Update

Whew.

So, I've come to a decision kind of.

I'm definitely going to apply for the Japanese Studies course here. But I'm going to wait until the next application period instead of doing it now. The deadline for this period is in around two weeks, which doesn't give me time to get everything in line and get references from old teachers from my high school back in Canada. And I'd like to be able to go to an open day and speak to people in the department, and won't have the option in the next couple weeks.

However, the timing kind of coincides nicely and gives me some options.

My good buddy S told me before I went away that her department is hiring at the moment. Not on a permanent basis, for a one year contract with the company. It's actually the same company I work for now, but in a different department and a different building. Instead of pensions, which I work in now, she works in Health Care. But anyway. If I apply for one of those jobs and get it, it gives me a year to work and try to save up as much money as I can for when I won't be in full time employment. This should take me up to at least next February - which is when my sister's wedding is over in Canada. Since I'll be working / finishing employment, I don't have to worry about taking two weeks away from school to go over there for it. Then the school term runs from October I believe. Which gives me 7 months, during which time I'm sure I can find something else, or the company may extend my contract for an additional 6 months.

(Note: The comany we work for works that way. When I stopped temping and applied to work for the company directly, I was given a one year contract. Which was then extended by six months and then another six months before I was finally given a permanent contract with the company. The same happened with S when she moved to the HC branch. She was given a four month contract, which was extended for another four months and then they offered her a permanent position. A year to eighteen months is all I need to fill, provided I get into University next year)

This is still something I definitely want to persue, and I'll continue using my own digital aids to try to learn the language as I can in my own time. But the year gives me more time to prepare, more time to save up money that I'll need and pay off my credit card debt so I have a clean slate before I start getting student loans. It gives me a little bit of security in the time leading up to re-entering fulltime education. But it also gives me one year to make sure that this is NOT just a phase and a passing fancy. If I can keep this up for another full year and my interest and passion hasn't faded, then I know I'm making the right decision and going to university for something that is not just a whim, if that makes sense.

So, that's where I stand right now. I think if the application period were a couple of months from now and I had a little more time to prepare, I would go for it, but as it is I only have two weeks and that is not nearly enough time to get everything in order, especially since my case isn't as straightforward as it is for most people who enter University each year. I have the whole difference in the education systems between Canada and England to contend with, and when I last applied I was urged to get my application and information in as early as possible, and to contact the head of admissions in my chosen department to let him know of my circumstances. So January is just too close.

I'm hoping they might have a Spring term that starts though. I think the program I applied for before had two application periods, one for classes starting in October, and one for classes starting in March or April. Which would be ideal, but I can't find any reference to that for the Japanese Studies program. Which, again, is another reason to speak with someone at the University.

That was fairly longwinded, but right now I'm pretty happy with my decision. And even though I'm absolutely fucking dreading going back to work on Tuesday, I feel a little happier now that I've made some plans for the future and have somewhere to set my focus and my gaze. I'm not just staggering blindly through the dark trying to find a job that may someday become a career or figuring out what I want out of life. At least now I've got a plan for the next five years. And since the program includes one year of study in Japan, I'll get to experience living there for the year and will either love it or hate it and decide to move there or come back here. But at least now I feel like I have options. I have a mother fucking FIVE YEAR PLAN.