So, no weight change again today. Sigh. If this continues to happen next week when I'm back into ABC fully, I'm going to kick my own ass so hard...
Today wasn't too bad for food. I knew we were going out to eat again tonight so I didn't have anything to eat during the day at work. And the interesting thing is that I wasn't hungry either, nor was I craving food. My manager gave me a chocolate selection box that every member of staff got from the company, and I wasn't tempted at all to have one. In fact, the idea of eating chocolate makes me feel a little ill.
Thank the lord and His Noodly Appendages! R-amen!
Anyway. Dinner tonight I got a Cottage pie... It came with chips and veggies but I only have a few chips, no veggies (I hate cooked carrots unless they're cooked until they're almost mooshy, and I despiiiise peas unless they're raw from the pod). Didn't eat all of the cottage pie either. And no dessert. So huzzah!
I think I've decided on a course of action to make this a little less obvious to prying eyes. Maybe not right from the get-go but soon. My aunt's been talking about the milk-and-yogurt diet that she was on before she had her weight loss surgery, and how she might go back on it. Her surgeon told her that "normal people" can do that diet, but supplement the three pints of milk for Slim-fast shakes instead.
Now that's still around 1200 calories a day depending on the shake you get (I think they average around 300kcals each?) which is way too much for me. However, on the PRETENSE of being on this diet I can have nothing for breakfast or lunch at work and get away with publically eating a yogurt and part of a Slimfast shake instead, which is a fairly easy way to get only 250 calories in a day without looking TOO suspicious. The only problem is that it's only supposed to be done for a 10 day stretch and I think my aunt would have something to say about me continuing on this faux diet for longer than that. But if I do it for ten days here and there, she'll think I'm taking in more than I am, and since her surgeon and dietician TOLD HER it is an okay diet for people to follow, she can't have a go at me. In fact, I'm expressed an interest in giving it a try and she's been for it, saying she might do it too.
But my first plan of action is to do ABC. I might bash the two together and use the milk-and-yogurt diet as a way to hit the low calorie restrictions without looking too suspicious but ideally I'd like to be able to stick out the ABC period and then switch to the M.A.Y. diet afterward, which gives me a good two month plan.
Now obviously, I don't think any of us knows anyone who has managed to stick out ABC all the way through to the end, and though I am mostly a cynical realist, I'm trying to be optimistic here. My own negativity will not be my downfall, so rather than expecting to fail at some point in the next several weeks and being okay with that, I'm expecting myself to succeed as far as I possibly can. And I'll do my damndest to make it all the way.
Just think. 60 days of ABC/MAY could equal up to a 60lb weight loss! I mean again that's probably really over optimistic, but just imagine. I think if I managed to lose 60lbs in two months I'd have no motivation whatsoever to ever eat again.
As they say: nothing tastes as good as thin feels.
So, that's my plan of attack for the coming couple of months, taking me to the beginning of March.
Oh, I'm also drawing up a reward system (it goes to show you how my mind works, that rather than typing "reward" my fingers spelled out "retard" the first time and I had to go back and edit that). Rewards and positive reinforcement are good and help you to succeed. The problem is, most of what I want I already cave and buy anyway. Can we say £100+ a month on makeup? Sigh. But there are some things that I'm after that I haven't bought, so I'm going to make a list and stick to it.
Like, no more lipsticks until I've dropped 10lbs.
I'll go get my eyelashes tinted after I've dropped 20.
I've also been toying with the idea of getting false nails. I probably won't because I hate how they destroy your natural nails, and I've heard tales of your nails being RIDICULOUSLY painful once they're taken off because they're so thin and damaged. But damn, they look so nice, and I'm so fed up of how brittle my nails are. They keep peeling and breaking, and lately I've had three tear in a little at the side below the start of the nailbed, and I've had to be careful about trying to peel off the part that's trying to break off without tearing out half my nailbed.
Anyway I'm rambling off on completely unrelated tangents now.
I have another work-bitch but I'm tired and need to get to bed, so I'll write that one up tomorrow. Another Tale Of A Selfish Manager. Sigh.
Stay strong, skinnies!
Vee xox
Showing posts with label weight. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weight. Show all posts
Tuesday, 29 December 2009
Monday, 28 December 2009
No Change
Weight remains the same. Sigh. Another outing tomorrow night but I don't want to go. As I mentioned before, the place we're going has horrible food anyway so that's a plus - I won't WANT or be TEMPTED to eat anything. Another diet coke, if you please!
I'm super tired so I'm going to go to bed... I'm stressed about going back to work tomorrow and it's making me fidgetey and weird, so I doubt I'll get much, but damnit I need to try. I'm sick of feeling so terrible. I hope my old manager is in tomorrow so I can tell him I'm looking for other work when I go grab the girls for "lunch" (my lunch being half a SlimFast shake). My new manager... I'm going to wait until I've gotten an interview or something. I'm such a retard that I feel bad for looking for other work, as if he's going to take it personally and get upset because I don't want to work for him.
Talk to you tomorrow
Vee xox
I'm super tired so I'm going to go to bed... I'm stressed about going back to work tomorrow and it's making me fidgetey and weird, so I doubt I'll get much, but damnit I need to try. I'm sick of feeling so terrible. I hope my old manager is in tomorrow so I can tell him I'm looking for other work when I go grab the girls for "lunch" (my lunch being half a SlimFast shake). My new manager... I'm going to wait until I've gotten an interview or something. I'm such a retard that I feel bad for looking for other work, as if he's going to take it personally and get upset because I don't want to work for him.
Talk to you tomorrow
Vee xox
Friday, 25 December 2009
Merry Christmassss (or insert other holiday or nonholiday you celebrate here)
Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.
Today's Christmas dinner didn't go too badly. Christmas is almost always a cheat day, so I'm trying not to feel guilty but damnit it's hard. I didn't eat too much, and most of it was vegetables (like carrots and brussel sprouts, and is it weird that I fucking LOVE sprouts, when they're cooked til they're soggy and barely need chewing and eaten with a lot of salt and basically no other nutritional value left?), but there were also mashed potatoes, one roast potato piece, one piece of roast parsnip, a little stuffing and a slice and a half of turkey crown. Dessert was ice cream, which only added about 80 calories on top. Everyone else was devouring Christmas pudding with tons of cream and brandy butter and thick ass custard, but just looking at it made me feel ill. Blech.
But. I have to do it all again tomorrow. I can't remember if I blogged about this in the past couple days but it completely slipped my mind today that my granny is doing Christmas dinner tomorrow at her house, since my aunt missed it today. So, we're talking the full works all over again. =/
And then Sunday my aunts and I are going out for a Christmas meal with some mutual friends (H and S2) and they booked this well before we went away but I completely fucking blanked. And then we're supposed to be going out for dinner again at this restaurant near home that I absolutely detest - all it has is fatty foods, even the two salads on the menu have a ton of shit in them, fuck - and I do not remember agreeing to this one but of course I'm obligated to go. I'm not even sure who is going but I think it's my aunt's work folks?
Then Friday is new year's eve and we're going out... New Year's Eve is also H's birthday, so we're supposed to be hitting town. Which means alcohol. Maybe I'll get so drunk on spirits (like, vodka and diet coke) that I'll be hungover for the rest of the weekend and therefore have an excuse to ditch the New Year's Meal Slash Sunday Dinner J is cooking for my grandparents to come over next Sunday? In either case, I'm starting ABC on Jan 1st, so it'll be a 500 day. I can get through a family dinner on a 500 day, I'm sure. And, plus my aunts know full well I'm trying to lose weight.
In fact my aunt actually criticized me over it while we were away. I was telling her I'm going to "start taking dieting very seriously come the new year and need to see how much cash I have so I can rejoin my gym and everything" and being really positive. I wanted to make it clear that I have a set "start date" as it were so come the new year when my aunts are suggesting ordering pizza or hitting McDonald's on the way home from the cinema, I can just say "dude no, I'm losing weight remember? I can't eat that and you know it" - kind of a means to pre-empt their interference with my plans to restart ABC.
But anyway, what she said to me was "Make sure you do because I don't want you to wind up like me. I kept putting it off and making excuses for gaining weight and just never went ahead and lost it and then realized, how the fuck did I Get so fat?"
And I was thinking, thanks for being supportive, fuck. But then I realized, that kind of criticism is EXACTLY what I need right now. Fuck complacency and apathy. Tell me I'm fat and I'll prove you wrong. Granted I haven't shifted the weight I gained in Canada, but it's not like I put on two stone and am trying to justify it. I've been trying to restrict but it's just been IMPOSSIBLE the past while. But at this point it's crystal clear that I'm "dieting" and "cutting back" and "losing weight." If anything else, the fact that I'm Maid of Honour for my sister's wedding in February 2011 is just extra motivation, on top of the fact that my aunt basically called me Fat.
Incidentally, before her surgery she took to nicknaming her belly fat. The top roll is called Ben and the lower stomach fat is Jemimah. While we were in Mexico, I was sitting on our balcony area in possibly the most unflattering pair of hipster jeans that always make my middle look bigger than they are (I packed the wrong pair in my haste =/) and she said "Look! You have a Ben bit too!"
Like, bitch just called me fat AND named my stomach. And expected me to laugh about it.
Fuck this bullshit. I'm upset and pissed off but I'm going to channel this emotion into DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
I can't get out of the meals coming up this week, but I *can* make those meals the only things I'm eating for the next several days. I'm going to try to restrict as far as I can on Wed-Thurs-Fri as well. Meaning, I'm planning on trying to fast but with Thursday's alcohol consumption my aunt will probably be on my case to eat something "substantial" before we go out. But hopefully I'll feel so shitty on Friday I won't be able to. That said, Friday is Day One of ABC. And fuckshit,I think I just miscounted my days because I thought above that Sunday is Day 2 but according to that, it's actually Day 3. Whatever, I'll do my best to stick to the calorie restrictions while humoring my family as best I can at dinner.
This post is more random and disjointed than usual and for that I apologise. As I was writing I kept remembering more things and getting more pissed off about them.
So, incidentally, MERRY CHRISTMAS/HAPPY HOLIDAYS. I hope you've all had an awesome day and the Family Eating Events haven't been too stressful for you. I'm going to go hate myself, my life, and the people in it now.
Vee xox
(ps: I already mentioned this but it's worth saying again, that I'm on Facebook under Vee Seethrough if you want to add me =] Also, if you want to email correspondence or chat on MSN, drop me a comment here with your address or send me an email to xsnuffondigital@live.co.uk. Hope to hear from you soon dolls!)
Today's Christmas dinner didn't go too badly. Christmas is almost always a cheat day, so I'm trying not to feel guilty but damnit it's hard. I didn't eat too much, and most of it was vegetables (like carrots and brussel sprouts, and is it weird that I fucking LOVE sprouts, when they're cooked til they're soggy and barely need chewing and eaten with a lot of salt and basically no other nutritional value left?), but there were also mashed potatoes, one roast potato piece, one piece of roast parsnip, a little stuffing and a slice and a half of turkey crown. Dessert was ice cream, which only added about 80 calories on top. Everyone else was devouring Christmas pudding with tons of cream and brandy butter and thick ass custard, but just looking at it made me feel ill. Blech.
But. I have to do it all again tomorrow. I can't remember if I blogged about this in the past couple days but it completely slipped my mind today that my granny is doing Christmas dinner tomorrow at her house, since my aunt missed it today. So, we're talking the full works all over again. =/
And then Sunday my aunts and I are going out for a Christmas meal with some mutual friends (H and S2) and they booked this well before we went away but I completely fucking blanked. And then we're supposed to be going out for dinner again at this restaurant near home that I absolutely detest - all it has is fatty foods, even the two salads on the menu have a ton of shit in them, fuck - and I do not remember agreeing to this one but of course I'm obligated to go. I'm not even sure who is going but I think it's my aunt's work folks?
Then Friday is new year's eve and we're going out... New Year's Eve is also H's birthday, so we're supposed to be hitting town. Which means alcohol. Maybe I'll get so drunk on spirits (like, vodka and diet coke) that I'll be hungover for the rest of the weekend and therefore have an excuse to ditch the New Year's Meal Slash Sunday Dinner J is cooking for my grandparents to come over next Sunday? In either case, I'm starting ABC on Jan 1st, so it'll be a 500 day. I can get through a family dinner on a 500 day, I'm sure. And, plus my aunts know full well I'm trying to lose weight.
In fact my aunt actually criticized me over it while we were away. I was telling her I'm going to "start taking dieting very seriously come the new year and need to see how much cash I have so I can rejoin my gym and everything" and being really positive. I wanted to make it clear that I have a set "start date" as it were so come the new year when my aunts are suggesting ordering pizza or hitting McDonald's on the way home from the cinema, I can just say "dude no, I'm losing weight remember? I can't eat that and you know it" - kind of a means to pre-empt their interference with my plans to restart ABC.
But anyway, what she said to me was "Make sure you do because I don't want you to wind up like me. I kept putting it off and making excuses for gaining weight and just never went ahead and lost it and then realized, how the fuck did I Get so fat?"
And I was thinking, thanks for being supportive, fuck. But then I realized, that kind of criticism is EXACTLY what I need right now. Fuck complacency and apathy. Tell me I'm fat and I'll prove you wrong. Granted I haven't shifted the weight I gained in Canada, but it's not like I put on two stone and am trying to justify it. I've been trying to restrict but it's just been IMPOSSIBLE the past while. But at this point it's crystal clear that I'm "dieting" and "cutting back" and "losing weight." If anything else, the fact that I'm Maid of Honour for my sister's wedding in February 2011 is just extra motivation, on top of the fact that my aunt basically called me Fat.
Incidentally, before her surgery she took to nicknaming her belly fat. The top roll is called Ben and the lower stomach fat is Jemimah. While we were in Mexico, I was sitting on our balcony area in possibly the most unflattering pair of hipster jeans that always make my middle look bigger than they are (I packed the wrong pair in my haste =/) and she said "Look! You have a Ben bit too!"
Like, bitch just called me fat AND named my stomach. And expected me to laugh about it.
Fuck this bullshit. I'm upset and pissed off but I'm going to channel this emotion into DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
I can't get out of the meals coming up this week, but I *can* make those meals the only things I'm eating for the next several days. I'm going to try to restrict as far as I can on Wed-Thurs-Fri as well. Meaning, I'm planning on trying to fast but with Thursday's alcohol consumption my aunt will probably be on my case to eat something "substantial" before we go out. But hopefully I'll feel so shitty on Friday I won't be able to. That said, Friday is Day One of ABC. And fuckshit,I think I just miscounted my days because I thought above that Sunday is Day 2 but according to that, it's actually Day 3. Whatever, I'll do my best to stick to the calorie restrictions while humoring my family as best I can at dinner.
This post is more random and disjointed than usual and for that I apologise. As I was writing I kept remembering more things and getting more pissed off about them.
So, incidentally, MERRY CHRISTMAS/HAPPY HOLIDAYS. I hope you've all had an awesome day and the Family Eating Events haven't been too stressful for you. I'm going to go hate myself, my life, and the people in it now.
Vee xox
(ps: I already mentioned this but it's worth saying again, that I'm on Facebook under Vee Seethrough if you want to add me =] Also, if you want to email correspondence or chat on MSN, drop me a comment here with your address or send me an email to xsnuffondigital@live.co.uk. Hope to hear from you soon dolls!)
Monday, 21 September 2009
Monster Update
Hey again everyone!
Sorry it’s taken me forever to post anything. I’ve been suffering majorly with my jet-lag (missed two extra days of work, boo!) and have now come down with a lovely little cold. My aunt was pretty sick at the same time I was in bed trying to recuperate and adjust to the time change (7 hour time difference =/) so I think she gave it to me. Either that or this is just my pussy immune system protesting against the sudden influx of cool, damp, gloomy weather after two solid weeks of hot sunshine.
First things first. My trip was awesome. I didn’t want to come back just yet, which is definitely saying something after the huge amount of trepidation I felt when the days were drawing closer and closer. The weather was amazing, a solid 25-31 degrees (Celsius of course) Every. Single. Day. It was not cloudy a single day or rainy or cold. At night it got a little cool but after the oppressive heat and sunshine glaring down all day, it was actually a nice reprieve.
My mother’s husband was no his best behaviour, and there was little to no drama at all while I was there, which I was very grateful for. Had I stayed another week or two, I think cracks would have appeared in the thin veneer he was wearing over his real face and personality, though.
I had two missions while I was there. One was to find a pair of cowboy boots to bring back with me. The other was to get a pair of nice black leather, block-heeled boots with rubber soles/traction, that I could use as winter boots over here. I used to have the perfect pair, bought back in my hometown circa… well, 5-7 years ago. And ever since I had to throw them away (when I first moved here, I was here for six months, then went back to Canada for 3 to pack the rest of my stuff and bring it over. I had to leave the boots there during the first stretch and while my family left them sitting in the entryway for six months, their cats peed on them and they reeked. I tried to wash and febreeze them, but no =[), I’ve been on the hunt for a decent replacement. England basically only sells three kinds of boots. Ugg style or generic flat ones, or skinny heels that should not be worn in winter in a city that is abundant with hills and which gets rain every other day, which then freezes in the winter. Sigh.
So, mission one was accomplished. My mom I guess told her husband that he was going to buy me some boots, and he appeared to have opted for the cowboy boots. So, my mom and I hit the mall, going to Lammles (western wear) and I found a nice black pair for around $130. Told my mother’s husband, and he started whining and complaining that we didn’t go to the Alberta Boot company, so when the weekend came he drove down there. I tried on a pair (he actually pointed them out and I liked them) and decided to get them. $300. All I can say is I’m glad I wasn’t buying because I doubt I’d have paid $300 for a pair of cowboy boots. They are super hot though. When I told D’s mom about it, she was like “oh god, why?” and I responded “I think he’s trying to suck up because he knows I don’t like him.” Even my mom knows, which she acknowledged at the airport after I had checked in and it was just she and I hanging around. My mom was like, well he’s not your father and you don’t like him but at least you only have to see him every once and a while and you don’t have to talk to him on the phone or anything when you’re not here, and you can let him buy you stuff when you’re here.
Lulz.
The other boots, however, were a total no-go. I hit at LEAST 20 different shoe stores (I am not even exaggerating) and couldn’t find anything. Lots of flats, tons of Ugg-style boots, and a billion spike-heels sans any traction. Sadface. In the end, D’s mom was dragging me to every shoe store and shoe outlet she knew of to try to find them, but it just didn’t happen. I found one pair that was suitable, but it was a final sale and they didn’t have my size. Fail!
Aside from that the trip was pretty generic. I mostly spent time with my two BFF’s, V and D, although separately. Highlights were:
· Meeting V’s friend for the first time (after V telling me how annoying she is) and then pointing out a trait that really bothered me – a trait V wasn’t aware of until I pointed it out. Then a couple days later getting a string of obscenity-laden text-messages telling me she couldn’t deal with this stupid person anymore and she was going crazy and wanted to kill herself and oh yeah, I just made it worse by pointing out another flaw.
· Staying up until 6 in the morning playing video games with V, and getting under 4 hours of sleep before having to head off for the lamest manicure from hell. A mutual friend from school bought V and I each a gift certificate to get a manicure and pedicure from a nail studio at the mall. So, we made time for that but told the people there that we wanted the mani but not the pedi (I think it’s a bit weird for strangers to be fooling around with my feet =/ ) so we got that done. It cost $19 to basically cut, file, and paint my nails pink. Yeah. Then I got to rush home to nap for two hours before I had to go over to D’s for the last time before I came back. Busy day!
· Toonie bowling with D, his brother and sister, and an old friend we both went to school with. We were struggling to come up with something to do and D’s sister H was on her phone looking for ideas. She came across a bowling alley that did Toonie Tuesday bowling (a Toonie, for those who don’t know, is the name of Canada’s $2 coin). So we went there, walked in, and found out you had to pay with Toonies. So for five of us we needed five Toonies instead of a ten dollar bill. Which we didn’t have. So we got to trek across the parking lot to Wal-Mart, where I picked up the cheapest thing I could find (a pack of gum for 87 cents) and proceeded to pay with a ten dollar bill and four quarters and asked for five toonies as my change. The cashier didn’t mind but I felt like a bit of a retard asking. I did explain the bowling situation though.
· Hanging out with V downtown and meeting up with a friend we went to high school with. Going for food (we shared 2 appetizers booya) and then trekking around Art Central looking at all the little stores. Wanting to buy everything at the vinyl toy store, and hanging out with one of the chicks who works there, who V had befriended before. Partaking in two kinds of wine there, including the most rancid red wine I’ve ever tasted (also the only red wine I’ve ever tasted) and the most amazing, sweet, and scrumptious white wine in the world! Then making our way to the First Annual block party, hosted by one of the big night clubs in my hometown. Downside is that they had to finish it off at 10pm due to the noise bylaws there, but it was still good times!
· Seeing my nephew!
My nephew is adorable, and he warmed up to me almost right away. At first he wasn’t too sure, when we went to pick him up from his mom, but by the time we got back to my mom’s house, he had fully accepted me, and plonked himself down in my lap to watch tv. My only regret is that I didn’t take enough pictures. I was planning to do a ton of photos the last day we had him, but his mom and my brother had a mediation dealy over custody and visitation on that day so I didn’t get to see him again before I left =[. So in total I had three 3-hour stints with him. Not enough!
It was really great reconnecting with D’s family, that was probably one of the best parts. I love V and she’s like family to me too, but I never lost touch or contact with her, we’re just the same as we always were, since I met her 8 years ago. But I grew up with D’s family, he’s been my best friend since we were like 6 years old, and his family is my family. Since I moved to the UK five years ago, I think I’ve only seen them once, so it was really really great seeing them again and reforming those bonds. Or at the very least, seeing those bonds again and realizing they never really wore away to begin with. His mom kept trying to talk me into moving back there, and I have to admit that part of me was tempted.
The whole time I was there was busy and fun and lively, and it was great. And it kind of made me feel that I’m wasting my life here in England. Over there, basically every day was full and I got to see some of the people I really love. Over here I have my aunts, my grandparents, and S… and that’s about it. But then I had to remind myself what it was like living with my immediate family, most notably my mother’s husband. And the fact that it’s almost impossible to get a job there. And having to contend with the winters! We’re talking up to NEGATIVE 50 degrees. But mostly, I had to remind myself that I was never really happy there. Going there now and being happy and enjoying myself is a direct result of finding myself, which only happened when I moved here. At times I still feel lost and confused and like I don’t know who I am, but I’ve come a far, far way from the person I was when I lived there full time, before I moved away. And that move is the best thing I’ve ever done in my life.
And of course, I could never up and leave and move away without my aunt. We’re a unit!
Holy Christ this is long. And I feel like I haven’t covered everything, but I’m not sure what else to say about the trip other than that it rocked. I’m going to make a more conscious effort to go back at least once a year for a three week visit. And maybe if I’m not going on any other trips (like Cancun this year), I’ll space it out and go twice? We’ll see!
As for food… the entire time I was there was basically a 16 day bingefest. When I came back, I was really jetlagged and barely ate and dropped at least a pound or two. My initial weigh in wasn’t accurate because although it was morning here, it was midnight back in Canada and I’d eaten a full day’s worth of food so my weight was all over. Still, only up 5lbs is a lot better than I was anticipating, even though it was only two weeks. This weekend was a baddish one… Friday we had fish and chips because we had my grandparents over so we could watch a football match together (my team won!). Saturday I had sushi out with S and then had a couple small things from a buffet at a wedding reception I had to go to, and a piece of (bad) wedding cake. And yesterday I had to go to my grandmother’s for a Sunday roast, and she piled on the veggies (though at least it was veggies and not fatty meats and pie or stuff).
Yet somehow, I’m still down around half a pound from Friday, so I can’t complain. I think maybe the two week binge kicked my metabolism in the teeth and got it raring up again, so now it’s still working hard to burn away what I am eating. Score! I better enjoy it while it lasts though because I doubt it’ll last long.
Anyway, this is really longwinded so I’m going to post it now and go get some work done. Let me know what you guys have all been up to while I’ve been away! I need to catch up on your blogs but it seems like so much so it might take a while to do. So drop me a comment to let me know how you’ve been and what you’ve been doing =]
Current weight, by the way: 209.8lbs. Still up from my start weight but there will be no more interruptions. I have three months to lose as much as I can for the beach. Countdown starts now!
Sorry it’s taken me forever to post anything. I’ve been suffering majorly with my jet-lag (missed two extra days of work, boo!) and have now come down with a lovely little cold. My aunt was pretty sick at the same time I was in bed trying to recuperate and adjust to the time change (7 hour time difference =/) so I think she gave it to me. Either that or this is just my pussy immune system protesting against the sudden influx of cool, damp, gloomy weather after two solid weeks of hot sunshine.
First things first. My trip was awesome. I didn’t want to come back just yet, which is definitely saying something after the huge amount of trepidation I felt when the days were drawing closer and closer. The weather was amazing, a solid 25-31 degrees (Celsius of course) Every. Single. Day. It was not cloudy a single day or rainy or cold. At night it got a little cool but after the oppressive heat and sunshine glaring down all day, it was actually a nice reprieve.
My mother’s husband was no his best behaviour, and there was little to no drama at all while I was there, which I was very grateful for. Had I stayed another week or two, I think cracks would have appeared in the thin veneer he was wearing over his real face and personality, though.
I had two missions while I was there. One was to find a pair of cowboy boots to bring back with me. The other was to get a pair of nice black leather, block-heeled boots with rubber soles/traction, that I could use as winter boots over here. I used to have the perfect pair, bought back in my hometown circa… well, 5-7 years ago. And ever since I had to throw them away (when I first moved here, I was here for six months, then went back to Canada for 3 to pack the rest of my stuff and bring it over. I had to leave the boots there during the first stretch and while my family left them sitting in the entryway for six months, their cats peed on them and they reeked. I tried to wash and febreeze them, but no =[), I’ve been on the hunt for a decent replacement. England basically only sells three kinds of boots. Ugg style or generic flat ones, or skinny heels that should not be worn in winter in a city that is abundant with hills and which gets rain every other day, which then freezes in the winter. Sigh.
So, mission one was accomplished. My mom I guess told her husband that he was going to buy me some boots, and he appeared to have opted for the cowboy boots. So, my mom and I hit the mall, going to Lammles (western wear) and I found a nice black pair for around $130. Told my mother’s husband, and he started whining and complaining that we didn’t go to the Alberta Boot company, so when the weekend came he drove down there. I tried on a pair (he actually pointed them out and I liked them) and decided to get them. $300. All I can say is I’m glad I wasn’t buying because I doubt I’d have paid $300 for a pair of cowboy boots. They are super hot though. When I told D’s mom about it, she was like “oh god, why?” and I responded “I think he’s trying to suck up because he knows I don’t like him.” Even my mom knows, which she acknowledged at the airport after I had checked in and it was just she and I hanging around. My mom was like, well he’s not your father and you don’t like him but at least you only have to see him every once and a while and you don’t have to talk to him on the phone or anything when you’re not here, and you can let him buy you stuff when you’re here.
Lulz.
The other boots, however, were a total no-go. I hit at LEAST 20 different shoe stores (I am not even exaggerating) and couldn’t find anything. Lots of flats, tons of Ugg-style boots, and a billion spike-heels sans any traction. Sadface. In the end, D’s mom was dragging me to every shoe store and shoe outlet she knew of to try to find them, but it just didn’t happen. I found one pair that was suitable, but it was a final sale and they didn’t have my size. Fail!
Aside from that the trip was pretty generic. I mostly spent time with my two BFF’s, V and D, although separately. Highlights were:
· Meeting V’s friend for the first time (after V telling me how annoying she is) and then pointing out a trait that really bothered me – a trait V wasn’t aware of until I pointed it out. Then a couple days later getting a string of obscenity-laden text-messages telling me she couldn’t deal with this stupid person anymore and she was going crazy and wanted to kill herself and oh yeah, I just made it worse by pointing out another flaw.
· Staying up until 6 in the morning playing video games with V, and getting under 4 hours of sleep before having to head off for the lamest manicure from hell. A mutual friend from school bought V and I each a gift certificate to get a manicure and pedicure from a nail studio at the mall. So, we made time for that but told the people there that we wanted the mani but not the pedi (I think it’s a bit weird for strangers to be fooling around with my feet =/ ) so we got that done. It cost $19 to basically cut, file, and paint my nails pink. Yeah. Then I got to rush home to nap for two hours before I had to go over to D’s for the last time before I came back. Busy day!
· Toonie bowling with D, his brother and sister, and an old friend we both went to school with. We were struggling to come up with something to do and D’s sister H was on her phone looking for ideas. She came across a bowling alley that did Toonie Tuesday bowling (a Toonie, for those who don’t know, is the name of Canada’s $2 coin). So we went there, walked in, and found out you had to pay with Toonies. So for five of us we needed five Toonies instead of a ten dollar bill. Which we didn’t have. So we got to trek across the parking lot to Wal-Mart, where I picked up the cheapest thing I could find (a pack of gum for 87 cents) and proceeded to pay with a ten dollar bill and four quarters and asked for five toonies as my change. The cashier didn’t mind but I felt like a bit of a retard asking. I did explain the bowling situation though.
· Hanging out with V downtown and meeting up with a friend we went to high school with. Going for food (we shared 2 appetizers booya) and then trekking around Art Central looking at all the little stores. Wanting to buy everything at the vinyl toy store, and hanging out with one of the chicks who works there, who V had befriended before. Partaking in two kinds of wine there, including the most rancid red wine I’ve ever tasted (also the only red wine I’ve ever tasted) and the most amazing, sweet, and scrumptious white wine in the world! Then making our way to the First Annual block party, hosted by one of the big night clubs in my hometown. Downside is that they had to finish it off at 10pm due to the noise bylaws there, but it was still good times!
· Seeing my nephew!
My nephew is adorable, and he warmed up to me almost right away. At first he wasn’t too sure, when we went to pick him up from his mom, but by the time we got back to my mom’s house, he had fully accepted me, and plonked himself down in my lap to watch tv. My only regret is that I didn’t take enough pictures. I was planning to do a ton of photos the last day we had him, but his mom and my brother had a mediation dealy over custody and visitation on that day so I didn’t get to see him again before I left =[. So in total I had three 3-hour stints with him. Not enough!
It was really great reconnecting with D’s family, that was probably one of the best parts. I love V and she’s like family to me too, but I never lost touch or contact with her, we’re just the same as we always were, since I met her 8 years ago. But I grew up with D’s family, he’s been my best friend since we were like 6 years old, and his family is my family. Since I moved to the UK five years ago, I think I’ve only seen them once, so it was really really great seeing them again and reforming those bonds. Or at the very least, seeing those bonds again and realizing they never really wore away to begin with. His mom kept trying to talk me into moving back there, and I have to admit that part of me was tempted.
The whole time I was there was busy and fun and lively, and it was great. And it kind of made me feel that I’m wasting my life here in England. Over there, basically every day was full and I got to see some of the people I really love. Over here I have my aunts, my grandparents, and S… and that’s about it. But then I had to remind myself what it was like living with my immediate family, most notably my mother’s husband. And the fact that it’s almost impossible to get a job there. And having to contend with the winters! We’re talking up to NEGATIVE 50 degrees. But mostly, I had to remind myself that I was never really happy there. Going there now and being happy and enjoying myself is a direct result of finding myself, which only happened when I moved here. At times I still feel lost and confused and like I don’t know who I am, but I’ve come a far, far way from the person I was when I lived there full time, before I moved away. And that move is the best thing I’ve ever done in my life.
And of course, I could never up and leave and move away without my aunt. We’re a unit!
Holy Christ this is long. And I feel like I haven’t covered everything, but I’m not sure what else to say about the trip other than that it rocked. I’m going to make a more conscious effort to go back at least once a year for a three week visit. And maybe if I’m not going on any other trips (like Cancun this year), I’ll space it out and go twice? We’ll see!
As for food… the entire time I was there was basically a 16 day bingefest. When I came back, I was really jetlagged and barely ate and dropped at least a pound or two. My initial weigh in wasn’t accurate because although it was morning here, it was midnight back in Canada and I’d eaten a full day’s worth of food so my weight was all over. Still, only up 5lbs is a lot better than I was anticipating, even though it was only two weeks. This weekend was a baddish one… Friday we had fish and chips because we had my grandparents over so we could watch a football match together (my team won!). Saturday I had sushi out with S and then had a couple small things from a buffet at a wedding reception I had to go to, and a piece of (bad) wedding cake. And yesterday I had to go to my grandmother’s for a Sunday roast, and she piled on the veggies (though at least it was veggies and not fatty meats and pie or stuff).
Yet somehow, I’m still down around half a pound from Friday, so I can’t complain. I think maybe the two week binge kicked my metabolism in the teeth and got it raring up again, so now it’s still working hard to burn away what I am eating. Score! I better enjoy it while it lasts though because I doubt it’ll last long.
Anyway, this is really longwinded so I’m going to post it now and go get some work done. Let me know what you guys have all been up to while I’ve been away! I need to catch up on your blogs but it seems like so much so it might take a while to do. So drop me a comment to let me know how you’ve been and what you’ve been doing =]
Current weight, by the way: 209.8lbs. Still up from my start weight but there will be no more interruptions. I have three months to lose as much as I can for the beach. Countdown starts now!
Wednesday, 16 September 2009
Back!
I'll write about Calgary when I get some more time, I'm still really jet-lagged right now...
As for weight... not as bad as I was expecting. As of today, I'm only up 5.8 since the day before I left, which is remarkable since every day was basically a binge day while I was away (my mom and my friends' families insisting on feeding me and taking me out for dinner and lunches constantly).
It was higher yesterday but I'm down 2 as of today, although I think part of it is food weight. Since I've been really jetlagged I've spent the past two days mostly in bed, and have only had a couple pieces of toast and a 220 cal frozen dinner each day. The best part is that since I've been in bed all day and dozing for most of it, I haven't even been hungry, which rocks out loud.
Back to work tomorrow, although I think I'm going to be a zombie. I slept from 1 until 8 this afternoon which means I'll probably be up all night again like I was last night. Sigh. Two working days until the weekend.
Sigh. I kind of miss it. I wasn't expecting to... I didn't last time I went there. =/
As for weight... not as bad as I was expecting. As of today, I'm only up 5.8 since the day before I left, which is remarkable since every day was basically a binge day while I was away (my mom and my friends' families insisting on feeding me and taking me out for dinner and lunches constantly).
It was higher yesterday but I'm down 2 as of today, although I think part of it is food weight. Since I've been really jetlagged I've spent the past two days mostly in bed, and have only had a couple pieces of toast and a 220 cal frozen dinner each day. The best part is that since I've been in bed all day and dozing for most of it, I haven't even been hungry, which rocks out loud.
Back to work tomorrow, although I think I'm going to be a zombie. I slept from 1 until 8 this afternoon which means I'll probably be up all night again like I was last night. Sigh. Two working days until the weekend.
Sigh. I kind of miss it. I wasn't expecting to... I didn't last time I went there. =/
Monday, 1 June 2009
Shittalicious
Just a quick update of sorts.
Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been really stressed and busy, as we moved into our new house on Saturday. I spent ALL day on Friday packing (I've only lived in this country for 5 years where the FUCK did all this SHIT come from?? I have enough stuff to furnish a 3-bedroom house on my own, I swear to god), and I'm SO GLAD I took Friday off work. I wasn't going to bother, I thought I'd just leave work early at 4 and spend the night packing. But I packed from 10:30 in the morning and didn't finish until around 8 in the evening. And then I still had a couple things to finish up before we actually moved on Saturday morning.
The house right now is a shambles. Most of the stuff has been moved into the new house, there are just a few things at the old place still (like a couple bags of books, a plastic bag full of old handbags, another bag full of my Film Cell collection (I say collection, I think I have four film cells total so it's hardly a "collection" - for those who are interested, I have the Blade Trilogy, Silent Hill, The Nightmare Before Christmas (OMFGLOVE) and got a small coaster-size Edward Scissorhands one for Christmas. I NEED to get a Fight Club and Choke film cell too... and a Nightmare on Elm Street one would be FABULOUS but we'll see I guess). Our computers are still there but I'm bringing mine home tonight after work and my aunt's leaving hers there for if we need the internet for something until it's been switched to the new house. As of right now we have no interwebs at the new house at all, and AOL (I know, it's Satan's Spawn) said it'll be up to 20 days to get it switched over. Suckage.
SO my updates will be a little sporatic, and I probably won't get around to the Summer2009 challenge in time, but it'll get up there eventually.
So anyway. My bedroom, is bigger. The SPACE is amazing, even though I still have *counts* about 7 boxes in my room right now that need to be unpacked plus the gaming chair my aunt and I bought last year (which is fucking not staying in my room, we bought it to put in the living room, NOT to shove in my room, I don't have THAT much space!) Once the boxes are unpacked I need to bring my big solid wood chest up and I think that is all.
The best news? The treadmill is officially in my bedroom! And it JUST fits between the side of my wardrobe and the wall so I don't have to have it sticking out in the middle of the room. Thank god for inventing foldable exercise equipment. I haven't used it yet as things are so cluttered and I can't even unfold it at this point, but once the boxes are out of the way I'm planning to spend an hour a night on it. I'll have to start walking since my fitness levels are shit-tastic right now, but eventually I want to work my way up to jogging the entire time. I inspected it last night and it DOES have a calorie calculator and a pulse rate thingy in there too, which is something I didn't think it had, so huzzah for that.
Also, I "acquired" a couple Zumba DVDs since I've heard a lot of good things about it. Now that my computer isn't going to be in my bedroom I can't just play them on there and work out, so I think I'll have to burn a few DVDs to keep in my bedroom.
Which reminds me, I need to get a new TV. We're getting Sky installed in the next couple of weeks (for those of you in the US, Sky is like satellite/digital cable. Without it, we have literally only 5 channels, and even that's only with an antenna and if your reception area is amazing.) and I'm getting it setup in my room. And the TV I have right now is crap. It's got a tiny screen, and it's pretty old so it's an old CRT (damn my physics classes, everytime I see or hear or write CRT I flash back to high school when I learned what a Cathode Ray Tube is and how it works and electron firing blah blah. God it's so boring living in my head) and is therefore large and clunky and heavy for what it is. And the DVD player in it doesn't work. Last night while I was doing my hair, I was bored out of my mind. I'm used to reading something on the internet or watching TV/movie on my computer while doing my hair, but without the computer there was nothing to do. So I plugged the fucker in and grabbed one of my aunt's DVDs (yeah for some reason her box of DVDs is in my bedroom, don't ask why because I've no idea) and put it in. And I had to eject and put it back in eight times and blow into the drive a billion times before the bastarding thing would read the disk. SO NOT WORTH THE EFFORT
SO I'll probably just buy a smallish, cheapish flat-screen and have it mounted on my wall, and then get some shelves set up for my XBOX and Sky box and DVD player.
This moving thing is costing so much money, haha.
Bleh, also? This weekend has been hell because I have not slept more than maybe eight collective hours all weekend. I'm the type of person who needs dark and quiet in order to sleep. Once I'm out I can be a bit of a heavy sleeper, or I can be the lightest sleeper in the world, it entirely depends. But I can NOT get to sleep if there is any noise or light. I suffer from insomnia that gets worse at times, and then gets slightly better - but I honestly can not remember the last time I slept a full, straight, uninterrupted 8 hours and woke up feeling refreshed. I am ALWAYS tired.
Anyway I'm digressing.
While packing the last of the big furniture from my bedroom, our friend SR (I'm going to need to put a name legend on the sidebar) asked if we were taking the curtains. Keep in mind that the curtains in my room at the old house cost around £60. They fit my silvery decor, and were fully lined and heavy so they did a damn good job of blocking out any outside light. I paid for them and my aunt is in the process of paying me back for them (along with the £240 carpet we had installed in my room last May). Anyway. My aunt said no, we're not taking the curtains, because she thinks my cat's caught it and pulled a few threads. Also she didn't want to take the curtains because then it would be obvious to outsiders nobody was living there, and the old house is in a neighbourhood where people slash tires knowing full well that people are in the house upstairs with the lights on, so you can imagine what empty houses are like. And there are still valuables in there.
At first, I didn't think of the whole "Light makes my face melt off!" situation. My aunt's sister in law made matching curtains for every room, so there are some nice curtains in my room already that match the wallpaper and carpet - which reminds me, why the fuck did I think the carpet was terra cotta? It's a neutral brown. It must have been reflecting the ghastly rose colour of the old wardrobes or something. BUT of course, after I finally managed to fall asleep, I was WIDE AWAKE at 5:15 in the morning when the sun was STREAMING in and shining full force on my bed. The curtains are made of a very light, gauzy fabric, like tulle or chiffon. They stop basically nothing whatsoever. Same deal this morning. BAD TIMES.
So I brought this up and my aunt said that while we can't take the old curtains yet, she'll find an old sheet or something to cover the window with to help me out in the meantime.
What else?
Oh yeah, this morning my aunt also mentioned we'd have to move my bed away from the wall. Right now it's pressed against the corner so that the head end of my bed is pressed against the wall between my room and my aunts' room, and she said when I turn over the bed is somehow making a banging sound against the wall. So she said to move it down. Except I have no headboard so I can't, if I move the bed my pillows fall off the end - at the old house I had to move my mattress back up flush with the wall EVERY night otherwise my feather pillow was swallowed up in the chasm. SO I have to find somewhere else to put the bed, which is a pain. Possibly just turning it so the side of the bed is a couple inches from the wall and the head is against the outside wall.
Sorry, I'm just thinking out loud at this point.
Ok now I need to bitch. Big time.
Last weekend I went shopping with my good friend S (it's her birthday on Friday, she's turning 19, and this makes me feel very old because jesus, am I REALLY four years older than her?!?!?!) and I bought two pairs of really nice sunglasses from River Island. This morning I wore my favourite pair (which are a pink plastic on the inside and black plastic on the ouside, and there's a flowery design on the sides where you can see the pink through and they're so nice and I love them) when I went to my orthodontist to have my teeth cleaned / any excess glue buffed off.
I'm sure you can already see where I'm going with this.
When I went in and sat next to my grandfather, I clipped the sunglasses onto the strap on my bag. I was called through, had my teeth cleaned, came back out and grabbed my bag from my grandpa and we left. As he passed me the bag I looked at the sunglasses and thought "I need to move those off the strap or I'll lose them" and then put away my appointment card...
Shit, hang on, I just remembered something, I need to call the office again. I'm such a fucking retard.
Nope, no dice.
Anyway. I walked down the stairs, through the X-Ray Reception (which is right inside the front doors, Orthodontics is upstairs) and outside. Once I was outside I realized shit, no sunglasses. So I dropped my bag and jacket next to my grandfather and literally ran back inside and upstairs, checking the floor and stairs on the way. When I got back to the reception I asked the people sitting around where we had been sat if they'd seen them, asked reception if they'd been handed in, nothing. Checked under the chairs and everything. In the sixty seconds it took me to walk downstairs and outside, they completely disappeared.
IE: someone fucking took them and refused to speak up when I asked where they had gone. Thieving fucking bitches.
Just now, I thought I'd figured it out. When I asked reception if they'd been handed in she said "No, dear, but you can go back and see if you dropped them by the hygienist's area earlier?" and I said no, because I hadn't taken my bag in with me when I went in. BUT, when I came out the hygienist forgot to give me my appointment card and for the life of me I can't remember if I had my bag when I went back to get the appointment card before leaving. So just now I called the office and asked if they'd been found but no such luck. =[
Again. Thieving fucking bitches.
So, I'm not happy. I'm tired and I lost the £17 sunglasses I've had for all of nine fucking days. Sure, it could be worse, it could have been a more expensive pair of designer sunglasses, but god damn it, I don't care.
Anyway I should get some work done. This is pretty long =/
Oh on that note I have no idea what I weigh because my scale was not deemed Priority to be brought across this weekend. And I kind of don't want to know. Last time I checked I was back to 198 and this weekend, although it's been hectic with the moving, I had a bacon sandwich on Saturday after moving (it was the only thing we had in the house, granny was cooking for us movers, and I was RAVENOUS after moving shit all morning) and an ice cream cone yesterday so things are probably bad. I Could cry right now even though I don't KNOW.
My official weigh-in day will be this Friday. And good or bad I will post it. Because I report to YOU guys. It kind of helps me stay on track, you know? Like, I feel ashamed if I'm reporting bad news to you, so I have to struggle to have only good to say. That hasn't been the case lately, which is why I avoided the scale for a while I think. But avoiding the issue doesn't make it better, it just makes me in denial. So I need to weigh in and get on with this shit.
GOOD NEWS: J got her date through for the surgery - June 10th. She started her yogurt-and-milk diet yesterday. Which means NO MORE FUCKING FAST FOOD which means it should now be easier for me to get back into restricting too. Yay!
Besides. If she's doing this diet, people can't tell me off for not eating enough, can they? Her surgeon even SAID "normal people can do this diet to lose weight, too" although he did say they should have slimfast instead of just milk, and shouldn't do it EVERY day. Still.
I must remember to buy a load of yogurts. I could easily live off a yogurt for lunch and a yogurt for dinner, and that's only 200 calories combined. So it could totally be worse.
I'm looking forward to it =]
And the money I save will help pay for the TV I need lol.
Later, lovemonkeys!
Vee xoxox
Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been really stressed and busy, as we moved into our new house on Saturday. I spent ALL day on Friday packing (I've only lived in this country for 5 years where the FUCK did all this SHIT come from?? I have enough stuff to furnish a 3-bedroom house on my own, I swear to god), and I'm SO GLAD I took Friday off work. I wasn't going to bother, I thought I'd just leave work early at 4 and spend the night packing. But I packed from 10:30 in the morning and didn't finish until around 8 in the evening. And then I still had a couple things to finish up before we actually moved on Saturday morning.
The house right now is a shambles. Most of the stuff has been moved into the new house, there are just a few things at the old place still (like a couple bags of books, a plastic bag full of old handbags, another bag full of my Film Cell collection (I say collection, I think I have four film cells total so it's hardly a "collection" - for those who are interested, I have the Blade Trilogy, Silent Hill, The Nightmare Before Christmas (OMFGLOVE) and got a small coaster-size Edward Scissorhands one for Christmas. I NEED to get a Fight Club and Choke film cell too... and a Nightmare on Elm Street one would be FABULOUS but we'll see I guess). Our computers are still there but I'm bringing mine home tonight after work and my aunt's leaving hers there for if we need the internet for something until it's been switched to the new house. As of right now we have no interwebs at the new house at all, and AOL (I know, it's Satan's Spawn) said it'll be up to 20 days to get it switched over. Suckage.
SO my updates will be a little sporatic, and I probably won't get around to the Summer2009 challenge in time, but it'll get up there eventually.
So anyway. My bedroom, is bigger. The SPACE is amazing, even though I still have *counts* about 7 boxes in my room right now that need to be unpacked plus the gaming chair my aunt and I bought last year (which is fucking not staying in my room, we bought it to put in the living room, NOT to shove in my room, I don't have THAT much space!) Once the boxes are unpacked I need to bring my big solid wood chest up and I think that is all.
The best news? The treadmill is officially in my bedroom! And it JUST fits between the side of my wardrobe and the wall so I don't have to have it sticking out in the middle of the room. Thank god for inventing foldable exercise equipment. I haven't used it yet as things are so cluttered and I can't even unfold it at this point, but once the boxes are out of the way I'm planning to spend an hour a night on it. I'll have to start walking since my fitness levels are shit-tastic right now, but eventually I want to work my way up to jogging the entire time. I inspected it last night and it DOES have a calorie calculator and a pulse rate thingy in there too, which is something I didn't think it had, so huzzah for that.
Also, I "acquired" a couple Zumba DVDs since I've heard a lot of good things about it. Now that my computer isn't going to be in my bedroom I can't just play them on there and work out, so I think I'll have to burn a few DVDs to keep in my bedroom.
Which reminds me, I need to get a new TV. We're getting Sky installed in the next couple of weeks (for those of you in the US, Sky is like satellite/digital cable. Without it, we have literally only 5 channels, and even that's only with an antenna and if your reception area is amazing.) and I'm getting it setup in my room. And the TV I have right now is crap. It's got a tiny screen, and it's pretty old so it's an old CRT (damn my physics classes, everytime I see or hear or write CRT I flash back to high school when I learned what a Cathode Ray Tube is and how it works and electron firing blah blah. God it's so boring living in my head) and is therefore large and clunky and heavy for what it is. And the DVD player in it doesn't work. Last night while I was doing my hair, I was bored out of my mind. I'm used to reading something on the internet or watching TV/movie on my computer while doing my hair, but without the computer there was nothing to do. So I plugged the fucker in and grabbed one of my aunt's DVDs (yeah for some reason her box of DVDs is in my bedroom, don't ask why because I've no idea) and put it in. And I had to eject and put it back in eight times and blow into the drive a billion times before the bastarding thing would read the disk. SO NOT WORTH THE EFFORT
SO I'll probably just buy a smallish, cheapish flat-screen and have it mounted on my wall, and then get some shelves set up for my XBOX and Sky box and DVD player.
This moving thing is costing so much money, haha.
Bleh, also? This weekend has been hell because I have not slept more than maybe eight collective hours all weekend. I'm the type of person who needs dark and quiet in order to sleep. Once I'm out I can be a bit of a heavy sleeper, or I can be the lightest sleeper in the world, it entirely depends. But I can NOT get to sleep if there is any noise or light. I suffer from insomnia that gets worse at times, and then gets slightly better - but I honestly can not remember the last time I slept a full, straight, uninterrupted 8 hours and woke up feeling refreshed. I am ALWAYS tired.
Anyway I'm digressing.
While packing the last of the big furniture from my bedroom, our friend SR (I'm going to need to put a name legend on the sidebar) asked if we were taking the curtains. Keep in mind that the curtains in my room at the old house cost around £60. They fit my silvery decor, and were fully lined and heavy so they did a damn good job of blocking out any outside light. I paid for them and my aunt is in the process of paying me back for them (along with the £240 carpet we had installed in my room last May). Anyway. My aunt said no, we're not taking the curtains, because she thinks my cat's caught it and pulled a few threads. Also she didn't want to take the curtains because then it would be obvious to outsiders nobody was living there, and the old house is in a neighbourhood where people slash tires knowing full well that people are in the house upstairs with the lights on, so you can imagine what empty houses are like. And there are still valuables in there.
At first, I didn't think of the whole "Light makes my face melt off!" situation. My aunt's sister in law made matching curtains for every room, so there are some nice curtains in my room already that match the wallpaper and carpet - which reminds me, why the fuck did I think the carpet was terra cotta? It's a neutral brown. It must have been reflecting the ghastly rose colour of the old wardrobes or something. BUT of course, after I finally managed to fall asleep, I was WIDE AWAKE at 5:15 in the morning when the sun was STREAMING in and shining full force on my bed. The curtains are made of a very light, gauzy fabric, like tulle or chiffon. They stop basically nothing whatsoever. Same deal this morning. BAD TIMES.
So I brought this up and my aunt said that while we can't take the old curtains yet, she'll find an old sheet or something to cover the window with to help me out in the meantime.
What else?
Oh yeah, this morning my aunt also mentioned we'd have to move my bed away from the wall. Right now it's pressed against the corner so that the head end of my bed is pressed against the wall between my room and my aunts' room, and she said when I turn over the bed is somehow making a banging sound against the wall. So she said to move it down. Except I have no headboard so I can't, if I move the bed my pillows fall off the end - at the old house I had to move my mattress back up flush with the wall EVERY night otherwise my feather pillow was swallowed up in the chasm. SO I have to find somewhere else to put the bed, which is a pain. Possibly just turning it so the side of the bed is a couple inches from the wall and the head is against the outside wall.
Sorry, I'm just thinking out loud at this point.
Ok now I need to bitch. Big time.
Last weekend I went shopping with my good friend S (it's her birthday on Friday, she's turning 19, and this makes me feel very old because jesus, am I REALLY four years older than her?!?!?!) and I bought two pairs of really nice sunglasses from River Island. This morning I wore my favourite pair (which are a pink plastic on the inside and black plastic on the ouside, and there's a flowery design on the sides where you can see the pink through and they're so nice and I love them) when I went to my orthodontist to have my teeth cleaned / any excess glue buffed off.
I'm sure you can already see where I'm going with this.
When I went in and sat next to my grandfather, I clipped the sunglasses onto the strap on my bag. I was called through, had my teeth cleaned, came back out and grabbed my bag from my grandpa and we left. As he passed me the bag I looked at the sunglasses and thought "I need to move those off the strap or I'll lose them" and then put away my appointment card...
Shit, hang on, I just remembered something, I need to call the office again. I'm such a fucking retard.
Nope, no dice.
Anyway. I walked down the stairs, through the X-Ray Reception (which is right inside the front doors, Orthodontics is upstairs) and outside. Once I was outside I realized shit, no sunglasses. So I dropped my bag and jacket next to my grandfather and literally ran back inside and upstairs, checking the floor and stairs on the way. When I got back to the reception I asked the people sitting around where we had been sat if they'd seen them, asked reception if they'd been handed in, nothing. Checked under the chairs and everything. In the sixty seconds it took me to walk downstairs and outside, they completely disappeared.
IE: someone fucking took them and refused to speak up when I asked where they had gone. Thieving fucking bitches.
Just now, I thought I'd figured it out. When I asked reception if they'd been handed in she said "No, dear, but you can go back and see if you dropped them by the hygienist's area earlier?" and I said no, because I hadn't taken my bag in with me when I went in. BUT, when I came out the hygienist forgot to give me my appointment card and for the life of me I can't remember if I had my bag when I went back to get the appointment card before leaving. So just now I called the office and asked if they'd been found but no such luck. =[
Again. Thieving fucking bitches.
So, I'm not happy. I'm tired and I lost the £17 sunglasses I've had for all of nine fucking days. Sure, it could be worse, it could have been a more expensive pair of designer sunglasses, but god damn it, I don't care.
Anyway I should get some work done. This is pretty long =/
Oh on that note I have no idea what I weigh because my scale was not deemed Priority to be brought across this weekend. And I kind of don't want to know. Last time I checked I was back to 198 and this weekend, although it's been hectic with the moving, I had a bacon sandwich on Saturday after moving (it was the only thing we had in the house, granny was cooking for us movers, and I was RAVENOUS after moving shit all morning) and an ice cream cone yesterday so things are probably bad. I Could cry right now even though I don't KNOW.
My official weigh-in day will be this Friday. And good or bad I will post it. Because I report to YOU guys. It kind of helps me stay on track, you know? Like, I feel ashamed if I'm reporting bad news to you, so I have to struggle to have only good to say. That hasn't been the case lately, which is why I avoided the scale for a while I think. But avoiding the issue doesn't make it better, it just makes me in denial. So I need to weigh in and get on with this shit.
GOOD NEWS: J got her date through for the surgery - June 10th. She started her yogurt-and-milk diet yesterday. Which means NO MORE FUCKING FAST FOOD which means it should now be easier for me to get back into restricting too. Yay!
Besides. If she's doing this diet, people can't tell me off for not eating enough, can they? Her surgeon even SAID "normal people can do this diet to lose weight, too" although he did say they should have slimfast instead of just milk, and shouldn't do it EVERY day. Still.
I must remember to buy a load of yogurts. I could easily live off a yogurt for lunch and a yogurt for dinner, and that's only 200 calories combined. So it could totally be worse.
I'm looking forward to it =]
And the money I save will help pay for the TV I need lol.
Later, lovemonkeys!
Vee xoxox
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