Oh GOD Make it stop

Seriously, my abdomen/general stomach area hurts so much right now. What is going on? I feel like my insides are trying to explode out.

Also, to address a comment from Pi (HI by the way =]), I don't *think* it's PMS related. Although I never know anymore.

Too much info warning =]

See, I don't get periods. It's not ED-related or anything, it's just because of the birth control pill I'm on (I mean, as of today I haven't had sex in NINETEEN MONTHS, I shit you not, but I still take the pill a: just in case and b: no periods!). But, I think I still get the bloating and the random water weight gain and the hormonal emotional basketcaseism.

The thing is, because I haven't had a period since October 2006 (and I use the term period in that instance VERY loosely), I have no idea when my usual cycle would be. Over the past three years I've completely lost track, even though my cycle used to be exactly 4 weeks, like clockwork. So, emotional craziness and bloating and weight gain is entirely random, and I never quite know if it's due to my cycle or just because I'm a psycho.

This pain isn't cramps though. Honestly, and this is gross, but I think it's mostly down to constipation and severe wind all up in there and grumbling around. I wish I could just poke myself with a pin and deflate (and then be skinny and gorgeous forever, Amen).

I'm rambling as usual =]

Bleh, I feel like shit. It's abating VERY slightly right now but about an hour or so ago it felt like I was dying. Like that scene from Alien when the thing RIPS out of the dude's stomach. That's me, only about ten minutes earlier.

Food wise it's gone okay. I'm being strong strong strong! One of the temps in my team is leaving on Monday to go work in our call centre in a permanent position, and since it's her last day she brought in some nibbles (read: sweet things) and all I had was a mini-muffin and some manner of tiny cake thing. Total couldn't be more than 200 calories, if that. Yay!

It helps that my bloatey horribleness is making me wary of consuming anything at all for fear of making it worse. AND, if it keeps up (or, to be fair, even if it doesn't) I have an excuse to shower, straighten my hair, and go to bed without having to eat anything when I get home, even if my aunt is in foodnazi mode =]

Seven days til I go to Canada too, I'm starting to get excited now ^-^

That Bloated Feeling

Bleh. Today, I'm in a pretty good mood, but unfortunately I feel physically shit.

Last night was not a failure but not a success. After work I had to meet my aunts at the old house because some people were coming to look around and we had a few last minute things to do (like get rid of huge spiders in the bathtub. *cringe* Needless to say, I didn't do that job at ALL). Afterward they decided they were going to try some Indian food, and we went straight to the place on the way home from the house. By this point it was after 7 and I couldn't talk my way out. So I got some garlic naan bread and had it with a little korma sauce, but skipped the rice and didn't eat the chicken. I wound up throwing most of it away, actually, so I counted it as a demi-success (I fucking love that stuff and usually tend to binge until I feel physically ill and can't move).

But, this morning I feel ridiculously bloated, very constipated (sorry for the too-much-info there) and just all around crap. My abdomen feels inflated and sore and I just want to curl up in bed and sleep it off. Instead, I get to sick at work for another 5 hours. Fail!

But like I said, it could be worse. The only reason I feel crappy is because of that. I feel kind of ill with it as well, which sucks but whatever.

Also, the scale today registered a GAIN of 1.8lbs. However, due to the insane bloating and the fact that I did not overdo it yesterday makes me think that this is not an accurate representation of how much I weigh, so I'm going to weigh in properly tomorrow morning.

Today I'm going to be very good. Nothing at work, and then as little as I can get away with at home. Luckily tonight is another "I need to lock myself in my room for a couple hours to do my hair" night (I can't wash my hair EVERY day or it gets horribly dry, and also I can't be bothered straightening for an hour EVERY SINGLE DAY OH MY GOD ARE YOU INSANE!) so I might be able to get away with it.

Tomorrow I'm going to get my hair cut and my highlights redone as they've grown out quite a bit. I should have gone about 2-3 weeks ago but I want it fresh for when I go away =]

Hope you're all having a good day!

Stay strong,
Vee xox