Was a failure.
My aunts didn't say anything about me being noisy this morning. But yesterday when I was woken up I put my facebook status as "V... has a monster friggin headache and is not happy about being woken up while trying to sleep it off =/" and today my aunt commented and said "we are allowed to have guests over in our own home!"
So tonight nobody said anything (I checked this at work before I came home) but while we were in the car I was laughing about what some mutual friends had written on one of my status updates last week. And my aunt commented that "Yeah I replied to yours with this" and laughed. So I was like "Yeah well it wasn't the guests that woke me up." Which she should have known.
Because last night I SAID to her "She woke me up banging the bathroom door last night" but tried to make it into a joke by saying I really needed to get up and do my hair anyway. Just because I hate conflict and don't want to start an argument with my aunt...
Anyway so today she was like "well then what did wake you up?" and I said "the bathroom door banging." Conveniently J kept out of this entire conversation even though she was driving the car we were in. And then my aunt said (half-jokingly, she always says things that annoy her half-jokingly, so I never know HOW Serious she is about shit but whatever) "You're a little bugger for making noise at night, especially if you have your earplugs in!"
Of course, I know I NEVER make noise at night. It's only maybe once a week (if that) that I even get up to use the bathroom at night with my earplugs in. And even if I do get up my bedroom door is gay and sticks and bangs when you OPEN it, no matter how careful you are. You have to force it out of the jamb, in part I think because the carpet and underlay in here is a little too tall for the door so it sticks. Anyway. When I close my door and the bathroom door however I am always SO FUCKING QUIET. So I can only assume she was using this morning's noise to bring it up, since I haven't made any noise in months and my aunt hasn't brought it up in months. But of course somehow "the two bangs I made this morning on purpose" turned into "I bang every single night multiple times" which is bullshit.
Of course again I just ignored it because I didn't want to start a fight. I should have gone on about how ACTUALLY I make an effort and it's J who wakes me up EVERY NIGHT. I usually tend to go to bed earlier than them due to my insomnia. It sounds like a contradiction but I always figure, the earlier I get to bed and eventually fall asleep, the most cumulative hours I'll have stacked up by the time my alarm goes off, in between waking up a billion times. And Every Single Night J bangs around in the bathroom.
So, I was too much of a pussy to turn it into a fight this afternoon.
It doesn't help that they got me a really nice silver charm bracelet with two charms (a union jack / UK flag, and a dolphin) for my birthday and let me open it today even though it's not my birthday until Tuesday. Now I'm looking forward to adding charms =] So I couldn't be a bitch, sigh.
Anyway, they're going away tomorrow and I'll have a big quiet house all to myself for two weeks. Awesome.
And also, the rest of my ED books and stuff came today =] So I've got my 200 Under 200 book which I'll start transcribing to my ED-Foodblog this weekend whoo! And two more tarot books and my new Wiccan Oracle Cards which are pretty awesome - the card feels a little flimsy but they're so beautifully illustrated so I love them.
And we spent half the day at work doing tarot readings - I thought I'd be in shit because half the team was using my "communal" cards (I only have one deck that I'll let other people use, the rest I'll let people shuffle for readings but won't let people "play" with them) and trying to do readings for themselves. And no work got done for like two hours. But then my manager had me show him how to do it and was all enthusiastic for me to show another guy / supervisor dude in my team who sits next to him, so obviously he didn't mind, which rocks. I really like my manager =] He looks a little bit like a shorter Johnny Depp, too
Anyway, I'm tired so I'm going to try to get to sleep early - my aunts are waking me up at 5 tomorrow morning so I can say goodbye before they leave - so I'll talk to you guys tomorrow.
Muchlove!
Vee xox
Showing posts with label tarot. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tarot. Show all posts
Friday, 8 May 2009
Monday, 4 May 2009
Fatigued! [and more tarot-ey goodness]
So, today started off kind of a busy day.
I was in a bad mood to start off with, mostly because I couldn't sleep at all last night, ugh. Then I had to get up and go to the mall with my aunts, because they needed to buy a new vacuum (long story short: ours broke, but we had my aunt's partner's brother's because he lives in Spain and we're buying their house and everything in the house comes with it and they told my aunts sure, take the vacuum. But they're back in the UK for a few weeks now and asked for it back so my aunt just had to go spent a hundred pounds on a new one, sigh)
God, okay, sidenote: just changed the batteries in my keyboard and I can finally type like a normal fucking human being again!!!
Anyway, so I also needed to get some birthday presents for my aunt's partner and my grandfather, plus birthday cards for both of them and one to send to my brother in Canada. I could not find a decent frigging graduation card, so I'm going to have to have another look sometime this week, but there's a nice store up the road from where I work that sells handmade ones so I might get one from there...
((another sidenote. An online friend just messaged me on AIM to say "catch ya tomorrow". I haven't spoken to her in over a week, why the hell start a conversation to say goodbye? Fucking weird ass people))
So I got J (aunt's partner's) present right off the bat. She's into Scrabble and has borrowed my DS version to take on holiday with her, so I bought her her own. It's her birthday while she's away and she'll have mine anyway but at least she'll have her own to keep her busy back home. And for my grandfather I got him a couple nice polo-neck tees from Mark and Spencers, because that's what he told me he wanted. Well, that was some confusion over that. At his house on Saturday he gestured to the top he was wearing and said "I just want some more of these" so fine, I thought, get him some short-sleeved tops. Then my aunt spent today convincing me that what he wanted was some sweatshirts, and that the long-sleeved top I got him for Christmas was a "thin sweater" but he was like a "jogging top" instead. And I was like, dude, I got him one of EACH of those kinds for Christmas, and anyway why the hell would he be asking me for more sweaters when it's almost summer, and this is a man who is almost always twenty degrees warmer than the average human being?
So we get to M&S and my aunt has me absolutely convinced he wants a thick sweater, and I'm going what the fuck. Of course, in May nowhere sells thick sweatshirts, just cardigans and thin long-sleeved tops. So I'm wandering around muttering about how this whole thing is retarded and wondering where the hell my aunt decided he meant a long-sleeved sweatshirt to begin with. So she said "well he said he wants some more sweaters" and I said "No, he pointed to what he was already wearing and said "some more of these tops"" and my aunt was like "oh, maybe it is then, but grandma said.. hangon I'll check"
So she called my grandparents' house and my grandfather answers the phone. She asked for my grandma, wanting to be all sly and not let him know we're shopping for him right now, but she was out and instead of just ASKING HIM WHAT HE WANTED she hung up. So I wanted to call back but didn't want to be an idiot, so I just went and bought him some nice short-sleeved tops instead. For. Fuck. Sakes.
Why did that have to be so god damn difficult?
After this we went and bought our respective birthday cards, and while I was waiting in line my aunt told me she'd meet me down at Argos because they were going to go buy a vacuum / wait for it to be brought out front from the storage area. So about two minutes later I was done and trekked down to Argos; and they're not fucking there. Do not get all impatient and tell me to meet you somewhere and then not be there! Like I said I was in a bad mood to begin with this morning, so by this point I was irritated and called my aunt to ask where she was. After ringing eighty times she picked up - I didn't think she would, earlier when she told me to meet her at HMV I called her 4 times to make sure she was still there and she didn't answer her phone - and told me she was in a shoe store. So I waited, and was still annoyed.
By this time, my back was starting to ache and I hadn't had anything to eat or drink all day and it was around 1:30 and I was super thirsty and had totally crashed. My blood sugar levels were probably close to zilch and I was getting a headache. After they ordered the vacuum though, we managed to get the fuck out of there.
In the car, I decided that since I was about to pass out, I'd make the pasta early. That way it would also be out of the way and I'd have the afternoon to digest it and hopefully get it out of my system before the dreaded weigh-in tomorrow morning. So we got home and I got cooking and the pasta was amazing, and then the aunts went for naps and I came to my room to chill and wound up doing a few of the Japanese lessons on my Rosetta Stone software (woot for learning!)
Just as I climbed into bed for a mid afternoon nap to supplement the lack of sleep last night, my aunt knocked on my door. They were heading to my aunt's partner's brother's house to take the vacuum back to them and my aunt asked me if I was going to have a bath tonight. Um, yeah. I tend to shower more often than have a bath, mostly because I'm incapable of having a bath that lasts under 45 minutes and sometimes it just seems like a waste of time. But the night before I have to go back to work - usually Sunday night but in this case today was a bank holiday so it's tonight - I have a long soak to relax and whatnot. So I said yes, and she asked me to have my bath while they were at the brother-in-law's house, so that J had time for a bath tonight.
So, there went my nap. I told her I had planned on having a nap but then of course they were banging around and I was wide awake so figured I might as well have a bath anyway. And that basically brings me to now. It's 6:45pm, I just got out of an hour-long bath, and I need to dry and straighten my hair for work tomorrow. But I'm so fucking dog tired all I want to do is climb into bed and pass out until my alarm goes off for work tomorrow. Of course, on the other side of that coin, I would never go to work without sorting my hair out, so the straightening, as huge a pain in my ass it is, needs to be done.
Once it is, I'll probably go pass out again.
God, that's a fuck of a lot of rambling about absolutely nothing, I apologies.
So now for something completely different.
I mentioned in my previous post some Tarot-ness. Once again my readings came up with a lot of stuff about self-control and goal-reaching and was all around pretty positive stuff. But by 2 this morning I was getting tired and couldn't be bothered with full spreads and card interpretations, so I did a series of Yes/No readings instead.
A Yes/No tarot reading is easy. Basically you shuffle your deck while concentrating on a straightforward yes or no question. Then, you turn over the top cards one by one until you get your answer. Generally speaking the yes and no cards are part of the major arcana, and a lot of people tend to use the Death or Devil cards as no, and something else for yes. I make it easier than that. Card 0 - The Fool, the first card in the major arcana, is my NO card. Card XXI - The World, the final card in the major arcana, is my YES card. Whichever card comes up first as you turn over the cards one by one from the shuffled deck, that's your answer.
And things meshed pretty well.
Question 1: Will I reach my goal of dropping 4stone by September? (4 stone is 56lbs by the way, which is significant to the following questions)
Answer: No
Disappointing but I moved on.
Question 2: Will I manage to lose 40lbs by September?
Answer: Yes
Question 3: Will I lose 50lbs by September?
Answer: No
That one I should have seen coming based on the first question, but I like it when the tarot gives you the same answers and reinforces your previous questions instead of giving you mixed signals.
Question 4: Will I lose 45lbs by September?
Answer: No
Final question: So then I will lose between 40-45lbs by September?
Answer: Yes
Which would be fucking AWESOME.
I don't rest ALL of my faith and expectations on the tarot, not by a long shot. But the possible insight is still pretty cool. And then to test it, I did a very lame reading. I asked the cards what time I would first wake up and look at my clock at this morning. The value of the card would equal the time. I did this twice and both times I got a card with the number 8 on the face. Last night I didn't sleep well and tossed and turned, but the first time I actually looked at the clock, it said 8:04.
Spooky no?
So, we'll see. Either way I'm determined and am going to make that 40-45 goal my MINIMUM goal, but I'm going to try to push myself to lose more and prove it wrong ;] Because I'm weird and a bit obsessive like that.
Anyway I need to stop procrastinating and do my hair.
As always, thanks for your comments dears (I don't know if you see, but I do reply to your comments, only I reply in my own comments section because posting back to your own blogs to me messes up the chain response/conversation and confuses me haha) and stay strong.
All my love!
Vee xox
I was in a bad mood to start off with, mostly because I couldn't sleep at all last night, ugh. Then I had to get up and go to the mall with my aunts, because they needed to buy a new vacuum (long story short: ours broke, but we had my aunt's partner's brother's because he lives in Spain and we're buying their house and everything in the house comes with it and they told my aunts sure, take the vacuum. But they're back in the UK for a few weeks now and asked for it back so my aunt just had to go spent a hundred pounds on a new one, sigh)
God, okay, sidenote: just changed the batteries in my keyboard and I can finally type like a normal fucking human being again!!!
Anyway, so I also needed to get some birthday presents for my aunt's partner and my grandfather, plus birthday cards for both of them and one to send to my brother in Canada. I could not find a decent frigging graduation card, so I'm going to have to have another look sometime this week, but there's a nice store up the road from where I work that sells handmade ones so I might get one from there...
((another sidenote. An online friend just messaged me on AIM to say "catch ya tomorrow". I haven't spoken to her in over a week, why the hell start a conversation to say goodbye? Fucking weird ass people))
So I got J (aunt's partner's) present right off the bat. She's into Scrabble and has borrowed my DS version to take on holiday with her, so I bought her her own. It's her birthday while she's away and she'll have mine anyway but at least she'll have her own to keep her busy back home. And for my grandfather I got him a couple nice polo-neck tees from Mark and Spencers, because that's what he told me he wanted. Well, that was some confusion over that. At his house on Saturday he gestured to the top he was wearing and said "I just want some more of these" so fine, I thought, get him some short-sleeved tops. Then my aunt spent today convincing me that what he wanted was some sweatshirts, and that the long-sleeved top I got him for Christmas was a "thin sweater" but he was like a "jogging top" instead. And I was like, dude, I got him one of EACH of those kinds for Christmas, and anyway why the hell would he be asking me for more sweaters when it's almost summer, and this is a man who is almost always twenty degrees warmer than the average human being?
So we get to M&S and my aunt has me absolutely convinced he wants a thick sweater, and I'm going what the fuck. Of course, in May nowhere sells thick sweatshirts, just cardigans and thin long-sleeved tops. So I'm wandering around muttering about how this whole thing is retarded and wondering where the hell my aunt decided he meant a long-sleeved sweatshirt to begin with. So she said "well he said he wants some more sweaters" and I said "No, he pointed to what he was already wearing and said "some more of these tops"" and my aunt was like "oh, maybe it is then, but grandma said.. hangon I'll check"
So she called my grandparents' house and my grandfather answers the phone. She asked for my grandma, wanting to be all sly and not let him know we're shopping for him right now, but she was out and instead of just ASKING HIM WHAT HE WANTED she hung up. So I wanted to call back but didn't want to be an idiot, so I just went and bought him some nice short-sleeved tops instead. For. Fuck. Sakes.
Why did that have to be so god damn difficult?
After this we went and bought our respective birthday cards, and while I was waiting in line my aunt told me she'd meet me down at Argos because they were going to go buy a vacuum / wait for it to be brought out front from the storage area. So about two minutes later I was done and trekked down to Argos; and they're not fucking there. Do not get all impatient and tell me to meet you somewhere and then not be there! Like I said I was in a bad mood to begin with this morning, so by this point I was irritated and called my aunt to ask where she was. After ringing eighty times she picked up - I didn't think she would, earlier when she told me to meet her at HMV I called her 4 times to make sure she was still there and she didn't answer her phone - and told me she was in a shoe store. So I waited, and was still annoyed.
By this time, my back was starting to ache and I hadn't had anything to eat or drink all day and it was around 1:30 and I was super thirsty and had totally crashed. My blood sugar levels were probably close to zilch and I was getting a headache. After they ordered the vacuum though, we managed to get the fuck out of there.
In the car, I decided that since I was about to pass out, I'd make the pasta early. That way it would also be out of the way and I'd have the afternoon to digest it and hopefully get it out of my system before the dreaded weigh-in tomorrow morning. So we got home and I got cooking and the pasta was amazing, and then the aunts went for naps and I came to my room to chill and wound up doing a few of the Japanese lessons on my Rosetta Stone software (woot for learning!)
Just as I climbed into bed for a mid afternoon nap to supplement the lack of sleep last night, my aunt knocked on my door. They were heading to my aunt's partner's brother's house to take the vacuum back to them and my aunt asked me if I was going to have a bath tonight. Um, yeah. I tend to shower more often than have a bath, mostly because I'm incapable of having a bath that lasts under 45 minutes and sometimes it just seems like a waste of time. But the night before I have to go back to work - usually Sunday night but in this case today was a bank holiday so it's tonight - I have a long soak to relax and whatnot. So I said yes, and she asked me to have my bath while they were at the brother-in-law's house, so that J had time for a bath tonight.
So, there went my nap. I told her I had planned on having a nap but then of course they were banging around and I was wide awake so figured I might as well have a bath anyway. And that basically brings me to now. It's 6:45pm, I just got out of an hour-long bath, and I need to dry and straighten my hair for work tomorrow. But I'm so fucking dog tired all I want to do is climb into bed and pass out until my alarm goes off for work tomorrow. Of course, on the other side of that coin, I would never go to work without sorting my hair out, so the straightening, as huge a pain in my ass it is, needs to be done.
Once it is, I'll probably go pass out again.
God, that's a fuck of a lot of rambling about absolutely nothing, I apologies.
So now for something completely different.
I mentioned in my previous post some Tarot-ness. Once again my readings came up with a lot of stuff about self-control and goal-reaching and was all around pretty positive stuff. But by 2 this morning I was getting tired and couldn't be bothered with full spreads and card interpretations, so I did a series of Yes/No readings instead.
A Yes/No tarot reading is easy. Basically you shuffle your deck while concentrating on a straightforward yes or no question. Then, you turn over the top cards one by one until you get your answer. Generally speaking the yes and no cards are part of the major arcana, and a lot of people tend to use the Death or Devil cards as no, and something else for yes. I make it easier than that. Card 0 - The Fool, the first card in the major arcana, is my NO card. Card XXI - The World, the final card in the major arcana, is my YES card. Whichever card comes up first as you turn over the cards one by one from the shuffled deck, that's your answer.
And things meshed pretty well.
Question 1: Will I reach my goal of dropping 4stone by September? (4 stone is 56lbs by the way, which is significant to the following questions)
Answer: No
Disappointing but I moved on.
Question 2: Will I manage to lose 40lbs by September?
Answer: Yes
Question 3: Will I lose 50lbs by September?
Answer: No
That one I should have seen coming based on the first question, but I like it when the tarot gives you the same answers and reinforces your previous questions instead of giving you mixed signals.
Question 4: Will I lose 45lbs by September?
Answer: No
Final question: So then I will lose between 40-45lbs by September?
Answer: Yes
Which would be fucking AWESOME.
I don't rest ALL of my faith and expectations on the tarot, not by a long shot. But the possible insight is still pretty cool. And then to test it, I did a very lame reading. I asked the cards what time I would first wake up and look at my clock at this morning. The value of the card would equal the time. I did this twice and both times I got a card with the number 8 on the face. Last night I didn't sleep well and tossed and turned, but the first time I actually looked at the clock, it said 8:04.
Spooky no?
So, we'll see. Either way I'm determined and am going to make that 40-45 goal my MINIMUM goal, but I'm going to try to push myself to lose more and prove it wrong ;] Because I'm weird and a bit obsessive like that.
Anyway I need to stop procrastinating and do my hair.
As always, thanks for your comments dears (I don't know if you see, but I do reply to your comments, only I reply in my own comments section because posting back to your own blogs to me messes up the chain response/conversation and confuses me haha) and stay strong.
All my love!
Vee xox
Oh what?
After last night's blog about how I was okay yesterday but not good enough to lose - and probably bad enough to gain - it was with no small measure of trepidation that I stepped onto my scale this morning. I kept thinking, maybe I should stop weighing in every day and just do a weekly weigh in on like Friday or Saturday. That way, I can just count up the pounds lost in a week and there won't be quite as much daily up-down fluctuations going on. And maybe I'll be happier to see a drop of 4lbs all at once, rather than the odd pound here, half a pound there.
The problem is, I'm a slave to my scale. I am physically incapable of not weighing in, unless I've managed to completely forget about it as I'm running late for work or something. So, I stepped on, bracing myself for the magic number - 195? 195.5?
But no. 193.4. A drop of 0.6lbs from yesterday.
Can I get a FUCK YEAH!?
Such a relief. Today is going to be a non-eating day for MOST of the day. Unfortunately my aunts want me to make my famous linguine (which includes an olive-oil based garlic sauce and fresh parmesan cheese) tonight, which means that I can afford one small serving of that and NOTHING ELSE if I don't want to balloon back up tomorrow. Hopefully not eating for the rest of the day will balance out the oil-calories, but to be perfectly honest, I'm not holding my breath. Again. The last time I made my pasta I put on like 2lbs overnight.
Luckily it's back to working long hours tomorrow so I'll be able to get away with not eating much from Tuesday to Thursday (Going out for a birthday dinner with family on Friday BUT then my aunts are going away!)
Anyway, I need to get dressed and put my makeups on - gotta get fakin' that perfect skin of mine! ;] - because I need to hit the mall and do some birthday shopping for my aunt's partner and my grandfather. I also need to get an 18th birthday card for my brother and a graduation card to send to my sister, both in Canada. I'm probably forgetting something, May is a brutal month for special occasions =/
I did a lot of tarot-playing last night and the results I got were pretty interesting and motivating! So I'll share that with you when I get home, I don't have time right now =]
Vee xox
The problem is, I'm a slave to my scale. I am physically incapable of not weighing in, unless I've managed to completely forget about it as I'm running late for work or something. So, I stepped on, bracing myself for the magic number - 195? 195.5?
But no. 193.4. A drop of 0.6lbs from yesterday.
Can I get a FUCK YEAH!?
Such a relief. Today is going to be a non-eating day for MOST of the day. Unfortunately my aunts want me to make my famous linguine (which includes an olive-oil based garlic sauce and fresh parmesan cheese) tonight, which means that I can afford one small serving of that and NOTHING ELSE if I don't want to balloon back up tomorrow. Hopefully not eating for the rest of the day will balance out the oil-calories, but to be perfectly honest, I'm not holding my breath. Again. The last time I made my pasta I put on like 2lbs overnight.
Luckily it's back to working long hours tomorrow so I'll be able to get away with not eating much from Tuesday to Thursday (Going out for a birthday dinner with family on Friday BUT then my aunts are going away!)
Anyway, I need to get dressed and put my makeups on - gotta get fakin' that perfect skin of mine! ;] - because I need to hit the mall and do some birthday shopping for my aunt's partner and my grandfather. I also need to get an 18th birthday card for my brother and a graduation card to send to my sister, both in Canada. I'm probably forgetting something, May is a brutal month for special occasions =/
I did a lot of tarot-playing last night and the results I got were pretty interesting and motivating! So I'll share that with you when I get home, I don't have time right now =]
Vee xox
And Also...
I'm too lazy to just edit my previous post, eat me.
Some of my ED-Books came the other day. I picked them up from my grandparents' house yesterday afternoon. I had to tell them "Some of the stuff is books and some tarot cards for me, some of it MIGHT BE early Christmas presents because there was a sale on Amazon, so I can't open them right now and show you."
How messed up is it that my family is so nosey that they always DEMAND to know exactly what I ordered. That time I ordered diet pills they kept asking me what the package was and when I was all "it's none of your business" they wouldn't take that shit and thought I was joking and kept PESTERING ME so I told them I'd ordered some more Valerian tablets to help with my insomnia. It was bullshit, but it got them off my back.
It just reinforces that my life is not nearly as private as I would like it to be. What if I was ordering lengerie and flavoured lube from Anne Summers? Or fucking sex toys? I mean seriously, what I buy online is nobody's fucking business but my own.
Yet again, I wish I could afford to move into my own apartment. But there's no way in the forseeable future that is going to happen.
Also, my nails are suffering and that pisses me off. It's probably a mix between the lack of lots of proper food (I forgot to take my vitamins every day but twice this week, I suck so hard) and I probably over-filed/buffed them last week. But they keep peeling and now I've had to cut them down so the peeley bits are gone and have to wait for them to grow out again. Fucking nails. Show some respect, motherfuckers. I bit my nails constantly until I was 12 and then stopped cold turkey, and THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?
I swear to god I'm not ACTUALLY going crazy.
In other news, one of my Tarot books also came. I've got two tarot books and a Wiccan Cards oracle deck (the artwork on them looked really nice, I always seem to buy cards based on how they look. Yes, I am shallow, and I do not give a shit.) coming in total. The one that came is called The Tarot Bible, and was well worth the money. It gives pretty in-depth descriptions of each card, as well as lots of different spreads, as well as lots of info about the history of the tarot and how to use them most effectively. I used it in conjunction with my Egyptian Tarot deck last night, and all the spreads seemed to be pretty spot-on. I got a lot of cards about perfectionism and idealism and new goals and will power and fighting self-indulgence.
It always creeps me out a little when things ring true. I do not profess to be a psychic by any means, but sometimes things are just so RIGHT.
Of course, when my ex left me for an uglier other woman, I did a reading with a set of fortune cards. It was a simple spread. Card 1 = me. Card 2 = him. Card 3 = the dynamic between the two of us. And then I did a second spread on him and her and their dynamic.
The dynamic between him and me came up as "True love and happiness." The one between him and her said - and this is VERBATIM FROM THE FACE OF THE CARD ITSELF "Fate has blocked this path for you."
OF course I convinced myself this meant we would get back together. Maybe he'll come crawling back in the future when he realizes how dumb it was to leave ME, but I doubt it, and if he did I would laugh in his face because I'm mean like that.
So, maybe my tarot just tells me what I want to hear, or what I need to hear to make it through another day, I don't know. Time will tell, but last night's made me hopeful that I can and will succeed.
Unrelated sidenote: I think the batteries in my wireless keyboard are dying because even though I'm typing at half my usual speed and not missing any keys, HALF the letters are not registering so it's taking forever to type this and it is PISSING ME OFFFFFF!!!
Gah. Ok I'm going to stop there because I'm annoyed and need to charge these bitches up.
Goodnight my darlings.
Vee xox
Some of my ED-Books came the other day. I picked them up from my grandparents' house yesterday afternoon. I had to tell them "Some of the stuff is books and some tarot cards for me, some of it MIGHT BE early Christmas presents because there was a sale on Amazon, so I can't open them right now and show you."
How messed up is it that my family is so nosey that they always DEMAND to know exactly what I ordered. That time I ordered diet pills they kept asking me what the package was and when I was all "it's none of your business" they wouldn't take that shit and thought I was joking and kept PESTERING ME so I told them I'd ordered some more Valerian tablets to help with my insomnia. It was bullshit, but it got them off my back.
It just reinforces that my life is not nearly as private as I would like it to be. What if I was ordering lengerie and flavoured lube from Anne Summers? Or fucking sex toys? I mean seriously, what I buy online is nobody's fucking business but my own.
Yet again, I wish I could afford to move into my own apartment. But there's no way in the forseeable future that is going to happen.
Also, my nails are suffering and that pisses me off. It's probably a mix between the lack of lots of proper food (I forgot to take my vitamins every day but twice this week, I suck so hard) and I probably over-filed/buffed them last week. But they keep peeling and now I've had to cut them down so the peeley bits are gone and have to wait for them to grow out again. Fucking nails. Show some respect, motherfuckers. I bit my nails constantly until I was 12 and then stopped cold turkey, and THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?
I swear to god I'm not ACTUALLY going crazy.
In other news, one of my Tarot books also came. I've got two tarot books and a Wiccan Cards oracle deck (the artwork on them looked really nice, I always seem to buy cards based on how they look. Yes, I am shallow, and I do not give a shit.) coming in total. The one that came is called The Tarot Bible, and was well worth the money. It gives pretty in-depth descriptions of each card, as well as lots of different spreads, as well as lots of info about the history of the tarot and how to use them most effectively. I used it in conjunction with my Egyptian Tarot deck last night, and all the spreads seemed to be pretty spot-on. I got a lot of cards about perfectionism and idealism and new goals and will power and fighting self-indulgence.
It always creeps me out a little when things ring true. I do not profess to be a psychic by any means, but sometimes things are just so RIGHT.
Of course, when my ex left me for an uglier other woman, I did a reading with a set of fortune cards. It was a simple spread. Card 1 = me. Card 2 = him. Card 3 = the dynamic between the two of us. And then I did a second spread on him and her and their dynamic.
The dynamic between him and me came up as "True love and happiness." The one between him and her said - and this is VERBATIM FROM THE FACE OF THE CARD ITSELF "Fate has blocked this path for you."
OF course I convinced myself this meant we would get back together. Maybe he'll come crawling back in the future when he realizes how dumb it was to leave ME, but I doubt it, and if he did I would laugh in his face because I'm mean like that.
So, maybe my tarot just tells me what I want to hear, or what I need to hear to make it through another day, I don't know. Time will tell, but last night's made me hopeful that I can and will succeed.
Unrelated sidenote: I think the batteries in my wireless keyboard are dying because even though I'm typing at half my usual speed and not missing any keys, HALF the letters are not registering so it's taking forever to type this and it is PISSING ME OFFFFFF!!!
Gah. Ok I'm going to stop there because I'm annoyed and need to charge these bitches up.
Goodnight my darlings.
Vee xox
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