at lunch and nothing else.

Today I've had a yogurt for breakfast and will probably make braised lettuce again tonight, if I have the energy after work and hitting up Tesco.

So, yay. So far this week I'm down 4lbs. Monday morning I was 198, and this morning I am 194, so I'm down another 0.6 from yesterday. Which could be better, but I'll take it over a gain any fucking day.

The failure in question, is the saltwater flush.

For those of you who don't know, it's essentially a way to cleanse your digestive system and get rid of all the "crap" up in there. Pun not intended, but funny nonetheless.

What you need is 1 litre (4 cups) of warm water, and 2 teaspoons of sea salt. Do not use iodized table salt because it will not work, and will probably just be absorbed by your body and cause severe water retention and bloating!

You drink it down as fast as you can, and in anywhere from 15mins to 3 hours you will... how to put this delicately. Experience a strong "urge" and "expel" the contents of your... entire bowels, I guess.

My friend K gave me a helpful hint: if you add some lemon juice to the water, it helps with the taste. It's still uber salty but not as horrifyingly so. So, that's what I did.

I drank it down in two 500ml glasses of saltwater-and-lemon-juice, and chugged that shit down. And it was horrible. I like fairly salty food so it probably wasn't as bad for me as it is for some others, but it was still horrible having to down a litre of water all at once. My stomach didn't want to take it, and I felt a bit sick for a while.

So I sat and waited for the magic to happen.

And it didn't. I was not happy.

I woke up this morning not feeling really bloated, but very dehydrated. I think the salt water had pulled the water out of my system (can we say "seeking a state of homeostasis through osmosis" anyone? God, I'm such a fucking science nerd) and since I did not drink enough to begin with yesterday during the day, and then had nothing else to drink after said salty water, I woke up feeling a little hungover today.

Which is another fun trivia fact. One of the primary causes for the feeling of being hungover after you've had a lot to drink, is due to dehydration. Alcohol is a diruetic and dehydrates you, which in turn makes your body very fucking unhappy.

I'm just full of random bs today. In my defense, I just spent the last half hour compiling some Science questions for a quiz we're doing at work in about an hour, so I've got my brainiac head on. Luckily it doesn't happen often =P

Fuck. One of the chicks in my team is going on maternity leave after today, and for her last day she's just emailed us all to say she's brought some food in for everyone.

But anyway. That is all. I'm just irritated that the saltwater flush didn't work, so I'm going to have to endure it again in a couple of days. Rockin' (not).

I'll write more later, I've got to get some work done.

As always, thanks for your comments ladies, you all rock hardcore.

Love you!
Vee xox

4 comments:

Jess said...

There's been a few other girls on here who have tried the saltwater flush and had the same thing happen. Hopefully one of them will respond. I know one girl put on like 4 pds of water weight...she was NOT happy to say the least!

Vee said...

I think I'd die if I put on that much water weight overnight, ugh. I was pretty worried about my morning weigh-in today so thank god it was down.

My friend said that it helps to drink some laxative tea the night before a flush, to help break stuff up... hers worked a couple of days ago but not yesterday when she didn't have tea before, and then worked today when she did.

I dunno if the tea IS the difference though, it might just be hit-or-miss. I'm going to try again, but give it a few days for my body to balance back out a little bit. I Still feel messed up. xx

Lulu said...

It didnt work the first time for me either! I was super pissed and felt terrible the next day just like you. So the second time I did it I added another 500mls of water and teaspoon of salt. Drinking that third pint of salty water was fucking horrendous but it worked.
At first i thought i'd failed again because it took a couple of hours before the er, effect kicked in but then it worked great... Give it another shot, its totally worth it! my stomach was so flat afterwards. Good luck.

Vee said...

Thanks for the tip Lulu, I'll give it a shot =] Going to give it a try tonight, if I can wrangle some bathroom time out of my aunts (we're always fighting for who gets a bath and who has to have quick showers sigh - and I'd hate to be stuck after downing the saltwater because my aunt decided she needs an hour long bubble bath haha.

xxx