(037) 188.2lbs - Start of a bad day

So all in all, yesterday was a good day. I burned 400 calories at the gym, and stuck to my 400 day (maybe went over 20-50, I’m not 100% sure). I didn’t have anything big to eat when I got home, just a 99 calorie bag of Special K Mini Breaks, which was insanely yummy by the way. They taste a bit like chocolate Teddy Grahams to me. Mmm. Must not buy teddy grahams…

Anyway. Guy From The Gym wasn’t there last night, which is okay because I could concentrate more on my hour-and-a-half of cardio instead of slowing down to talk. At the same time, it made it feel dragged out – those twenty minutes that we were talking was the fastest that time ever went on a cross-trainer! I also got told off for reading a book on the cross-trainer. Apparently it’s against health and safety. Cuz I might fall off or something if I’m using one hand to hold the book. Puh-leeze. I do that EVERY time I go to the gym, why is this time suddenly dangerous?

… He probably saw me hit the other guy with the cross-trainer and figured I’m a liability. Can’t say I blame him.

But yeah. Just as I was coming out of the gym, the other guy called me. I don’t think I’ve mentioned him before, because there wasn’t a whole lot going on. My aunts and their best friends, wanted me to get with this other guy (Who I will call D for Dude), thought we’d be perfect for one another. They’d showed him my photos on facebook (even though I have actually met him once… though he had a girlfriend at the time lawl) and apparently he was quite interested. We’ve been texting the past couple of weeks but that’s about it. Apparently my aunt’s best friend had a talk with him and he’d said that he doesn’t want to get into a relationship that gets really serious and then have to leave – he’s trying to join the Marines. So, I don’t know.

But then last night as I was coming out of the gym he called me to chat, and we talked while I walked to the bus stop / waited for my bus. Then just as I went to bed (at 10pm I might add, I was so exhausted) he called again and we talked for a few minutes. I finally managed to pass out, even though I woke up about eight times during the night and couldn’t get comfortable again. When I woke up this morning (Fifteen minutes before my effing alarm agh!) I saw he’d sent me a text just before 11 last night asking if I was still up, but I missed it.

So, I dunno. We shall see. No big news, but… yeah.

Today, though, started off badly. I was convinced I’d be down at least a pound today. But when I hopped on the scale, it said 188.4lbs. That is only 0.2lbs lower than yesterday. I’m SO disappointed and it put me in such a bad mood. On top of that, my fucking bedroom light burnt out when I tried to turn it on, so I got to put makeup on by the subtle glow of my bedside table lamp this morning. Sigh.

Now I’m at work and I’m exhausted. I ache everywhere – which is a good thing because it means I didn’t go too easy on myself at the gym, I love achiness. Even my ass hurts. Especially my ass hurts.

Sigh. I’m so disappointed today. And I’m sad because a good buddy of mine (we'll call her K, she's in the same situation as me, so to speak) has gained today and I can tell from her texts how upset and pissed off she is. I wish I could make her feel better. But at the same time, I’ve LOST a fraction of a pound, and I’m still upset and pissed off. So I’d be a hypocrite to try and tell her to be happy and it’s no big deal. It is a big deal, to people like us. When I gained over the weekend I really could have had a breakdown. Sigh. So, if you read this, I love you doll. And I have every faith in your ability to shift it back off in a day or two.

So… that’s all from me for now. I’m not going to the gym tonight because I need to wash my gym stuff and I think my ass really needs a day off. I’m so tired so hopefully I’ll get an early night tonight. Back to the gym tomorrow if my things are dry in time, if not I’m hitting it hard on Monday (Won’t get a chance over the weekend, I really need a bike of a cross-trainer in my room =/) I’ll get one of my yoga DVDs on and do some of that over the weekend, too.

Were they always that big??

That blog title sounds a little dirty, doesn't it? Especially when I expand upon it to make "Since when was six inches SO HUGE?!"

Ehehehe. If only what you were all thinking was true. The truth is, I haven't had sex in over a year. BIG SURPRISE. But anyway, that's SO not what I'm talking about. The minute my dry spell is over I will be dishing details, but until then this blog post is about...

Subway.

I'm on a 400 day on the ABC plan, and I decided I wanted to treat myself to something yummy for lunch. Even though, after I went and bought it and was walking back to work, I wasn't even hungry. I've been craving chips and gravy (or even better, a poutine with yummy cheese curd melting all over), but I happen to know that there is no way I could fit it in. The chips in our canteen are all deep fried and horrible, and the gravy is greasy and comprised of like 96% animal fat.

Ew.

So, instead I went to Subway. The sub I had in total came out to... 350 calories, give or take. Didn't finish all the bread =].

Anyway, it was weird for me. All I "ate" yesterday was 200mls of chicken-broth-water worth a whole seventeen calories, so I thought I'd be physically STARVING and would never be able to sate that hunger. But I wasn't hungry as I began eating, and now I feel fuller than I have been in a long time. I remember a time when I could eat a footlong meatball sub with cheese and lots of lettuce, have a cookie, and sometimes STILL be hungry.

To that end, at least this past month of ABC (on and off as it was for the first couple of weeks) has accomplished one thing: Reducing my appetite. I mean, in total I've now lost 12.8lbs since January 14th, which is a feat in and of itself, especially considering the random gains and plateaus at the end of last month. But I hate feeling full, and if eating normal portions is going to make me feel like this, well, it's just more incentive to restrict harder.

The weird things is, I haven't even gone over for the day. After I get home from the gym I'm having my 19 calorie broth, so I'll still be grossing low for the day. But I still feel really full. In retrospect I kind of wish I'd gone for a sushi pack from tesco. BUT then I'd just wind up having a larger frozen meal after the gym, and I always feel sick if I eat a lot after working out. So I guess it's for the best. Plus I'm having my "larger meal" at lunchtime and have more time to burn it off before bedtime.

God, I ramble a lot, don't I?

Anyway. I just wanted to share those random thoughts, but now I need to get some more work done. I'm leaving the office in three hours so I need to get SOMEthing done.

Stay beautiful and think thin

Vee xoxox

ps: I wonder if that guy will be at the gym again tonight...? =]

Oh. My. God.

I met a guy at the gym.

I know. People always ask me if I met any cute guys at the gym. And I'm always like "Don't be fucking stupid, that kind of thing never happens for REAL. That's movies!"

But it happened! And he was cute.

The story is kind of retarded though. Basically I accidentally assaulted him with a cross-trainer.

I walked over to a cross-trainer and put my water bottle on it, then noticed there was some paper towel stuff that someone before me had left, so I went to throw it away. When I came back, this guy was leaning against the front of the treadmill, so I hopped on and said "Excuse me?" ... Well, the arm that I was expecting to go backward went forward and nailed him in the back of the shoulder. Sigh.

So I was all embarassed and apologised PROFUSELY but he was okay with it and laughed it off. So I started working the cross-trainer and he started talking to me. Apparently he works there and was on a break so he'd come into the cardio room to watch Cricket for a bit. So not only did I assault a cute guy, I assaulted the STAFF. We wound up talking for twenty minutes and then he had to go downstairs for pool-duty and asked if I'd come talk to him. Unfortunately, I had to leave to catch my bus. If I missed it, I'd have no way to get home =/

But he did ask if I'm going tomorrow and I told him I am sooo I might see him tomorrow. How exciting!

Then he asked if I've had a fitness plan made (my gym does a free assessment and plan for you when you join) and I said no, so he asked if I wanted one and I was like "Um no it's ok thanks, I probably wouldn't stick to it anyway." But in reality I was thinking "I don't want the cute, super fit, sporty guy to see how super ridiculously UNfit the fat chick who hit him with the cross-trainer is."

Man, I'm doing SO WELL today too. I only burned 300 calories at the gym, but while I was on the cross trainer I was talking to him, and I can't work hard and talk at the same time. When I got home, before I climbed into a hot bath, I weighed myself. And the scale said 189.6. ONE EIGHT NINE POINT SIX. That's almost two full pounds lighter than this morning! And USUALLY I'm around two pounds heavier at night than I am the next morning. So this has me WAY excited. I'd been hoping to hit 190 tomorrow morning, so if I'm back into the 180s I will be SO RIDICULOUSLY THRILLED.

Wow, lots of caps haha.

The best part is, I've done AMAZINGLY well today. It was a 200 day on ABC but I've been trying to restrict harder to make up for Valentine's Day Weekend Doomsday. I posted my "plan" earlier, but I did even better. I've had nothing since my 17 calorie broth at lunchtime =] GO ME.

I honestly think this is the least I've ever "eaten" in one day. Zero solid food (even though my aunts, who are both going for gastric bypass surgery, sigh, went to the fish and chip shop and asked me if I wanted something. I so could have had chips and gravy. But I said no. Also, I had no money. SO THIS IS GOOD. I need to not carry money on me, obviously. Although, I would have said no anyway, I could've borrowed it off my aunt if I wanted to.) and only 17 calories. Even on a fast day I tried to do with my first try at ABC, I think I had 40 calories.

YAY. SO psyched right now, you have no idea.