So. Today? Not a good day. Not the worst day ever, but definitely a bad one.
Last night I moved some stuff around in my bedroom and unpacked a couple of boxes, started putting makeup and clothes and things away. The room already looks a ton bigger and I've only taken out three boxes. But anyway, I'm glad progress is finally being made. After work yesterday we had to hit the mall to see the people at the Sky counter set up there to go about signing up for a new package at the new house (the dude there told us just to cancel the old one and sign up at the new house under J's name instead, and we're getting a free Sky plus box, a free standard box for my bedroom, free installation next Wednesday, and our subscription is free for the first 3 months, normally £56, woot) and we didn't get back until after 9 so I was going to just go to bed. After I'd gotten ready to go to bed, I was going to watch an episode of something on my computer and then go to sleep, but at the last minute I had a burst of energy (completely unexpected) so I unpacked instead. Yay!
Of course, today yet again, I was wide awake at 5 and feel like I haven't slept at all. I'm hoping once the treadmill is freed from it's boxed-in corner and I can properly workout, my body will be tired enough to actually sleep through a fucking night. We'll see, but fingers are crossed.
So, I got out some of my old work trousers. And that's where the bad times start.
I bought these trousers probably the first couple of months I lived in England, so we're talking Summer 2004 when I was at my highest weight ever. At the time, they were very tight and I was in fucking denial and refused to buy the next size up. I'm amazed they've lasted, seriously.
Anyway, at the end of 2007 when I broke up with my ex, I had a terribly bad time that did wonders for my figure. I had no appetite and I was being sick every time I ate anything at all - mostly it was entirely involuntary but I will admit that more than once or twice while brushing my teeth in the morning I'd stick the brush back a little further than it needed to go to help matters along. This went on from October until probably May in varying degrees. Between the end of October and Christmas I'd lost 30lbs, just over 2 stone. And I felt amazing. It got to the point where these work trousers were literally falling off. I wasn't skinny by any means, I still weighed around 172lbs, but I was a lot thinner than I had been in years (my weight has been a struggle, always up and down, but usually hovering above 180 since I was 16, which is when it was packed on in the first place). It was to the point where, whenever I walked to the printer from my desk at work, I would have to hold them up, because every step made them shimmy down just a little more.
Eventually I had to buy some a size smaller, and even they were loose. Of course, now they fit okay instead of being loose, not too tight but definitely not how they were (at the time I could fit into the next size down but they were a bit tight and uncomfortable so I had to get the size up, which was just one size down instead of two). It was that "new" pair that split the other night. So last night I got out the older ones, a size bigger.
And they fucking fit the same as the old ones do. I am so fucking depressed because of this, it's unreal. I mean my UK size 18 trousers fit me like my UK size 16s do. How the fuck does that make sense? I know for a fact these trousers are bigger than the other ones, because I purposely bought some that fit tighter.
So I can only assume that I'm even fatter than I thought I was, that the size 16s fit the same as the 18s do because they've been gradually stretched the fuck out by my fat ass.
My mood is completely shit right now and I'm more determined than ever. I will see 175 by the end of summer, so help me God. Ana will help me. She will take my hand and guide me. And she will finally help me to find my smile again.
Vee
Thursday, 4 June 2009
Wednesday, 3 June 2009
Summer Challenge 2009
I'm a bit late on this one, since the challenge officially started back on May 10th, but so much has been going on I haven't really gotten around to it. I'm not going to make excuses either, and I know I'm gained weight. Probably more than I thought I had. I dread to think what my scale is going to say.
And that's one reason this Challenge is a fantastic idea! Motivation, motivation, motivation. And it's something to be done as a GROUP too.
So, here's my stats:
Age: 23
Current Weight: Last KNOWN weight was 198lbs. I'll update once I know for sure.
Goal Weight Loss: 30lbs
Personal Goal: Do either 30+ minutes on the treadmill or Zumba workout at least 6 nights a week (one night a week allowed off to allow for possible migraine interference). Also to complete Level 1 and half of Level 2 of my computer Japanese course.
Biggest Challenges: Work - avoid the canteen at all costs. Going to Manchester on June 19th and there will probably be eating out involved. So the biggest challenge is going to be forcing myself to keep to the game even when I'm out with friends.
Anything else you want to add: Nothing really at this point. I'm just posting this as a starting point, since I don't think I ever really got around to it yet.
You can join in anytime before June 10th by going HERE
And that's one reason this Challenge is a fantastic idea! Motivation, motivation, motivation. And it's something to be done as a GROUP too.
So, here's my stats:
Age: 23
Current Weight: Last KNOWN weight was 198lbs. I'll update once I know for sure.
Goal Weight Loss: 30lbs
Personal Goal: Do either 30+ minutes on the treadmill or Zumba workout at least 6 nights a week (one night a week allowed off to allow for possible migraine interference). Also to complete Level 1 and half of Level 2 of my computer Japanese course.
Biggest Challenges: Work - avoid the canteen at all costs. Going to Manchester on June 19th and there will probably be eating out involved. So the biggest challenge is going to be forcing myself to keep to the game even when I'm out with friends.
Anything else you want to add: Nothing really at this point. I'm just posting this as a starting point, since I don't think I ever really got around to it yet.
You can join in anytime before June 10th by going HERE
Pic Not Related
I need to stop using lame random internet phrases completely out of context.
What I mean is, this entry is unrelated to the usual subject matter of my blog. Although technically I guess my blog isn't about any one thing in particular, just me... which is predominantly my struggles with food. But I'm digressing. Getting off topic on an off topic post, how much do I rock?
So basically I want to know what your favourite music is! Your favourite bands or artists, your favourite fad-songs of the moment and the old faves you just can't turn away from and keep going back to time and again. I also want your guilty pleasures! What are you embarassed to admit to secretly loving? Or what otherwise unbearable music has wormed its way into your heart?
I ask because, well, music is something I'm passionate about, even though I'm kind of a musictard. I generally have no idea what's out and "hip" now because I don't watch much (if any) TV, and I never listen to the radio. So the music I listen to can tend to just be the same stuff, or new stuff by the same artists. Unless somebody recommends something awesome to me.
So, my favourite bands (along with some of my favourite songs by them), not necessarily in any particular order:
Muse
--Muscle Museum, Map of the Problematique, Stockholm Syndrome
Placebo
--Protege Moi, Nancy Boy, Lady of the Flowers, Post Blue, Infra-Red. They also re-recorded their single Without You I'm Nothing with David Bowie. Bowie wrote a harmony to go with the song and they recorded it together and it's fucking amazing.
AFI (A Fire Inside)
--Summer Shudder, This Time Imperfect, Silver And Cold, Girl's Not Grey, Love Like Winter, Miss Murder
Blaqk Audio
--Stiff Kittens, Snuff on Digital, Bitter For Sweet, (the whole album is phenomenal)
Billy Talent
--Nothing To Lose, Devil In A Midnight Mass, Surrender, Pins And Needles
Death Cab For Cutie
--Summer Skin, Movie Script Ending, Title And Registration, Tiny Vessels
Le Tigre
--DECEPTACON (one of my favourite songs ever), TKO, Hot Topic, Fake French, I'm So Excited (cover of the "classic" song)
Marilyn Manson
--The Nobodies, Heart-Shaped Glasses, We're From America, Leave A Scar, Sweet Dreams, This Is The New Shit
Green Day
--Good Riddance, American Idiot, Hitchin' A Ride, Brain Stew, Boulevard Of Broken Dreams, Wake Me Up When September Ends
Martin Grech
--Open Heart Zoo (if you're a fan of Tim Burton movie soundtracks / Danny Elfman's music, listen to this), Here It Comes, Erosion & Regeneration
The Yeah Yeah Yeahs
--Maps, Gold Lion, Black Tongue, Tick
Michael Jackson (I was obsessed with him when I was a kid and it wouldn't be fair not to include him in this list. Let's face it, he might be a total whack-job, but the man is fucking legendary)
My Guilty Pleasures:
Savage Garden - Another band I was obsessed with in my teens. In fact, I'm pretty sure their second album Affirmation was the first CD I ever bought (purchased at the same time as I bought the Sailor Moon Series 1 Soundtrack, haha)
J-Pop - Yeah. Sugary Japanese pop music aimed primarily at kids. I can't help it, it's catchy and it's cute, and they're all gorgeous and skinny. Particular groups of note: Mini Moni, W (two members of Mini Moni), Yaguchi Mari (Ex-Leader of Mini Moni). I swear to god. Youtube any song by Mini Moni and you will be ready to have me committed. My current favourite is the song "Samidare Koi Uta" by the band W (Double You). Honestly, youtube it right now. I'm already wincing in anticipation.
Hanson - Not old-school MmmBop Hanson (I bet I've just ruined your day by even mentioning that song). A few years ago they came out with an album called This Time Around, where they were trying to put off a more rock-and-roll persona and taking themselves very seriously. At the time I was in either Junior High or High School and I was in LOVE with Taylor Hanson. I still get a couple of the songs stuck in my head every so often now. Songs of note are A Song To Sing and Save Me
Danny Elfman - You might not know that you know who Danny Elfman is, but if you've ever seen a movie by Tim Burton (such as Edward Scissorhands or Sweeney Todd) you've heard his work. Danny Elfman is a composer who does the soundtracks to I think EVERY Tim Burton movie (Yes, including Charlie and the Chocolate Factory). He also did the theme song for The Simpsons. Yep. Anyway, I'm completely in love with his style. It's so eerie and dark and beautiful at the same time. His music completely MADE The Nightmare Before Christmas, in my opinion. This isn't really a GUILTY pleasure since it's general knowledge that I love Danny Elfman and Tim Burton, but it didn't really fit under Favourite Bands, either. I've got the Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack on my iPod and listened to the whole thing on the bus this morning. And it put such a smile on my face, I bet the other people thought I was listening to prank phone calls or animal porn.
This has also reminded me that I'll be putting a playlist around somewhere. I don't really have any thinspo songs like a lot of you girls do, so it'll just be music that is close to my heart and that I want to share with you =].
What I mean is, this entry is unrelated to the usual subject matter of my blog. Although technically I guess my blog isn't about any one thing in particular, just me... which is predominantly my struggles with food. But I'm digressing. Getting off topic on an off topic post, how much do I rock?
So basically I want to know what your favourite music is! Your favourite bands or artists, your favourite fad-songs of the moment and the old faves you just can't turn away from and keep going back to time and again. I also want your guilty pleasures! What are you embarassed to admit to secretly loving? Or what otherwise unbearable music has wormed its way into your heart?
I ask because, well, music is something I'm passionate about, even though I'm kind of a musictard. I generally have no idea what's out and "hip" now because I don't watch much (if any) TV, and I never listen to the radio. So the music I listen to can tend to just be the same stuff, or new stuff by the same artists. Unless somebody recommends something awesome to me.
So, my favourite bands (along with some of my favourite songs by them), not necessarily in any particular order:
Muse
--Muscle Museum, Map of the Problematique, Stockholm Syndrome
Placebo
--Protege Moi, Nancy Boy, Lady of the Flowers, Post Blue, Infra-Red. They also re-recorded their single Without You I'm Nothing with David Bowie. Bowie wrote a harmony to go with the song and they recorded it together and it's fucking amazing.
AFI (A Fire Inside)
--Summer Shudder, This Time Imperfect, Silver And Cold, Girl's Not Grey, Love Like Winter, Miss Murder
Blaqk Audio
--Stiff Kittens, Snuff on Digital, Bitter For Sweet, (the whole album is phenomenal)
Billy Talent
--Nothing To Lose, Devil In A Midnight Mass, Surrender, Pins And Needles
Death Cab For Cutie
--Summer Skin, Movie Script Ending, Title And Registration, Tiny Vessels
Le Tigre
--DECEPTACON (one of my favourite songs ever), TKO, Hot Topic, Fake French, I'm So Excited (cover of the "classic" song)
Marilyn Manson
--The Nobodies, Heart-Shaped Glasses, We're From America, Leave A Scar, Sweet Dreams, This Is The New Shit
Green Day
--Good Riddance, American Idiot, Hitchin' A Ride, Brain Stew, Boulevard Of Broken Dreams, Wake Me Up When September Ends
Martin Grech
--Open Heart Zoo (if you're a fan of Tim Burton movie soundtracks / Danny Elfman's music, listen to this), Here It Comes, Erosion & Regeneration
The Yeah Yeah Yeahs
--Maps, Gold Lion, Black Tongue, Tick
Michael Jackson (I was obsessed with him when I was a kid and it wouldn't be fair not to include him in this list. Let's face it, he might be a total whack-job, but the man is fucking legendary)
My Guilty Pleasures:
Savage Garden - Another band I was obsessed with in my teens. In fact, I'm pretty sure their second album Affirmation was the first CD I ever bought (purchased at the same time as I bought the Sailor Moon Series 1 Soundtrack, haha)
J-Pop - Yeah. Sugary Japanese pop music aimed primarily at kids. I can't help it, it's catchy and it's cute, and they're all gorgeous and skinny. Particular groups of note: Mini Moni, W (two members of Mini Moni), Yaguchi Mari (Ex-Leader of Mini Moni). I swear to god. Youtube any song by Mini Moni and you will be ready to have me committed. My current favourite is the song "Samidare Koi Uta" by the band W (Double You). Honestly, youtube it right now. I'm already wincing in anticipation.
Hanson - Not old-school MmmBop Hanson (I bet I've just ruined your day by even mentioning that song). A few years ago they came out with an album called This Time Around, where they were trying to put off a more rock-and-roll persona and taking themselves very seriously. At the time I was in either Junior High or High School and I was in LOVE with Taylor Hanson. I still get a couple of the songs stuck in my head every so often now. Songs of note are A Song To Sing and Save Me
Danny Elfman - You might not know that you know who Danny Elfman is, but if you've ever seen a movie by Tim Burton (such as Edward Scissorhands or Sweeney Todd) you've heard his work. Danny Elfman is a composer who does the soundtracks to I think EVERY Tim Burton movie (Yes, including Charlie and the Chocolate Factory). He also did the theme song for The Simpsons. Yep. Anyway, I'm completely in love with his style. It's so eerie and dark and beautiful at the same time. His music completely MADE The Nightmare Before Christmas, in my opinion. This isn't really a GUILTY pleasure since it's general knowledge that I love Danny Elfman and Tim Burton, but it didn't really fit under Favourite Bands, either. I've got the Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack on my iPod and listened to the whole thing on the bus this morning. And it put such a smile on my face, I bet the other people thought I was listening to prank phone calls or animal porn.
This has also reminded me that I'll be putting a playlist around somewhere. I don't really have any thinspo songs like a lot of you girls do, so it'll just be music that is close to my heart and that I want to share with you =].
Fuck
Last night I received the final bit of motivation I needed to get back on track fully.
After work I met J at the old house so we could pick up a few more small things to take back to the new house. I had to get the hanger pole things and the last 2 drawers for my wardrobe. I put a couple extra small things in it and bent over to pick them up off the floor - and the fucking seam in my work trousers split.
Embarassing and pissed-off-making.
I wouldn't say they fit any tighter than they did a week, two weeks, three weeks ago or anything. And it might be wear and tear since I've been wearing them constantly (well not CONSTANTLY, I'm not a grodey girl, but a lot of wearing, washing, and ironing) for the past year and a half.
But it was still horrible and made me feel ridiculously fat assed.
So, that was that.
Today my meal plan is as follows:
1/2 Strawberry SlimFast shake for Breakfast
1/2 Strawberry SlimFast shake for Lunch
At home, my aunt bought a small pizza to cook for dinner and the best before date is today. If she cooks it, I'll have a piece and cut my losses and not have anything else. If she forgets then yay we can throw them away and I can have a yogurt instead =]
If I can do the yogurt, it will get my total daily calorie intake down to 312. Tomorrow will be probably nothing at work at all, and then a 350-kcal frozen weight watcher's meal at home. Right now we don't have a lot of food at home, which is good and bad. Good because yay not much food! Bad because there's no "healthy" food. Our freezer has some frozen meals in it, which aren't too bad, since they're all under 400 calories per serving. And if that's all I have in a day, then that's just fine. But I would rather have fruit and yogurt. I might buy some stuff to make lettuce soup this week too, becaue at 35 calories a bowl you can not go wrong.
The only problem being that our stove is apparently totally fucked. The oven has two settings that work: Off and Hot As The Pits Of Hell (also known to the layman as "full blast") and the electric hob works randomly or not at all. Sigh.
I'd like to try some kind of new diet. Like a raw food diet. The problem is, I know I'd get bored. I'm kind of tempted to "Go Vegan" because it gives me more sway with the family if anyone questions what I'm eating but... the truth is, I probably couldn't. Cheese is something I don't eat very often, but it's still there for an occasional treat.
Although, that's probably my problem right there. I need to not bank on having that occasional treat.
Anyway, tonight will be a busy night. I need to get my ass in gear and unpack. I put it off last night because I had a killer fucking headache and I had to wash-dry-straighten my hair which took forever. It's looking daunting because half the shit in my room isn't even mine. The gaming chair, the box of DVDs, the DVD player, all belong in my aunt's room or the Office. But the office still has boxes in it. Fuck it, I'm moving that shit out anyway, I need it out of my room. Because the boxes that I need to unpack are in front of all the drawers that I need to unpack them INTO. God.
Did I mention I fucking hate moving?
But I need to get unpacked. Not just because I don't know where anything is (seriously, I can't remember which box has my makeup removers and cotton balls in them, so I had to buy some new makeup remover but forgot cotton balls. And toilet paper leaves bits of its fibres everywhere and gets in your eyes and it sucks. Ugh), but so I can get the treadmill out. I'm looking forward to it.
And I'm kind of looking forward to the possibility of HAVING to walk a mile to and from my bus stop in the morning. Next Wednesday J is having her operation and will be off work for I think 8 weeks, so she won't be driving me to the stop in the morning. My aunt rarely works early shifts, so I won't be able to grab a ride with her either. So that leaves me only the option of walking.
Pros:
Exercise! YAAAAAY!
Cons:
Having to do it in work clothes and shoes
Rain
Nowhere to shower afterward if I get sweaty
I mean, I realize it's only a mile but I'd rather speedwalk and get my heartrate up than spend two hours on a leisurely stroll. Plus my handbag is huge and fucking heavy so it's like speedwalking with a lead weight over one shoulder hehe.
But I digress. When I get home tonight I must also remember to burn those Zumba DVDs so I can get my aerobics on.
Wow. Isn't it funny how a blog entry can totally change your perspective? When I started I was feeling all depressed and pissed off. Now I'm excited about upcoming exercise woot!
Oh also, more excitedness!
Muse is playing in my city in November! <3 I found out this morning and emailed my good buddy S and I'm booking our tickets Friday morning as soon as they go on sale. TOTALLY STOKED! Also preordered their new CD. And Placebo's new CD which is out on Monday. Love!
Sigh. I missed the last Placebo concert in May because it was the day my aunts left for Spain and I had shit to do. Placebo is also playing Manchester in December, but unfortunately I'm in Cancun when they're doing their UK tour dates. Green Day is totally sold out. So I'm not happy about that. But I've been dying to see Muse for EVER (I've been dying to see Green Day too but whatever, and I've already seen Placebo twice, even though they are AMAZING live and I need to see them again) so that's perked me right up.
I'm hoping Marilyn Manson will announce another tour soon, what with the release of his new album The High End Of Low (which is pretty good by the way. My favourite track is We're From America, which is fucking hilarious in a sarcastically offensive kind of way)
Have a great one darlings!
Vee xox
After work I met J at the old house so we could pick up a few more small things to take back to the new house. I had to get the hanger pole things and the last 2 drawers for my wardrobe. I put a couple extra small things in it and bent over to pick them up off the floor - and the fucking seam in my work trousers split.
Embarassing and pissed-off-making.
I wouldn't say they fit any tighter than they did a week, two weeks, three weeks ago or anything. And it might be wear and tear since I've been wearing them constantly (well not CONSTANTLY, I'm not a grodey girl, but a lot of wearing, washing, and ironing) for the past year and a half.
But it was still horrible and made me feel ridiculously fat assed.
So, that was that.
Today my meal plan is as follows:
1/2 Strawberry SlimFast shake for Breakfast
1/2 Strawberry SlimFast shake for Lunch
At home, my aunt bought a small pizza to cook for dinner and the best before date is today. If she cooks it, I'll have a piece and cut my losses and not have anything else. If she forgets then yay we can throw them away and I can have a yogurt instead =]
If I can do the yogurt, it will get my total daily calorie intake down to 312. Tomorrow will be probably nothing at work at all, and then a 350-kcal frozen weight watcher's meal at home. Right now we don't have a lot of food at home, which is good and bad. Good because yay not much food! Bad because there's no "healthy" food. Our freezer has some frozen meals in it, which aren't too bad, since they're all under 400 calories per serving. And if that's all I have in a day, then that's just fine. But I would rather have fruit and yogurt. I might buy some stuff to make lettuce soup this week too, becaue at 35 calories a bowl you can not go wrong.
The only problem being that our stove is apparently totally fucked. The oven has two settings that work: Off and Hot As The Pits Of Hell (also known to the layman as "full blast") and the electric hob works randomly or not at all. Sigh.
I'd like to try some kind of new diet. Like a raw food diet. The problem is, I know I'd get bored. I'm kind of tempted to "Go Vegan" because it gives me more sway with the family if anyone questions what I'm eating but... the truth is, I probably couldn't. Cheese is something I don't eat very often, but it's still there for an occasional treat.
Although, that's probably my problem right there. I need to not bank on having that occasional treat.
Anyway, tonight will be a busy night. I need to get my ass in gear and unpack. I put it off last night because I had a killer fucking headache and I had to wash-dry-straighten my hair which took forever. It's looking daunting because half the shit in my room isn't even mine. The gaming chair, the box of DVDs, the DVD player, all belong in my aunt's room or the Office. But the office still has boxes in it. Fuck it, I'm moving that shit out anyway, I need it out of my room. Because the boxes that I need to unpack are in front of all the drawers that I need to unpack them INTO. God.
Did I mention I fucking hate moving?
But I need to get unpacked. Not just because I don't know where anything is (seriously, I can't remember which box has my makeup removers and cotton balls in them, so I had to buy some new makeup remover but forgot cotton balls. And toilet paper leaves bits of its fibres everywhere and gets in your eyes and it sucks. Ugh), but so I can get the treadmill out. I'm looking forward to it.
And I'm kind of looking forward to the possibility of HAVING to walk a mile to and from my bus stop in the morning. Next Wednesday J is having her operation and will be off work for I think 8 weeks, so she won't be driving me to the stop in the morning. My aunt rarely works early shifts, so I won't be able to grab a ride with her either. So that leaves me only the option of walking.
Pros:
Exercise! YAAAAAY!
Cons:
Having to do it in work clothes and shoes
Rain
Nowhere to shower afterward if I get sweaty
I mean, I realize it's only a mile but I'd rather speedwalk and get my heartrate up than spend two hours on a leisurely stroll. Plus my handbag is huge and fucking heavy so it's like speedwalking with a lead weight over one shoulder hehe.
But I digress. When I get home tonight I must also remember to burn those Zumba DVDs so I can get my aerobics on.
Wow. Isn't it funny how a blog entry can totally change your perspective? When I started I was feeling all depressed and pissed off. Now I'm excited about upcoming exercise woot!
Oh also, more excitedness!
Muse is playing in my city in November! <3 I found out this morning and emailed my good buddy S and I'm booking our tickets Friday morning as soon as they go on sale. TOTALLY STOKED! Also preordered their new CD. And Placebo's new CD which is out on Monday. Love!
Sigh. I missed the last Placebo concert in May because it was the day my aunts left for Spain and I had shit to do. Placebo is also playing Manchester in December, but unfortunately I'm in Cancun when they're doing their UK tour dates. Green Day is totally sold out. So I'm not happy about that. But I've been dying to see Muse for EVER (I've been dying to see Green Day too but whatever, and I've already seen Placebo twice, even though they are AMAZING live and I need to see them again) so that's perked me right up.
I'm hoping Marilyn Manson will announce another tour soon, what with the release of his new album The High End Of Low (which is pretty good by the way. My favourite track is We're From America, which is fucking hilarious in a sarcastically offensive kind of way)
Have a great one darlings!
Vee xox
Monday, 1 June 2009
Oh, also!
Just another thanks to everyone who voted in my poll. Right now I have a treadmill, but that's because it's free. Eventually when I can afford it I'll be getting a cross-trainer too, so thanks for your input ladies. You rock and I adore you all <3
Shittalicious
Just a quick update of sorts.
Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been really stressed and busy, as we moved into our new house on Saturday. I spent ALL day on Friday packing (I've only lived in this country for 5 years where the FUCK did all this SHIT come from?? I have enough stuff to furnish a 3-bedroom house on my own, I swear to god), and I'm SO GLAD I took Friday off work. I wasn't going to bother, I thought I'd just leave work early at 4 and spend the night packing. But I packed from 10:30 in the morning and didn't finish until around 8 in the evening. And then I still had a couple things to finish up before we actually moved on Saturday morning.
The house right now is a shambles. Most of the stuff has been moved into the new house, there are just a few things at the old place still (like a couple bags of books, a plastic bag full of old handbags, another bag full of my Film Cell collection (I say collection, I think I have four film cells total so it's hardly a "collection" - for those who are interested, I have the Blade Trilogy, Silent Hill, The Nightmare Before Christmas (OMFGLOVE) and got a small coaster-size Edward Scissorhands one for Christmas. I NEED to get a Fight Club and Choke film cell too... and a Nightmare on Elm Street one would be FABULOUS but we'll see I guess). Our computers are still there but I'm bringing mine home tonight after work and my aunt's leaving hers there for if we need the internet for something until it's been switched to the new house. As of right now we have no interwebs at the new house at all, and AOL (I know, it's Satan's Spawn) said it'll be up to 20 days to get it switched over. Suckage.
SO my updates will be a little sporatic, and I probably won't get around to the Summer2009 challenge in time, but it'll get up there eventually.
So anyway. My bedroom, is bigger. The SPACE is amazing, even though I still have *counts* about 7 boxes in my room right now that need to be unpacked plus the gaming chair my aunt and I bought last year (which is fucking not staying in my room, we bought it to put in the living room, NOT to shove in my room, I don't have THAT much space!) Once the boxes are unpacked I need to bring my big solid wood chest up and I think that is all.
The best news? The treadmill is officially in my bedroom! And it JUST fits between the side of my wardrobe and the wall so I don't have to have it sticking out in the middle of the room. Thank god for inventing foldable exercise equipment. I haven't used it yet as things are so cluttered and I can't even unfold it at this point, but once the boxes are out of the way I'm planning to spend an hour a night on it. I'll have to start walking since my fitness levels are shit-tastic right now, but eventually I want to work my way up to jogging the entire time. I inspected it last night and it DOES have a calorie calculator and a pulse rate thingy in there too, which is something I didn't think it had, so huzzah for that.
Also, I "acquired" a couple Zumba DVDs since I've heard a lot of good things about it. Now that my computer isn't going to be in my bedroom I can't just play them on there and work out, so I think I'll have to burn a few DVDs to keep in my bedroom.
Which reminds me, I need to get a new TV. We're getting Sky installed in the next couple of weeks (for those of you in the US, Sky is like satellite/digital cable. Without it, we have literally only 5 channels, and even that's only with an antenna and if your reception area is amazing.) and I'm getting it setup in my room. And the TV I have right now is crap. It's got a tiny screen, and it's pretty old so it's an old CRT (damn my physics classes, everytime I see or hear or write CRT I flash back to high school when I learned what a Cathode Ray Tube is and how it works and electron firing blah blah. God it's so boring living in my head) and is therefore large and clunky and heavy for what it is. And the DVD player in it doesn't work. Last night while I was doing my hair, I was bored out of my mind. I'm used to reading something on the internet or watching TV/movie on my computer while doing my hair, but without the computer there was nothing to do. So I plugged the fucker in and grabbed one of my aunt's DVDs (yeah for some reason her box of DVDs is in my bedroom, don't ask why because I've no idea) and put it in. And I had to eject and put it back in eight times and blow into the drive a billion times before the bastarding thing would read the disk. SO NOT WORTH THE EFFORT
SO I'll probably just buy a smallish, cheapish flat-screen and have it mounted on my wall, and then get some shelves set up for my XBOX and Sky box and DVD player.
This moving thing is costing so much money, haha.
Bleh, also? This weekend has been hell because I have not slept more than maybe eight collective hours all weekend. I'm the type of person who needs dark and quiet in order to sleep. Once I'm out I can be a bit of a heavy sleeper, or I can be the lightest sleeper in the world, it entirely depends. But I can NOT get to sleep if there is any noise or light. I suffer from insomnia that gets worse at times, and then gets slightly better - but I honestly can not remember the last time I slept a full, straight, uninterrupted 8 hours and woke up feeling refreshed. I am ALWAYS tired.
Anyway I'm digressing.
While packing the last of the big furniture from my bedroom, our friend SR (I'm going to need to put a name legend on the sidebar) asked if we were taking the curtains. Keep in mind that the curtains in my room at the old house cost around £60. They fit my silvery decor, and were fully lined and heavy so they did a damn good job of blocking out any outside light. I paid for them and my aunt is in the process of paying me back for them (along with the £240 carpet we had installed in my room last May). Anyway. My aunt said no, we're not taking the curtains, because she thinks my cat's caught it and pulled a few threads. Also she didn't want to take the curtains because then it would be obvious to outsiders nobody was living there, and the old house is in a neighbourhood where people slash tires knowing full well that people are in the house upstairs with the lights on, so you can imagine what empty houses are like. And there are still valuables in there.
At first, I didn't think of the whole "Light makes my face melt off!" situation. My aunt's sister in law made matching curtains for every room, so there are some nice curtains in my room already that match the wallpaper and carpet - which reminds me, why the fuck did I think the carpet was terra cotta? It's a neutral brown. It must have been reflecting the ghastly rose colour of the old wardrobes or something. BUT of course, after I finally managed to fall asleep, I was WIDE AWAKE at 5:15 in the morning when the sun was STREAMING in and shining full force on my bed. The curtains are made of a very light, gauzy fabric, like tulle or chiffon. They stop basically nothing whatsoever. Same deal this morning. BAD TIMES.
So I brought this up and my aunt said that while we can't take the old curtains yet, she'll find an old sheet or something to cover the window with to help me out in the meantime.
What else?
Oh yeah, this morning my aunt also mentioned we'd have to move my bed away from the wall. Right now it's pressed against the corner so that the head end of my bed is pressed against the wall between my room and my aunts' room, and she said when I turn over the bed is somehow making a banging sound against the wall. So she said to move it down. Except I have no headboard so I can't, if I move the bed my pillows fall off the end - at the old house I had to move my mattress back up flush with the wall EVERY night otherwise my feather pillow was swallowed up in the chasm. SO I have to find somewhere else to put the bed, which is a pain. Possibly just turning it so the side of the bed is a couple inches from the wall and the head is against the outside wall.
Sorry, I'm just thinking out loud at this point.
Ok now I need to bitch. Big time.
Last weekend I went shopping with my good friend S (it's her birthday on Friday, she's turning 19, and this makes me feel very old because jesus, am I REALLY four years older than her?!?!?!) and I bought two pairs of really nice sunglasses from River Island. This morning I wore my favourite pair (which are a pink plastic on the inside and black plastic on the ouside, and there's a flowery design on the sides where you can see the pink through and they're so nice and I love them) when I went to my orthodontist to have my teeth cleaned / any excess glue buffed off.
I'm sure you can already see where I'm going with this.
When I went in and sat next to my grandfather, I clipped the sunglasses onto the strap on my bag. I was called through, had my teeth cleaned, came back out and grabbed my bag from my grandpa and we left. As he passed me the bag I looked at the sunglasses and thought "I need to move those off the strap or I'll lose them" and then put away my appointment card...
Shit, hang on, I just remembered something, I need to call the office again. I'm such a fucking retard.
Nope, no dice.
Anyway. I walked down the stairs, through the X-Ray Reception (which is right inside the front doors, Orthodontics is upstairs) and outside. Once I was outside I realized shit, no sunglasses. So I dropped my bag and jacket next to my grandfather and literally ran back inside and upstairs, checking the floor and stairs on the way. When I got back to the reception I asked the people sitting around where we had been sat if they'd seen them, asked reception if they'd been handed in, nothing. Checked under the chairs and everything. In the sixty seconds it took me to walk downstairs and outside, they completely disappeared.
IE: someone fucking took them and refused to speak up when I asked where they had gone. Thieving fucking bitches.
Just now, I thought I'd figured it out. When I asked reception if they'd been handed in she said "No, dear, but you can go back and see if you dropped them by the hygienist's area earlier?" and I said no, because I hadn't taken my bag in with me when I went in. BUT, when I came out the hygienist forgot to give me my appointment card and for the life of me I can't remember if I had my bag when I went back to get the appointment card before leaving. So just now I called the office and asked if they'd been found but no such luck. =[
Again. Thieving fucking bitches.
So, I'm not happy. I'm tired and I lost the £17 sunglasses I've had for all of nine fucking days. Sure, it could be worse, it could have been a more expensive pair of designer sunglasses, but god damn it, I don't care.
Anyway I should get some work done. This is pretty long =/
Oh on that note I have no idea what I weigh because my scale was not deemed Priority to be brought across this weekend. And I kind of don't want to know. Last time I checked I was back to 198 and this weekend, although it's been hectic with the moving, I had a bacon sandwich on Saturday after moving (it was the only thing we had in the house, granny was cooking for us movers, and I was RAVENOUS after moving shit all morning) and an ice cream cone yesterday so things are probably bad. I Could cry right now even though I don't KNOW.
My official weigh-in day will be this Friday. And good or bad I will post it. Because I report to YOU guys. It kind of helps me stay on track, you know? Like, I feel ashamed if I'm reporting bad news to you, so I have to struggle to have only good to say. That hasn't been the case lately, which is why I avoided the scale for a while I think. But avoiding the issue doesn't make it better, it just makes me in denial. So I need to weigh in and get on with this shit.
GOOD NEWS: J got her date through for the surgery - June 10th. She started her yogurt-and-milk diet yesterday. Which means NO MORE FUCKING FAST FOOD which means it should now be easier for me to get back into restricting too. Yay!
Besides. If she's doing this diet, people can't tell me off for not eating enough, can they? Her surgeon even SAID "normal people can do this diet to lose weight, too" although he did say they should have slimfast instead of just milk, and shouldn't do it EVERY day. Still.
I must remember to buy a load of yogurts. I could easily live off a yogurt for lunch and a yogurt for dinner, and that's only 200 calories combined. So it could totally be worse.
I'm looking forward to it =]
And the money I save will help pay for the TV I need lol.
Later, lovemonkeys!
Vee xoxox
Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been really stressed and busy, as we moved into our new house on Saturday. I spent ALL day on Friday packing (I've only lived in this country for 5 years where the FUCK did all this SHIT come from?? I have enough stuff to furnish a 3-bedroom house on my own, I swear to god), and I'm SO GLAD I took Friday off work. I wasn't going to bother, I thought I'd just leave work early at 4 and spend the night packing. But I packed from 10:30 in the morning and didn't finish until around 8 in the evening. And then I still had a couple things to finish up before we actually moved on Saturday morning.
The house right now is a shambles. Most of the stuff has been moved into the new house, there are just a few things at the old place still (like a couple bags of books, a plastic bag full of old handbags, another bag full of my Film Cell collection (I say collection, I think I have four film cells total so it's hardly a "collection" - for those who are interested, I have the Blade Trilogy, Silent Hill, The Nightmare Before Christmas (OMFGLOVE) and got a small coaster-size Edward Scissorhands one for Christmas. I NEED to get a Fight Club and Choke film cell too... and a Nightmare on Elm Street one would be FABULOUS but we'll see I guess). Our computers are still there but I'm bringing mine home tonight after work and my aunt's leaving hers there for if we need the internet for something until it's been switched to the new house. As of right now we have no interwebs at the new house at all, and AOL (I know, it's Satan's Spawn) said it'll be up to 20 days to get it switched over. Suckage.
SO my updates will be a little sporatic, and I probably won't get around to the Summer2009 challenge in time, but it'll get up there eventually.
So anyway. My bedroom, is bigger. The SPACE is amazing, even though I still have *counts* about 7 boxes in my room right now that need to be unpacked plus the gaming chair my aunt and I bought last year (which is fucking not staying in my room, we bought it to put in the living room, NOT to shove in my room, I don't have THAT much space!) Once the boxes are unpacked I need to bring my big solid wood chest up and I think that is all.
The best news? The treadmill is officially in my bedroom! And it JUST fits between the side of my wardrobe and the wall so I don't have to have it sticking out in the middle of the room. Thank god for inventing foldable exercise equipment. I haven't used it yet as things are so cluttered and I can't even unfold it at this point, but once the boxes are out of the way I'm planning to spend an hour a night on it. I'll have to start walking since my fitness levels are shit-tastic right now, but eventually I want to work my way up to jogging the entire time. I inspected it last night and it DOES have a calorie calculator and a pulse rate thingy in there too, which is something I didn't think it had, so huzzah for that.
Also, I "acquired" a couple Zumba DVDs since I've heard a lot of good things about it. Now that my computer isn't going to be in my bedroom I can't just play them on there and work out, so I think I'll have to burn a few DVDs to keep in my bedroom.
Which reminds me, I need to get a new TV. We're getting Sky installed in the next couple of weeks (for those of you in the US, Sky is like satellite/digital cable. Without it, we have literally only 5 channels, and even that's only with an antenna and if your reception area is amazing.) and I'm getting it setup in my room. And the TV I have right now is crap. It's got a tiny screen, and it's pretty old so it's an old CRT (damn my physics classes, everytime I see or hear or write CRT I flash back to high school when I learned what a Cathode Ray Tube is and how it works and electron firing blah blah. God it's so boring living in my head) and is therefore large and clunky and heavy for what it is. And the DVD player in it doesn't work. Last night while I was doing my hair, I was bored out of my mind. I'm used to reading something on the internet or watching TV/movie on my computer while doing my hair, but without the computer there was nothing to do. So I plugged the fucker in and grabbed one of my aunt's DVDs (yeah for some reason her box of DVDs is in my bedroom, don't ask why because I've no idea) and put it in. And I had to eject and put it back in eight times and blow into the drive a billion times before the bastarding thing would read the disk. SO NOT WORTH THE EFFORT
SO I'll probably just buy a smallish, cheapish flat-screen and have it mounted on my wall, and then get some shelves set up for my XBOX and Sky box and DVD player.
This moving thing is costing so much money, haha.
Bleh, also? This weekend has been hell because I have not slept more than maybe eight collective hours all weekend. I'm the type of person who needs dark and quiet in order to sleep. Once I'm out I can be a bit of a heavy sleeper, or I can be the lightest sleeper in the world, it entirely depends. But I can NOT get to sleep if there is any noise or light. I suffer from insomnia that gets worse at times, and then gets slightly better - but I honestly can not remember the last time I slept a full, straight, uninterrupted 8 hours and woke up feeling refreshed. I am ALWAYS tired.
Anyway I'm digressing.
While packing the last of the big furniture from my bedroom, our friend SR (I'm going to need to put a name legend on the sidebar) asked if we were taking the curtains. Keep in mind that the curtains in my room at the old house cost around £60. They fit my silvery decor, and were fully lined and heavy so they did a damn good job of blocking out any outside light. I paid for them and my aunt is in the process of paying me back for them (along with the £240 carpet we had installed in my room last May). Anyway. My aunt said no, we're not taking the curtains, because she thinks my cat's caught it and pulled a few threads. Also she didn't want to take the curtains because then it would be obvious to outsiders nobody was living there, and the old house is in a neighbourhood where people slash tires knowing full well that people are in the house upstairs with the lights on, so you can imagine what empty houses are like. And there are still valuables in there.
At first, I didn't think of the whole "Light makes my face melt off!" situation. My aunt's sister in law made matching curtains for every room, so there are some nice curtains in my room already that match the wallpaper and carpet - which reminds me, why the fuck did I think the carpet was terra cotta? It's a neutral brown. It must have been reflecting the ghastly rose colour of the old wardrobes or something. BUT of course, after I finally managed to fall asleep, I was WIDE AWAKE at 5:15 in the morning when the sun was STREAMING in and shining full force on my bed. The curtains are made of a very light, gauzy fabric, like tulle or chiffon. They stop basically nothing whatsoever. Same deal this morning. BAD TIMES.
So I brought this up and my aunt said that while we can't take the old curtains yet, she'll find an old sheet or something to cover the window with to help me out in the meantime.
What else?
Oh yeah, this morning my aunt also mentioned we'd have to move my bed away from the wall. Right now it's pressed against the corner so that the head end of my bed is pressed against the wall between my room and my aunts' room, and she said when I turn over the bed is somehow making a banging sound against the wall. So she said to move it down. Except I have no headboard so I can't, if I move the bed my pillows fall off the end - at the old house I had to move my mattress back up flush with the wall EVERY night otherwise my feather pillow was swallowed up in the chasm. SO I have to find somewhere else to put the bed, which is a pain. Possibly just turning it so the side of the bed is a couple inches from the wall and the head is against the outside wall.
Sorry, I'm just thinking out loud at this point.
Ok now I need to bitch. Big time.
Last weekend I went shopping with my good friend S (it's her birthday on Friday, she's turning 19, and this makes me feel very old because jesus, am I REALLY four years older than her?!?!?!) and I bought two pairs of really nice sunglasses from River Island. This morning I wore my favourite pair (which are a pink plastic on the inside and black plastic on the ouside, and there's a flowery design on the sides where you can see the pink through and they're so nice and I love them) when I went to my orthodontist to have my teeth cleaned / any excess glue buffed off.
I'm sure you can already see where I'm going with this.
When I went in and sat next to my grandfather, I clipped the sunglasses onto the strap on my bag. I was called through, had my teeth cleaned, came back out and grabbed my bag from my grandpa and we left. As he passed me the bag I looked at the sunglasses and thought "I need to move those off the strap or I'll lose them" and then put away my appointment card...
Shit, hang on, I just remembered something, I need to call the office again. I'm such a fucking retard.
Nope, no dice.
Anyway. I walked down the stairs, through the X-Ray Reception (which is right inside the front doors, Orthodontics is upstairs) and outside. Once I was outside I realized shit, no sunglasses. So I dropped my bag and jacket next to my grandfather and literally ran back inside and upstairs, checking the floor and stairs on the way. When I got back to the reception I asked the people sitting around where we had been sat if they'd seen them, asked reception if they'd been handed in, nothing. Checked under the chairs and everything. In the sixty seconds it took me to walk downstairs and outside, they completely disappeared.
IE: someone fucking took them and refused to speak up when I asked where they had gone. Thieving fucking bitches.
Just now, I thought I'd figured it out. When I asked reception if they'd been handed in she said "No, dear, but you can go back and see if you dropped them by the hygienist's area earlier?" and I said no, because I hadn't taken my bag in with me when I went in. BUT, when I came out the hygienist forgot to give me my appointment card and for the life of me I can't remember if I had my bag when I went back to get the appointment card before leaving. So just now I called the office and asked if they'd been found but no such luck. =[
Again. Thieving fucking bitches.
So, I'm not happy. I'm tired and I lost the £17 sunglasses I've had for all of nine fucking days. Sure, it could be worse, it could have been a more expensive pair of designer sunglasses, but god damn it, I don't care.
Anyway I should get some work done. This is pretty long =/
Oh on that note I have no idea what I weigh because my scale was not deemed Priority to be brought across this weekend. And I kind of don't want to know. Last time I checked I was back to 198 and this weekend, although it's been hectic with the moving, I had a bacon sandwich on Saturday after moving (it was the only thing we had in the house, granny was cooking for us movers, and I was RAVENOUS after moving shit all morning) and an ice cream cone yesterday so things are probably bad. I Could cry right now even though I don't KNOW.
My official weigh-in day will be this Friday. And good or bad I will post it. Because I report to YOU guys. It kind of helps me stay on track, you know? Like, I feel ashamed if I'm reporting bad news to you, so I have to struggle to have only good to say. That hasn't been the case lately, which is why I avoided the scale for a while I think. But avoiding the issue doesn't make it better, it just makes me in denial. So I need to weigh in and get on with this shit.
GOOD NEWS: J got her date through for the surgery - June 10th. She started her yogurt-and-milk diet yesterday. Which means NO MORE FUCKING FAST FOOD which means it should now be easier for me to get back into restricting too. Yay!
Besides. If she's doing this diet, people can't tell me off for not eating enough, can they? Her surgeon even SAID "normal people can do this diet to lose weight, too" although he did say they should have slimfast instead of just milk, and shouldn't do it EVERY day. Still.
I must remember to buy a load of yogurts. I could easily live off a yogurt for lunch and a yogurt for dinner, and that's only 200 calories combined. So it could totally be worse.
I'm looking forward to it =]
And the money I save will help pay for the TV I need lol.
Later, lovemonkeys!
Vee xoxox
Friday, 22 May 2009
Hell Yeah!
Right now it is 12:48 in the afternoon.
So far today I have had half a bottle of water (I know, I know, I need to drink more =/) and a piece of sugarfree gum.
Only just now starting to feel hungry but I'm savoring the feeling =]
If I had the stuff at home I'd be having Braised Lettuce tonight, but I don't, and I'm not going to Tesco because I don't have the energy or the will. So no idea what I have at home. Maybe a fat free 100-kcal yogurt? Hmm, I might have some low-calorie Chicken Noodle Soup, actually.. I think it said it's 35kcals per serving? Mmmm.
So yeah, so far so good. And in just over 4 hours I'm home free!
Meeting my friend for sushi tomorrow, but if that's all I eat tomorrow it shouldn't be too bad. Yo! Sushi has nutritional info up at their website, so I'm going to try to stick to the best options and fill up on green tea (unlimited!). The dishes come with two of whatever type of sushi it is and we're sharing, so I will be able to have some variety without pigging out on eighty pieces.
The downside is that after doing some shopping, S's fiancee L is meeting up with us to chill, chat, catch up. And we're meeting him at Starbucks. Now, I LOVE starbucks. And I'm in the mood for a caramel coffee light frappuccinno. BUT! I don't need the extra calories on top of sushi.
Do I have the will power to get a plain small coffee, no milk and with some splenda sweeteners in it?
Funny how I can often say no to food, but not to Starbucks. You are my weakness!
Tonight is going to be busy, since I need to find somewhere to put my aunts' laundry to dry (I thought it would be bad form just to wash my own stuff and leave theirs in the laundry basket for when they got back haha) and vacuum the entire house, including the stairs, which is precarious business if you're like me and have a tendency to fall down them stone sober and barefoot, nevermind trying to balance a fucking vacuum on there. Actually, come to think, there's not that much else I need to do, aside from wipe down the kitchen counters and get rid of some out of date food (why would my aunt feed her dog half a can of dog food and then leave it in the fridge knowing full well that the dog is going away for two weeks and that shit is going to stink?)
I also need to bake... I told my aunt about what me and S made last week (and which I wound up giving to my neighbour =]) and she wants some so I'll have to do that tonight so they can have some when they get home.
It used to piss me off when I made cookies before. Because I used to bake a huge batch of like 9 dozen cookies, take a dozen to work, eat half a dozen, and by the end of the week, if I went for a cookie, there would be none left. How do they eat 7 and a half dozen cookies to themselves? I'll tell you how. Rather than eating a cookie as a snack or a couple for dessert or a treat or something, my aunt would eat 7 cookies for breakfast. She'd have 5 cookies before bed. Wake up in the middle of the night and have another half dozen just because she felt like it. I swear to god one time two dozen cookies disappeared literally overnight - there were a lot left when I went to bed, and I went to grab a couple to take to work with lunch, and there were none. And the last two batches of banana bread I made, I got none of.
Anyway. My point is, that doesn't piss me off anymore. Now, I'm grateful for it. I love baking, it can be kind of therapeutic and stress-relieving for me. But the problem is what to do with the results. I was lucky last week that I was throwing some stuff out into our garbage bin while my neighbour's kid was playing in his backyard so I could hand over the cupcakes and blondies then. I wouldn't just wander over and knock on their door to give them, because I'm kind of dumb but whatever.
Instead, leave it on the counter and it'll be gone in two days and I don't have to face it everyday and feel bad for wasting ingredients and money =]
What does irritate me though is that if my aunts make a group meal it's often a matter that we all pay for it. My aunt's partner makes this amazing dish that I love and have had twice in the 5 years since I moved here. And two years ago when I asked if she'd make it, she told me "sure if you buy the ingredients." However, when I bake, when I'm ASKED to bake (my aunt is constantly asking me for oatmeal raisin cookies, peanut butter cookies, and banana bread), it's out of my own pocket. And I can't really afford to be buying a ton of baking ingredients just because. Sigh.
It's going to be a bit of a problem after they have their surgery. Good and bad. Good because there won't be their crappy food in the house to tempt me. Bad because I won't be able to bake and palm the results off on them. It's a pain in the ass to bring stuff into work on the bus but that's what I'll have to do - I love to bake and have no plans to stop doing it.
Anyway, this doesn't really have a point haha. 4 hours to go, it's now 1:01pm =]
XOXO
Vee
So far today I have had half a bottle of water (I know, I know, I need to drink more =/) and a piece of sugarfree gum.
Only just now starting to feel hungry but I'm savoring the feeling =]
If I had the stuff at home I'd be having Braised Lettuce tonight, but I don't, and I'm not going to Tesco because I don't have the energy or the will. So no idea what I have at home. Maybe a fat free 100-kcal yogurt? Hmm, I might have some low-calorie Chicken Noodle Soup, actually.. I think it said it's 35kcals per serving? Mmmm.
So yeah, so far so good. And in just over 4 hours I'm home free!
Meeting my friend for sushi tomorrow, but if that's all I eat tomorrow it shouldn't be too bad. Yo! Sushi has nutritional info up at their website, so I'm going to try to stick to the best options and fill up on green tea (unlimited!). The dishes come with two of whatever type of sushi it is and we're sharing, so I will be able to have some variety without pigging out on eighty pieces.
The downside is that after doing some shopping, S's fiancee L is meeting up with us to chill, chat, catch up. And we're meeting him at Starbucks. Now, I LOVE starbucks. And I'm in the mood for a caramel coffee light frappuccinno. BUT! I don't need the extra calories on top of sushi.
Do I have the will power to get a plain small coffee, no milk and with some splenda sweeteners in it?
Funny how I can often say no to food, but not to Starbucks. You are my weakness!
Tonight is going to be busy, since I need to find somewhere to put my aunts' laundry to dry (I thought it would be bad form just to wash my own stuff and leave theirs in the laundry basket for when they got back haha) and vacuum the entire house, including the stairs, which is precarious business if you're like me and have a tendency to fall down them stone sober and barefoot, nevermind trying to balance a fucking vacuum on there. Actually, come to think, there's not that much else I need to do, aside from wipe down the kitchen counters and get rid of some out of date food (why would my aunt feed her dog half a can of dog food and then leave it in the fridge knowing full well that the dog is going away for two weeks and that shit is going to stink?)
I also need to bake... I told my aunt about what me and S made last week (and which I wound up giving to my neighbour =]) and she wants some so I'll have to do that tonight so they can have some when they get home.
It used to piss me off when I made cookies before. Because I used to bake a huge batch of like 9 dozen cookies, take a dozen to work, eat half a dozen, and by the end of the week, if I went for a cookie, there would be none left. How do they eat 7 and a half dozen cookies to themselves? I'll tell you how. Rather than eating a cookie as a snack or a couple for dessert or a treat or something, my aunt would eat 7 cookies for breakfast. She'd have 5 cookies before bed. Wake up in the middle of the night and have another half dozen just because she felt like it. I swear to god one time two dozen cookies disappeared literally overnight - there were a lot left when I went to bed, and I went to grab a couple to take to work with lunch, and there were none. And the last two batches of banana bread I made, I got none of.
Anyway. My point is, that doesn't piss me off anymore. Now, I'm grateful for it. I love baking, it can be kind of therapeutic and stress-relieving for me. But the problem is what to do with the results. I was lucky last week that I was throwing some stuff out into our garbage bin while my neighbour's kid was playing in his backyard so I could hand over the cupcakes and blondies then. I wouldn't just wander over and knock on their door to give them, because I'm kind of dumb but whatever.
Instead, leave it on the counter and it'll be gone in two days and I don't have to face it everyday and feel bad for wasting ingredients and money =]
What does irritate me though is that if my aunts make a group meal it's often a matter that we all pay for it. My aunt's partner makes this amazing dish that I love and have had twice in the 5 years since I moved here. And two years ago when I asked if she'd make it, she told me "sure if you buy the ingredients." However, when I bake, when I'm ASKED to bake (my aunt is constantly asking me for oatmeal raisin cookies, peanut butter cookies, and banana bread), it's out of my own pocket. And I can't really afford to be buying a ton of baking ingredients just because. Sigh.
It's going to be a bit of a problem after they have their surgery. Good and bad. Good because there won't be their crappy food in the house to tempt me. Bad because I won't be able to bake and palm the results off on them. It's a pain in the ass to bring stuff into work on the bus but that's what I'll have to do - I love to bake and have no plans to stop doing it.
Anyway, this doesn't really have a point haha. 4 hours to go, it's now 1:01pm =]
XOXO
Vee
The Aftermath
So after two days of writhing in pain and being unable to even sleep until the pain went away, I'm now living "The Aftermath" - you know, the time after having a migraine where your head still feels a bit sensitive where the pain used to be, where you feel a little shaky and maybe disoriented and so very, very fatigued. Recovering from a migraine attack really wears you down. That sensitive spot just over the arch of my left eyebrow, feels so tender, feels like the migraine is just dormant and ready to spring back. But if I'm lucky, it'll stay away.
I was doing so well yesterday. Up until 7pm I had only eaten around 200 calories worth of rice (one of the only things I had in the house aside from frozen meals and peanut butter) and was feeling good. Through the day my migraine had slowly abated to a persistent, niggling headache. Towards nighttime though, my head was starting to throb and pound all over again and I was drenched in sweat even though our heating was off - and anyone who knows me will tell you that I am ALWAYS cold. So I thought shit, I need to eat something. I grabbed a frozen meal and shoved it in the microwave and ate it without tasting it. I felt like I was panicking. I also downed a ton of water just in case I was getting dehydrated and that was messing me up.
Luckily, after eating I went to bed with a cool gel thing on my head and, although it took me several hours to fall asleep, I woke up pain-free. Thank god.
Funny story: strange noises kept waking me up even though I had earplugs in, but then when I listened there was nothing. I was freaking myself out. This morning I open the bathroom door (I had shut it because there was a spider on the ceiling and I didn't want the little fucker venturing over to my bedroom in the middle of the night) and my aunt's cat darted out and started purring around my ankles. Oops!
Surprisingly, today is an alright day so far, all things considered. My head feels terribly tender and I'm so very tired and have zero motivation to actually do anything. And my bus is detouring from its current route and bypassing 5 or 6 stops, which means I had to walk an extra 15-minutes uphill to get to the next one. Maybe it's endorphins from getting my heart going a little, but even though I'm exhausted, I'm in a good mood. In work I had a little chat and some laughs with my manager and a few other guys in my team. My manager is fine with the fact that I'm going to be down 3 hours for the working period and is more than happy for me to make it up next week. Whoo!
Anyway, I need to get some work done, since I'm kind of behind after chatting.
More later,
Vee xox
I was doing so well yesterday. Up until 7pm I had only eaten around 200 calories worth of rice (one of the only things I had in the house aside from frozen meals and peanut butter) and was feeling good. Through the day my migraine had slowly abated to a persistent, niggling headache. Towards nighttime though, my head was starting to throb and pound all over again and I was drenched in sweat even though our heating was off - and anyone who knows me will tell you that I am ALWAYS cold. So I thought shit, I need to eat something. I grabbed a frozen meal and shoved it in the microwave and ate it without tasting it. I felt like I was panicking. I also downed a ton of water just in case I was getting dehydrated and that was messing me up.
Luckily, after eating I went to bed with a cool gel thing on my head and, although it took me several hours to fall asleep, I woke up pain-free. Thank god.
Funny story: strange noises kept waking me up even though I had earplugs in, but then when I listened there was nothing. I was freaking myself out. This morning I open the bathroom door (I had shut it because there was a spider on the ceiling and I didn't want the little fucker venturing over to my bedroom in the middle of the night) and my aunt's cat darted out and started purring around my ankles. Oops!
Surprisingly, today is an alright day so far, all things considered. My head feels terribly tender and I'm so very tired and have zero motivation to actually do anything. And my bus is detouring from its current route and bypassing 5 or 6 stops, which means I had to walk an extra 15-minutes uphill to get to the next one. Maybe it's endorphins from getting my heart going a little, but even though I'm exhausted, I'm in a good mood. In work I had a little chat and some laughs with my manager and a few other guys in my team. My manager is fine with the fact that I'm going to be down 3 hours for the working period and is more than happy for me to make it up next week. Whoo!
Anyway, I need to get some work done, since I'm kind of behind after chatting.
More later,
Vee xox
Wednesday, 20 May 2009
Update
First of all, thanks to everyone who's voted in my poll so far. Cross-Trainer is where I was leaning too as well, but it's always nice to get everyone's input! And thanks to Pasco and Ana who left comments with their reasoning on my previous entry. You girls rock!
So a brief update.
Last night I was violently sick and went to bed with a migraine, hoping I'd sleep it off and feel better. No dice. My alarm went off at 7 this morning and I physically could not move because every tiny motion made my head scream and feel like it was trying to tear apart. I reset my alarm for 8:30 and tried to go back to sleep. Woke up at 8:30 and called work to tell them I won't be coming in. I'm kind of stressing because I need to leave work at 4 on Friday so I have time to finish doing the last bits of laundry and vacuum the stairs and stuff before my aunts come home on Saturday. But, not going to work today means I'll be getting 7 hours added on for sick pay but I usually work 8.5 hours, so I'm going to be down on my hours by that hour and a half... More if I do leave early on Friday. So to make up I think I might have to work until 7 tomorrow, and how much does that bite? Sigh.
Still, I can't be slacking off and stuff and just prove to my manager HEY I totally didn't deserve that raise you just gave me because now I'm 2 hours down at the end of the four week work period and! I've had a sick day. (to be fair I think my last sick day was back in like November or December so it could be worse)
I have a friend at work who tells me to just go home if I'm tired or feeling a bit under the weather or have a cold or the slightest headache. I generally persevere unless it's really severely bad. And she always tells me "You're being stupid, nobody thinks better of you for coming in when you're not well" - and I can see her point, but on the flip-side, people DO think WORSE of you for NOT coming in.
I mean in the team I was in previously there's a guy who takes a ton of sick time. I mean we're talking at least once a month for anywhere from 1 day to 2 weeks. And everyone jokes about it. "That man has more time off than Santa" or "Aw, looks like [namehere] has another runny nose" (I mean to be fair it probably exacerbates the issue that he admitted that he takes so much time off because he hates his job and cant be bothered but STILL)
I don't want to be known as "that girl who takes a ton of time off" so I push through it.
Today was one of those days where even the thought of getting up to pee felt like climbing Everest stark naked in the middle of winter. My head still hurts a lot now, not as bad as it was earlier but it's still definitely there. And I feel disoriented and kind of dizzy because of it. And I should probably take tomorrow off work too, only... I'd feel too shitty about it to just sit at home and relax. Too anxious. And too worked up about how I'm going to make up those 3 hours before the weekend. Sigh.
We'll see.
Love you ladies
xoxo Vee
So a brief update.
Last night I was violently sick and went to bed with a migraine, hoping I'd sleep it off and feel better. No dice. My alarm went off at 7 this morning and I physically could not move because every tiny motion made my head scream and feel like it was trying to tear apart. I reset my alarm for 8:30 and tried to go back to sleep. Woke up at 8:30 and called work to tell them I won't be coming in. I'm kind of stressing because I need to leave work at 4 on Friday so I have time to finish doing the last bits of laundry and vacuum the stairs and stuff before my aunts come home on Saturday. But, not going to work today means I'll be getting 7 hours added on for sick pay but I usually work 8.5 hours, so I'm going to be down on my hours by that hour and a half... More if I do leave early on Friday. So to make up I think I might have to work until 7 tomorrow, and how much does that bite? Sigh.
Still, I can't be slacking off and stuff and just prove to my manager HEY I totally didn't deserve that raise you just gave me because now I'm 2 hours down at the end of the four week work period and! I've had a sick day. (to be fair I think my last sick day was back in like November or December so it could be worse)
I have a friend at work who tells me to just go home if I'm tired or feeling a bit under the weather or have a cold or the slightest headache. I generally persevere unless it's really severely bad. And she always tells me "You're being stupid, nobody thinks better of you for coming in when you're not well" - and I can see her point, but on the flip-side, people DO think WORSE of you for NOT coming in.
I mean in the team I was in previously there's a guy who takes a ton of sick time. I mean we're talking at least once a month for anywhere from 1 day to 2 weeks. And everyone jokes about it. "That man has more time off than Santa" or "Aw, looks like [namehere] has another runny nose" (I mean to be fair it probably exacerbates the issue that he admitted that he takes so much time off because he hates his job and cant be bothered but STILL)
I don't want to be known as "that girl who takes a ton of time off" so I push through it.
Today was one of those days where even the thought of getting up to pee felt like climbing Everest stark naked in the middle of winter. My head still hurts a lot now, not as bad as it was earlier but it's still definitely there. And I feel disoriented and kind of dizzy because of it. And I should probably take tomorrow off work too, only... I'd feel too shitty about it to just sit at home and relax. Too anxious. And too worked up about how I'm going to make up those 3 hours before the weekend. Sigh.
We'll see.
Love you ladies
xoxo Vee
Tuesday, 19 May 2009
Poll!
Hey guys
So, I have a migraine and have just spent the past 15 minutes being sick. My throat is raw and I feel like ass. I'm completely exhausted and passed out for 20 minutes while trying to watch a movie on TV and felt so disoriented when I woke up. And it wasn't until I woke up that I thought, woah, I am going to be sick. Ughhh, my throat!
And only 10 more hours until I have to leave for work. Awesome.
Anyway, this is really just a quick post before I go curl up and die somewhere, to say that I've put a poll in the sidebar. As soon as I move, and everything is organized in my room, I am buying some manner of fucking work out equipment. Problem is, I'm torn. Bike? Elliptical? Treadmill? Dumbells? I mean I'll probably get the weights as well as the cardio equipment but I wanted another option and couldn't think of anything else.
So, vote in the poll and tell me what you think. Feel free to post a comment if you prefer something not on the list, or to elaborate on why you prefer that particular piece of equipment (more versatile, burns more calories, better cario, whatever).
Thanks for your help =]
Goodnight and sweet dreams darlings.
Xoxo
Vee
So, I have a migraine and have just spent the past 15 minutes being sick. My throat is raw and I feel like ass. I'm completely exhausted and passed out for 20 minutes while trying to watch a movie on TV and felt so disoriented when I woke up. And it wasn't until I woke up that I thought, woah, I am going to be sick. Ughhh, my throat!
And only 10 more hours until I have to leave for work. Awesome.
Anyway, this is really just a quick post before I go curl up and die somewhere, to say that I've put a poll in the sidebar. As soon as I move, and everything is organized in my room, I am buying some manner of fucking work out equipment. Problem is, I'm torn. Bike? Elliptical? Treadmill? Dumbells? I mean I'll probably get the weights as well as the cardio equipment but I wanted another option and couldn't think of anything else.
So, vote in the poll and tell me what you think. Feel free to post a comment if you prefer something not on the list, or to elaborate on why you prefer that particular piece of equipment (more versatile, burns more calories, better cario, whatever).
Thanks for your help =]
Goodnight and sweet dreams darlings.
Xoxo
Vee
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