Manic!

Wow, sorry I haven't had the time to update my blog =/ I am still here, things have just been hectic and insane, and I'm feeling completely bipolar right now. I'm going straight from feeling deeply, horribly depressed, to feeling absolutely great. It's probably the lack of real food, since my descent into restriction has been going pretty well. I'm making a point of not weighing myself right now though, because I want to concentrate on restricting numbers and not scale numbers, lest I obsess to much and just depress myself even more.

But, there's a bit of a change of plan. My 40 day plan isn't going to be going ahead right now, I'm changing it up instead. My aunt is, once again, keeping an eye on what I'm eating, but on the weekend she mentioned that she's going to do the milk-and-yogurt diet that she did presurgery to see if she can lose some damn weight. So I said, I'd do it with her, but supplement a Slimfast shake in, since I physically cannot stomach drinking milk, and she was completely fine with it.

The actual diet calls for 2 fat-free yogurts and 3 pints of milk a day, and nothing else aside from whatever sugarfree beverages you want - ie: water and diet pop and not much else. So to begin with I said I'd do it with 2 yogurts and 3 Slim-fast shakes (I had no intention of actually having 3 shakes in a day, but have to "keep up appearances") and my aunt actually said "I don't think you even need three, one or two is fine). So, okay. I'm in.

Essentially, this means that the calories will be around 500 ish a day, and there will be NO solid food involved. The diet is to last ten days, at which point I'm going to try to get in a "fast" day (with the ever watchful women in the house, this seems harder and harder, so I'm looking forward to their two weeks away in May), and then I'll decide what to do from there. I still want to do 2468, but I might see if I can get away with doing the 10 day milk-yogurt diet again without drawing TOO much suspicion. I mean hey, her surgeon even said "normal people" - those who aren't undergoing weight loss surgery - can do the diet for the results. So I mean, a doctor has basically said it's totally fine and even healthy to do this. Which makes it seem bizarre, like it's cheating, even though at 500 calories a day, it is still classified as a Starvation Diet. And one without any solid food at all.

I know, I keep changing my plan, but with my family being so effing watchful I have to be careful and do what I can. At least with this diet my aunt seems totally down for me doing it with her, so it's a step. I just need to go shopping tonight or tomorrow for supplies. Until I get a stock of yogurts and SlimFast drinks, I'm going to be on low-calorie soups for all of my meals. 10 calorie soup for lunch. 100 calorie cup soup for dinner.

I find it retarded though, that if I were to have cup soups or something I'd get told I'm not eating enough, yet it's perfectly fine to have a SlimFast and two yogurts and nothing else.

Whatever. More later, I need to tell you about my night out on Friday. I thought it was gonna suck but it was awesome in the end, which is probably why I've been in such a great, upbeat mood all weekend. =]

Stay beautiful my lovelies!
Vee xox