Insufficient

I just want to write a quick post to thank you. I'll reply to individual comments soon, likely tomorrow (or rather today, since it's nearly 1am here in jolly ol' England). But I read what you guys have said on my last post, and I just want to hug you all.

I never had any doubts that you would understand what I meant, how I feel, and where I'm coming from when I say the things that I do. I can be myself here. I can bare my soul, with all its imperfections, and say EXACTLY what I think and feel... and know that I'm not alone with you all here at my side.

I would be lost without you all, and you are all such beautiful people. I wish only the best for each of you, and feel blessed that I've become a part of this blog community, if only because of you, the other people here that make it worthwhile. Without whose support, I would be lost and alone.

So thank you. It seems so insufficient, but I don't know how to put it into any other words.

I love you all.

Oh, also!

Just another thanks to everyone who voted in my poll. Right now I have a treadmill, but that's because it's free. Eventually when I can afford it I'll be getting a cross-trainer too, so thanks for your input ladies. You rock and I adore you all <3

Update

First of all, thanks to everyone who's voted in my poll so far. Cross-Trainer is where I was leaning too as well, but it's always nice to get everyone's input! And thanks to Pasco and Ana who left comments with their reasoning on my previous entry. You girls rock!

So a brief update.

Last night I was violently sick and went to bed with a migraine, hoping I'd sleep it off and feel better. No dice. My alarm went off at 7 this morning and I physically could not move because every tiny motion made my head scream and feel like it was trying to tear apart. I reset my alarm for 8:30 and tried to go back to sleep. Woke up at 8:30 and called work to tell them I won't be coming in. I'm kind of stressing because I need to leave work at 4 on Friday so I have time to finish doing the last bits of laundry and vacuum the stairs and stuff before my aunts come home on Saturday. But, not going to work today means I'll be getting 7 hours added on for sick pay but I usually work 8.5 hours, so I'm going to be down on my hours by that hour and a half... More if I do leave early on Friday. So to make up I think I might have to work until 7 tomorrow, and how much does that bite? Sigh.

Still, I can't be slacking off and stuff and just prove to my manager HEY I totally didn't deserve that raise you just gave me because now I'm 2 hours down at the end of the four week work period and! I've had a sick day. (to be fair I think my last sick day was back in like November or December so it could be worse)

I have a friend at work who tells me to just go home if I'm tired or feeling a bit under the weather or have a cold or the slightest headache. I generally persevere unless it's really severely bad. And she always tells me "You're being stupid, nobody thinks better of you for coming in when you're not well" - and I can see her point, but on the flip-side, people DO think WORSE of you for NOT coming in.

I mean in the team I was in previously there's a guy who takes a ton of sick time. I mean we're talking at least once a month for anywhere from 1 day to 2 weeks. And everyone jokes about it. "That man has more time off than Santa" or "Aw, looks like [namehere] has another runny nose" (I mean to be fair it probably exacerbates the issue that he admitted that he takes so much time off because he hates his job and cant be bothered but STILL)

I don't want to be known as "that girl who takes a ton of time off" so I push through it.

Today was one of those days where even the thought of getting up to pee felt like climbing Everest stark naked in the middle of winter. My head still hurts a lot now, not as bad as it was earlier but it's still definitely there. And I feel disoriented and kind of dizzy because of it. And I should probably take tomorrow off work too, only... I'd feel too shitty about it to just sit at home and relax. Too anxious. And too worked up about how I'm going to make up those 3 hours before the weekend. Sigh.

We'll see.

Love you ladies

xoxo Vee

Thank You

I just wanted to thank all my beautiful readers for the comments you've been leaving for me.

All this started as just a way to finally get my thoughts and feelings out there. To keep a record of how things go and how I feel as they progress. To keep track, I guess. I mean, I have a personal diary, but sometimes it's nice to be able to share that, too. Which is, I guess, why I came to the internet to do this. To share my experiences with similar people. I didn't expect to get any messages back from other people, but the support I got back so far has been amazing.

I honestly didn't think I'd get any readers, followers, even comments. And I have to be honest and say that it's nice to have become part of a... "network" if you will. I read your blogs religiously even though I don't comment often, and your posts give me motivation to keep strong myself.

So, I want to apologise for not having any new posts up for like two weeks. And thank you for your comments and support. I'm going to be more active about updating this blog, as opposed to just rambling away in my friends-only LJ and forgetting about this one (if you want to add me on Livejournal anyway, my username there is xsnuffondigital =])

I love you all and wish you the best of luck in reaching your goals.

Stay strong, think thin.

But mostly, just stay the beautiful, motivating, caring people that you are.

Vee xxx